LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXI, Issue 21906, 15 September 1934, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

BY MERCCTIO

Even so early in tho season as this reports of the white butterfly are bejopiing quite frequent, this new harbinger of spring having beaten the shiuing cuckoo before the race began. Tlio butterfly may be white on the Tviig, bYit it is far from white in the opinion of those who tend and cherish cabbages, turnips and other luscious fruits of the earth. It i s a terrible thing that so much beauty and lightsomeness —for a white butterfly in flight is a thing of beauty indeed—should mask so much evil intent. At least, tliip is not quite accurate. The butterfly itself has left all its evil de<«s behind. They were done when it was in the caterpillar stage. Its progeny are going to be just as bad, but the little flutterer itself is as innocent of harm as its appearance implies. All of which is very perplexing, leaving it very difficult to draw the moral, if any. Probably there isn't any. Something was said the other day about the spring recruiting of boys fox the Navy being under way. Until it was mentioned in this fashion few people can have realised that this recruiting was a seasonal business. Why it should be has not been explained even yet. It may be the Navy people think that in the spring a young boy's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of ships and such like things. You can never tell what the Navy people are thinking, and they certainly won't tell you; tho Silent Navy, you know. On the other hand, there may be a very practical reason for the spring recruiting. At spring cleaning time it may be very handy to have a few extra boys about to do a spot of holystoning or brasspjlishing or something. The only flaw in this theory is that the permanently disillusioned matelot—which means any given rating with more than six months' service—will tell you that every day in the 365 is spring cleaning time; and don't you forget it, because he's never allowed to. But don't take too much notice 9f that, because it is always the open season for the sailor's grouse, as for the soldier's. But the Navy will get the boys it wants all th 6 same. It is impossible even yet to get away from this freedom of speech—the speeches about it are so frequent and free. But when you come to look at it there is growing apparent a need for something more than freedom. One ardent advocate of free speech made a verbal slip—which he himself aftervrards admitted —that gave his views a.nd intentions quite a wrong complexion. Then his critics arose in their wrath. What with failing to notice the correction of the original slip, and •rnth getting the views and personality of on©' academic gentleman hopelessly . mixed with those of another, they succeeded finally in making confusion so much worse confounded that there iseemed no chance of finding a way out of the tangle. What, then, does this suggest? Broadly, that with all the weighty, that must inevitably be given to freedom Qf sjjeech, in theory and in

practice, there might be some attention ]ieft for, the preparation of speeches and due deliberation in delivering them. There are enough openings for argument abont the original theme without haying it complicated as it has been.

It has been suggested at various times that a good living, or at least a comfortable profit, might be made by varioufe people if they were only allowed to rear and fatten oysters for the market. It ought to be an interesting occupation too, and much more satisfactory than milking cows. When an oyster is ripe and ready he has only to be picked once» There is none of this nonsense of attending to him night and morning, seven days a \reek, as with cows. Unfortunately, th© experts,, who have tried a few experiments, cast very serious doubts on the possibilities of o.vster-culture as a cure for the depression in primary industry. It is a pity. If we could all turn to cultivating oysters, and selling them to one another, the depression might be cured for all of us. _ Actually their adverse report is mainly bused on the fact that the price for the finished, fattened and marketable oyster is considerably lower in New Zealand than in Australia, where the business of oyster cultivation flourishes reasonably. This just shows how terribly out of touch with modern principles and proposals some experts can be. If the price is tho whole trouble, some method of control to raise prices is surely the obvious remedy So far as Auckland is concerned, application would only need to be made to the Milk Council and the job would be as good as done.

Remarkable the uses being made to-day of what used to be quite a commonplace word —control. There was a time when it was supposed to be applied to oneself, and its employment practically ceased there. Row there is hardly anything that is not being made subject to control, or bong suggested as an appropriate subject for it. These moralisings are inspired by the fact that the Transport Department is talking about the control of bicycles; It is obvious that the owner and rider of the humble push or pedal cycle is soon to be a hunted creature, as much the victim of registration forms, licences, regulations and inspectors as the hapless motorist is already.. Perhaps, presently, someone will be seiz-ed of the idea of a scheme for control of the controllers It will be a splendid thing too, especially if they apply a good, stiff quota. It may be difficult, and if it is found that fcontrollers are born, not matte, it may even be a delicate job. how well worth while it will be it only it proves possible.

ft is not only control schemes that grow and grow. Departments do too. Tbeir development is a splendid 1 " us " tration of the way one thing leads to another. Take the great Department or Transport as an instance. One forgets exactly what its other functions are, but //obviously the control of bicycles is about to be added to them. The thing won't stop there, either; not a hope of it. Presently it will appear worse than anomalous, actually monstrous, in fact, that tricycles -should go careering about tho place absolutely unregistered and uncontrolled. Ihus the control of tricycles may become & burning issue, on which a general election may turn. After tricycles must t come scooters. The real problem will arise when it is a question ®f controlling skis. Some people will tell you nobody can control them, least of all the folk who wear them. Then if you pronounce skis as lots do —with the first two letters shished, as m fchips—you will find them identical in sound with something that even a Btate department would be wise to Iblqach at, rathw than Attempt any (fcontrol.