LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXX, Issue 21462, 8 April 1933, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

BV MEUCUTIO

An' accountant declares that the batting average achieved in New Zealand by W. R. Hammond, as expressed in cricket records, is not scientifically accurate. To say that Hammond had an average of 563 in New Zealand test cricket was not correct. If that is so, it just shows that wrong methods wero used to deal with this Gloucestershire gentlemah. Instead of changing the bowlers as often and as hopefully as possible, the New Zealand captain should have turned an accountant on to him.. If Hammond comes back to JCew Zealand again to play—and ivho of those who saw him bat but will hopo that he does? —it may bo worth while trying to talk him out of it instead of trying to bowl him out. In cricket New Zealand should bo prepared to try anything oncej and they've tried bowling at him. It is an entirely irrelevant sequel by the way, but in so far as Hammond seems heir-at-law to Hobbs as the greatest English batsman, he puts up a problem to the rhymsters who used to write jingles about the great J. 8.. For example, oue of Punch's poets, at the time when Hobbs was producing centuries with almost monotonous regularity, wrote some verses with the refrain :

Can nothing be done for J. B. Hobbs. To make him go out sometimes for blobs? It is a neat and pretty poetic fancy; but try to substitute W. R. Hammond, and where are you?

An eminent Auckland medical man has been discussing the eating habits of the people, his views being generously flavoured with advice. Ho considered the subject from the scientific dietary standpoint, of course. There ■were no instructions about balancing peas on a knife or any reference to habits of that kind. From the evidence of his lecture this gentleman seems to think that, except for their habit of eating too much, at improper intervals, and in the wrong proportions the dietary practices of the pedple are fair enough. He also has something to say which, inferentially, is not complimentary to the cooks. Experts are inclined to insist that the value of many foodstuffs is destroyed by cooking. We all know the flavour often is, but that is not what they mean. The idea is that if you want to get the real value of these foods it is necessary to eat them as nature made them and without cooking. It would be a bit difficult if coconuts happened to be on the bill of fare; it may be modern weakness to prefer them peeled, but most people do. Anyway this medical gentleman said that the digestive organs were still not adapted to modern culinary experiments. Perhaps in a few million years they would be. It is very nice to have an assurance like that. And if time shows that it is correct, Mercutio for one undertakes to give him full credit for having forecasted it accurately.

v There seems to be some difference of opinion, luckily not serious, about changing the method of voting in the municipal elections. A tone of regret at not being allowed to scratch out the names of tho rejected has been heard, and it is not entirely a faint tone either. There's a lot of human nature in it when you come to consider the thing. Under the old dispensation you scratched out the aspirants you did not want to see returned, and, as has been remarked, you could put a lot of energy into doing it if you felt so disposed. There was, of course, the danger of wearing out the ballot paper by putting too much enthusiasm into this process; /and returning officers are absurdly fussy about giving you another one, even in such circumstances. Possibly they don't like having their numbering system upset. They may even suspect you of taking too literally the old admonition to vote early and often. Apart from this risk there was quite a chance of getting some satisfaction out of voting.

The nevy order requiring that you put a cross against those folk you are voting for has not the same possibilities in it. True a cross is a well-known symbol of affection much used in intimate correspondence. But even if you do think John Bloggs might be less pernicious on the council than Henry Horsecollar, that does not necessarily mean you feel affectionately disposed toward him. The whole issue fines down to the question whether voters are more concerned about preventing some people from being elected than about helping others to be. Human nature being what it is, and the general temper of the community being considered, it is likely that the scratches have it over the crosses by a very substantial majority.

This is the season for the preparation of returns of income, upon which taxation will be due next February. Among the host of people whose income is salary or wages, the general practice is to multiply the weekly amount and then carefully record every possible concession—allowance for children, insurance, unemployment taxes, and now, for those, qualified to do so, £SO for a ■wife. On this occasion those who receive their piy envelopes on Fridays must, as taxpayers of scrupulous science, remprnber that the year ended March ."31, 1933, contained fifty-three Fridays, and multiply by that number instead of by the number of weeks in the year. This extra pay-day in a year will not occur again until 1938-39, but the present financial year will have fifty-three Saturdays for those who draw their envelopes on the last of the week.

= 11 Say if; with flowers," claimed to be the original version ol the motto or slogan, was .first improved by the amendment " Say it with music—flowers fade." Since then the variations have teen infinite. An Auckland parent claims for his son the latest, most practical and most momentarily appropriate Method of " saying it." For last weekend he saw the young man, bound for the homo of the lady of his choice, bearing as gifts three schnapper, nicely scaled" and cleaned, and a bag of kuniaras. The artists and the architects °f this country have, been advised to go to Maori life and art for inspiration if they wish to strike a note distinctively ftew Zealand. At least one of New Zealand's great lovers seems to have hit pn the same idea without any prompting. The father says that in his young days he was guilty of offering chocolates and flowers to a lady, or even perhaps to several ladies, but ho never thought of .fish and kumaras as a variant. Perhaps times were not so hard when he did his courting. Anyway, this original scheme suggests! still another version of the " Spy it with " motto. Let it become " Say it with schnapper—but be prompt, or they'll": speak for-them-•ftUrec."