VOICES FROM THE GODS

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXX, Issue 21467, 15 April 1933, Page 3 (Supplement)

VOICES FROM THE GODS

HUMOUR,, IN THE THEATRE PLAYERS AND AUDIENCES UNREHEARSED INCIDENTS The voice from the gallery is not so active in the theatre to-day as it was at one time, but it has been responsible for some classic laughs, especially in heavy melodrama. When a version of "Monte Cristo" was produced at the Adelphi—says Mr. John Aye, in a collection of amusing stage stories,-entitled " Humour in the Theatre"—the play dragged badly. At length the curtain rose on a darkened , -bedroom in which an old man sat beside a bed, with a lighted candle. " I say, mister," shouted one of the gods in the ominous silence, " we're not keeping you up, are we?" Arthur Roberts was once persuaded to take part in a romantic play with j I'lorence St. John, and came on in the likeness of the starving poet, Chatterton. The audience, however, preferred Arthur Roberts the comedian. " Chuck Jt, Arthur, old sport," came a voice from the gallery, " and put a bit of -red on your nose, me lad." A rapt audience watched, with bated breath, the plight of the heroine. Deserted bv her lover, cast off by her family, dogged by the villian, she was at her last extremity. " I must end it all, " she wailed, " I must indeed end it all: but where can I buy poison?" 'lon try the bar of this theatre, inissie," came a voice from the gods. The final word is not always with the audience. A fit-up manager who had experienced a very bad season made his meagre audience a farewell speech, " I flflve to thank you one and all," he said, " for the noble way in which you have rallied to this—er— Temple of •inespis. I thank you for the kind manner in which you have patronised O'Jr efforts." Then, after a moment's hitter reflection,• he added: "But, God help me, if I had opened a season on the Goodwin Sands, I should have had more support from the shipwrecked sailors." The vanity of actors and actresses is Proverbial. A young actress who had been brought out of obscurity by Tree began to insist on being billed in larger type. " I want," she said, "to bo announced thus,-' Sir Herbert Tree and Miss X.' " " Yes, my dear child," retorted Tree, " but why 'and '? Why not ' but '?" Another' classic retort was to a somewhat illiterate Cockney comedian who told Sir Herbert: "Look here, guv'nor, I shall expect you to bill the ' and ' before my nyme." "Alas! my dear friend," replied Tree. "How can I do so? You know it is ard to give the 'and where the 'art Pan never be." There is a story of a. celebrated actor ' Ho strolled into his club and made for the telephonQ box, leaving the door °Pen so that ho might be overheard. "Hello, hello." he began, "is that you, Mr. (naming a manager high ] n the theatrical world). Good, T got . Vf >ur letter ibis morning, but £IOO a }veek is no good to me. You'll make it £150? No, £2OO is my price, not a Penny less. You agree to £200? Very *®H, I'll come round to-morrow and B, 'pn the contract. Good-bye." beamed on. the listening cuowd. At that moment, the club secretary entered the room. " Excuse me, sir," he said, " hut that/ telephone has been out of | order since yesterday. We're expecting * man in to see to it shortly."