ELECTIONEERING

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXX, Issue 21579, 25 August 1933, Page 18

ELECTIONEERING

BY FRANK H. BODLE

It was Iho proud boast of Dick Transome, proprietor of tho Motutangi Times, that his papor had never missed an issue. Of course, it was not always out on the tick of tho clock; it was bound by no such slavish conventions as its namesakes of London and New York. But it always caino out, oven though once —through a misunderstanding about an unpaid account and a consequent temporary paper shortage—it was two days lato in its usual weekly appearance. That paper crisis was now ancient history, overcome and forgotten some 15 months back. Ihe. paper was now prosperous, with some 50s in the bank, and nearly all the quarter's accounts in tho post. Dick Transome, on his upturned kerosene box, sat in his editorial office polishing off tho final batch of lo one quarter's advt," and " r lo printing 500 bill-heads." Sitting there in the spring sunlight in his shirt sleeves, Dick was well satisfied with that state of life to winch Providence and his own genius hacl called him. Ho liked his job, and his neighbours, and they liked him. Ihe paper was out for that week, and it had caught almost all the mails. There was a knock at the street entrance and, without waiting for invitation, the door was flung wide open and a dozen men marched m. Dicks eyes kindled. He didn't know what they wanted, but not many newspapers could draw so reprcscntatn e a group of the prominent citizens of their district. Tim Sullivan, chairman of the town board, stepped forward from his escort of storekeepers, farmers, null-workers and railway construction men. " Dick, me lad," he began heartily, " Oi've been asked to ixtend ye an invito from tho peoplo av this district to stand for Parlyment. Our prisint member is not a bad onld codger, but he's the wrong colour. An' " —he turned to his co-deputation-ists —'" will ye show me a new post office or even a now school he s had planted in the place. Divil a wan, an whin the railway works was stopped did he have them started again? He did not. 'Twas Dickie Transome went to Wellington and got the wheels av industry an' the picks an' shovels revolvering again. So, seeing there s to be an iliction, we've come to ask ye, Dickie, to contest the sate. Every mother's son this ind av the 'lectorato will vote for yez, or there'll be murder done. An' thin, me bhoys "—Tun turned to his supporters— if we don't get a new post office every week an' more bridges to the mile than any part av New Zealand, not to mention a State grant fer a new town hall, 'twill only be becoz Dickie Transome has been struck dumb be disease." Jerry Bolton, of the rail construction works, open-shirted and hairychested, clumped forward. He had once been chairman of a presentation found for the prospective member, and felt he still had a certain amount of responsibility to tho newspaper man, since the funds had been mislaid at the nearest hotel. " Mr. Transome," said this worthy very earnestly, " we're all with you; we'll all vote for you. If some of the boys don't vote for you at least twice I'll be mighty disappointed in them." Dick Transome shoved his box to one side and faced his friends blithely. Lesser men might have paused a moment for reflection —but that wasn't Richard's way. " Good enough, boys," he declared joyfully. " I'll give it a go. Those double votes'll all be needed, too, for old Hawtrey gets a block vote at tho other end of this electorate. I'll put my back into this and you'll all have to shove behind. Better form a committee right here and get busy. I'll tell you this —if you do put me in, this district will sprout new public buildings thicker'n cabbages in old Miss Lovell's back garden." That was how Dick Transome came to take the public platform on behalf of the great People's Party. As bo was well known to the leader and a prominent Cabinet Minister had presented to him a substantial token of esteem on behalf of admiring fellowcitizens, Dick Transome had no difficulty whatever in securing tho party endorsement.

He took the warpath in a new grey suit that settled tho overdue advertising account of the local tailor. At first there seemed every indication of a walk-over. The northern end of the seat was unanimously and vocally proTransome. Men, women and children shouted themselves hoarse at his meetings. They heard him with enthusiasm and cheered him with heartiness. He was Dick Transome, the man they all knew and who knew them all, just the sort of chap to make things buzz in Parliament.

The noise of this cheering drifted down to the lowlands at the south end of the electorate, where lived a different generation, who knew not Richard. This was Hawtrey's country, where tho big landowners dwelt. These last were annoyed naturally, but not alarmed. It was rather extraordinary that there should be such a hullabaloo aboiit this unknown Transome —but he'd soon be put in his place when he came to play the demagogue on the people of the plains. Dick Transome mounted his bay horso and rode lone-handed into tho enemy's country, with a schedule of meeting dates and two or three speeches. He wasn't nervous—no good advertising man is over that—but ho did expect to moot some troublo when question time came. It was a tricky spring morning of sun and showers as Transome came down into tho lowlands. Ho was 30 miles from whore anyone knew him and swelteringly hot in his oilskin. A tall stranger on a raking black horse cantered from a side road and pulled up abreast of Transome. " Morning," said he, unfastening his black oilskin. " Going in to Firkin to hoar this fellow Transome?"

"I might," Dick answered cheer-, fully. " They say he's worth hearing." "Bunkum!" The stranger ranged up alongside Dick. " Just a blooming windbag. But he'll meet his Waterloo to-night, I bet you." "What makes you think that?" Dick asked curiously.

" I don't think—l know. This skit'er who thinks ho can run against our Bill Hawtrey is going to learn something to-night. You better bo there." " I will, if I can." Dick filled his pipe and passed his poneh to the other. "Wo got to stand together," the man in the black coat went on. "Me being chairman of the school committee here, it's my duty to show up this ignorant Transomo coon, so I got a list of questions"—ho tapped his breast significantly—" that's going to knock the everlasting stuffing out of the meddlin' fool."

" That's the spirit," Dick declared geniallv. "Let's have a look at flint, list of yours. Maybe I could help you with a few more questions to tie him into a knot. T know a hit about Transome."

" Good man." Delightedly the stranger gripped Dick's hand and shook it warmly. " You hot we'll look the list over, and if you can help roast the skunk,.good on you. What I says is it's the duty of us farmers to stick together and smash anyone who runs against Bill Hawtrey. Pull up under this tree and T'll show you what T wrote."

" —Urn —um. That first one's a pood 'nn. An', my word, po's the next. An' this otlier one. Ought to double him up. "Wait I'll read it through again."

A NEW ZEALAND STORY

( COPYRIGHT)

" That's tho sorb of thing I like," tho stranger agreed warmly. " You're a fellow after 1110 own heart. You take trouble an' use your head." " It's re*al!y good," Dick declared, after a second reading. " He'll never stand up to that. Never. But s'posing, for tho sako of argument ho should, how about asking why lie deserted the wife and four children in tho South Island."

" Lovely! " Tho stranger threw back his head and laughed tremendously, then sobered suddenly. " You sure that's a fact," ho demanded hungrily.

" Well," Dick weighed his words, " I s'poso I know moro about Mr. Dick Transome than any person in this electorate. I was brought up in the same place down South." " Look here, you've got to come to the meeting t'night," Black Coat stated. " We'll give him beans. The impidence of a cove like that thinking ho could run against our Bill Hawtrey. You got to come. D'you know any moro about him? Anythink I could ask out loud in public? " " Well," Dick spoko slowly. " You might ask if ho likes it up hero better than in a South Island gaol." " How long? " Black Coat whispered hoarsely. " Three months," Dick whispered back. " Three months for theft." " Gosh, you don't say. What'd he steal? " " Well he's a printer y'know," Dick explained. " So I heard," Black Coat replied, in a tone that suggested this was nothing to Transome's crodit. " But what'd he steal? " " Well, tho printers where he worked were having' a celebration," Transome went on easily. " An' they made a glorious great pie. Young Transome was left alone with it and " Dick lowered his voice—" ho got away with it somehow. The S.M. said, considering his mates had made it, it was one of the meanest actions he'd known. Ho got three months all right." " Good enough for the dog." Black Coat spoke exultantly. " We'll hogtie him for that, I tell you. Got to turn off here to see my brother-in-law. No, I won't ferget the wife he deserted either." " And I'll remember those tough ones you thought out," Dick promised. " Seeing how you've got me interested I'll bo there at the meeting. I'll see you there." * • • » ♦ *

Dick spent a busy afternoon and evening. Before he entered Firkin Hall that night, by the back way, ho had so altered his speech that he had completely and finally answered every one of the questions on Black Coat's list. Ho sat by the table going over his notes as the people came in. " This, ladies and gents," the chairman announced apologetically, " is Mr. Transome, one of the candidates. I hear he's to have his skin taken off and tanned at question time —but give him a fair spin till then." Dick stood up and came forward into the bright light. As he did a man in a black oilskin marched in through the door and with determination and assurance in every movement strode to the very front. Then, balefully, he took his first contemptuous look atjthe man on the platform—and his jaw fell. His eyes dilated; ho collapsed on the form beside him, still staring at the candidate. . The meeting itself waß orderly in the extreme. There wasn't much enthusiasm, but there were no interruptions. Everybody seemed to bo waiting for the promised devastation of question timo. " Must say you've been mighty good,''" the chairman said at length. " Now it's question time and —well I'm jiggered." Slowly, head bent, Black Coat rose and marched out without a word. At the door, with a last flare of spirit, he turned and shook his fist at tho man on tho stage. #•*»«»*

Mainly because some of those who had promised to vote for him several times failed to keep their word, Dick Transome did not top the poll though he did well enough for a first attempt. Ho returned once more to his paper and his own peoplo. In time he put aside thoughts of the political arena and most of the people he had fought were forgotten. , Then, a year later, since Dick had proved himself a live candidate and would certainly run again, he received a wire from the Minister who had once been his employer: " Meet mo tomorrow noon at Firkin," the slip said and once more Dick took the trail. It was salo day in tho township and farmers from everywhere were busy yarding or inspecting sheop. Exactly on timo the Minister drove up to the hotel door and stepped out. " Good man, Transome," he commended. " Haven't long to wait here, but I want to say a few words to these people. You might get them together here for mo right away, will you." Dick dashed over to the saleyards. He bullied one, persuaded another and finally had tho satisfaction of seeing a general move toward the hotel verandah. Ho was about to follow himself when lie noticed one man in a sheep pen, who had entirely disregarded the invitation.

Dick strolled briskly toward the stranger who was busy appraising wool and meat values on the hoof. " There's a little informal —" he began pleasantly and then stopped as ho met the savage glare in the other's eyes.

" You go to tho dovil," the stranger growled. " But why? " Dick asked reasonably. " It's tho Minister, you know. He wants to —"

" Get out, you rat-facod ink-slinger, before I push yer ugly faeo in." The stranger leant across the railing of the pen. " D'you hear me? Got out before I make yer."

"You've got me rattled." Dick stared at the other's flushed face helplessly. "Far's I know I've never seen you, before. Yet because I ask you to seo tho Minister, you fly at. me. What's the answer? "

" I'll tell you." The stranger spoke with deadly calm. "We mot before all right." Ho choked a littlo. " When you was running for Parliament —and got a squint at my questions." "Oh, ho! So that's tho trouble." Dirk's hrow cleared. " 1 didn't know you without tho oilskin. Rut that's all over now, you know. Your man won—and I've no hard feelings about it. Can't see why you should have either."

"Don't you?" The stranger'?) tone was grim. " Well I'll tell you an' p'haps then you'll clear to Hongkong out of this. I'm tho chairman of tho School Committee. " I remember you told me that — under the puriri tree," Dick interjected. " Well, that committee used to do just as I said," tho stranger went on dourly. " Never a kick out of it whatever T done. But now—"

" What's happened to 'em? " Dick inquired with interest.

" Now whenever I tries to get a bit o' my own way, they act like a team of baulky horses." The stranger spoke with extreme bitterness. " They make 1110 lifo a misery. And any time I do show spunk the curs just sit back an' say, ' Now then, Jim, we'll set Dickie Transomo oil yer track Mil You get out before I plug you."