"OH, CLARENCE!"

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXIX, Issue 21248, 30 July 1932, Page 4 (Supplement)

"OH, CLARENCE!"

BY M.E,K. Mr. Booster was seated on a box in his yard, one leg crossed over th.% other, smoking a pipe and brooding darkly over his wrongs. Even his usually beautiful red plumage looked dull, whilst his tail feathers drooped dismally on the ground. Only that very morning, three cheeky White Leghorn pullets in the adjoining run had thrust- out their tongues at him in a . jeering manner and had called out, " Ya, boo! Ginger, Ginger the stick stick stinger; who got his eye blackened? Who had bis tail pulled ? Ya, boo! " It was intolerable! To be railed Ginger " —" Ginger "! Ho ruffled his deep red feathers angrily, Thoro came a fierce gleam in his eye. He'd show them! He'd knock that cock-a-loop bounder White Leghorn into tho dust so he would! lie roiled down his torn and bedraggled sock and gazed ruefully at his bruised and blood-bespattered leg. Just then a shadow fell across his foot and looking up sharply he beheld George, a fellow Rhode rooster, grinning madly behind his: claw at the woebegone spectacle before him. "Well? growled out the battlescarred Clarence, " I'm glad you're amused, young fellow." An involuntary snigger broke from George, which he endeavoured unsuccessfully to turn into a cough. "I was just coming with some ointment for your wounds,'' he explained; saying which he plunged a claw, into r pocket of the blue dungaree overalls he was wearing and handed Clarence a small tin. " Thank you. That was kind of you," said Clarence, glancing; suspiciously nevertheless at George for any further signs of merriment. Up to this, GeOrge and the others had always been a bit in awe of Clarence because of his domineering ways. George helped Clarence to dab ointment on his wounds and bind them up, uttering sympathetic noises the while, and presently the pair depaited indoors to have a nap. You see, all the trouble arose from Clarence boasiting he had never been beaten in a fight, and the White Leghorn rooster next door had immediately challenged fiim to a fight in whiich Clarence was beaten badly. The next day, still thinking over thing?. Clarence suddenly hit on a plan. He would go into training and get George or one of the others to act as a sparring partner whilst he practised jumping at him and getting in a new bsick kick he had just thought of and so on. (Very nice for George and Co., this is going to be, isn't it?) No sooner thought of than acted upon. | He sent one of the hens round tft old Granpa Orpington's to buy a tiny grind- Q stone on which he sharpened his "£pnrs. He spent a week training, during which I time he registered- more than one direct hit on George's optics, causing one to swell up considerably and the other to half-close, giving' the usually cheerfullooking George a strangely leering appearance. „ • The challenge to fight was duly sent to and accepted by the Leghorn rooster and a day was set. Such excitement! All the Leghorn and Rhode hens were busily employed making new frocks for the occasion—such squabblings and arguments went on that they quite upset Great Grandma Leghorn's nerves causing her to have a fit of hysterics during which she nearly swallowed a whole packet of pins.. The great day dawned at last, clear and bright! As the Leghorns had the larger yard, it was decided by both parties to hold tha fight there. A ring was made and extra perches were placed round it. All the old hens were given the best places—the front perches—and there very early they all came clad in their best lace caps and each with,her knitting or crochet. But the back perches—what a twittering and giggling went on there, -- discussing each other's clothes and so on. Presently the principals were seen iriak- " ing their way into the ring. Silence reigned for a brief moment whilst all eyes were fixed on. Clarence's shining spurs, his short black pants, sleeveless cream jersey • and running shoes. The leghorn, had on % -r pair of rolled up dirty white pants and old grey shirt open at the neck, the wboln costume bemir decidedly in need of repair. A nervous giggle broke the silence, and the majestic Clarence glanced sharply in the direction of a grand Rhode Island hen, but she with wonderful presence of mind turned upside down on the perch so that only her toes were visible. " Well, old chap—come for another hiding have you? " thus the Leghorn cheerily addressing Clarence. " On guard," fiercely retorted Clarence.' Then they were at it ! After a few preliminary dancings up and down in the same place,, they both leapt into the air and returned to' earth with quick jab of beak and spur. It was here Clarence got in his new back kick with such good effect that i:. caught one of -the numerous tears in the Leghorn's shirt and tore it completely off him. At this unseemly spectacle Grandma Rhode fainted dead awav and had to bo taken down from the perch and propped up in a shady corner to recover. The Leghorn was provided with another shirt and they went at it again! The Leghorn now seemed to be getting the better of it, timing his pecks and kicks with great accuracy. Clarence received a kick full on tho beak which turned it sideways a little and gave him a very comical appearance. Time was then called and thev rested whilst mugs of inaizo and wheat were placed before them. During the second part of the light, excitement reigned supreme, \oung roosters stood up on tho back perches craning their necks so as not to miss anything. Clarence now got to work with his keen and sharp spurs, and rooted out a whole bunch of Sir. Leghorn s tail leathers. The Leghorns seethed with concentrated loathing and Grandpa Leghorn called out in a quavering voice, " Give it to him. Bite him on tho neck." . Tho Leghorn retaliated with a quickside kick which tore one whole seam of Clarence's pants open making them into a sort of skirt. . . , , " Look at Clarence's kilts, gigglf-i Grandpa Leghorn. Tho dignified Clarence was much upset at these "and other remarks, and his eye flashed in anger. Jumping suddenly iu the air, he caught the Leghorn at a disadvantage and jumping on his back was soon pecking hiin unmercifully. The occupants of tho perches rose to their feet as one fowl, and cheered or jeered according to whether their favourite was on top or underneath. Suddenly there was a sound of rending and tearing and several of the upper perches broke in two. What a shrieking and squawking went on then! In tfie very middle of the uproar, suddenly there was a shout of " here comes the farmer! " Immediately, all the chookies dispersed to their own pens with such rapidity that a very surprised farmer was left doubting his own senses and wondering whether he hadn't dreamt that he had heard a frightful hubbub in the poultry yard..