LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXVIII, Issue 20988, 26 September 1931, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

Wb ' by mekccho.

X lie summoned suddenly to the ootmciia of the nation entailed on gentlemen in Wellington this week necessity of .producing silk hats to occasion. They did not all find j an cccas * on rn:i<^e famous by 3 member of a British Government protested that Ministers could not rabbits out of a top hat. In New apparency. Ministers find it jo produce top hats out of the empty lit ne^t ' t3 ' er P*' lce 111 been thought *° ca '' ' n t^ie serv '' ces of the of Magicians. The difficulty in was overcome by the simple jjDsfenfc ot " borrowing, a process with Tr&fcit Cabinets of the past have been €icee dinglj familiar, though they are joe likely to have -the same "extended opportunities of practice in the immediate future. By such means the difficulties rg overcome, and all ended happily. Qnlr one point remains to note. One gentleman, minus a silk hat, could not jgvs his want supplied by purchase because he could not find a size to fit him. ■jje inference is all available specimens were too small: for a hat that is too large can be made to fit adequately by judicious padding. There have been times when a Minister starting his career with a head of normal size .suffered the enlargement cf it. Little danger of that exists now. Qtiite the contrary, in fact. So a man who eonid not find a hat to fit him at the outjet inay have little difficulty after being t Minister for a time.

The Marine Department- has been asked Ist an Auckland medical mail not to close the ovster season because there is a good deal oi influenza about and oysters, he iavs, are good for influenza patients. It is natural to suppose that, holding such views, he prescribes oysters for his inI gnenza patients. What a pity the rnles of the B.M.A. prevent bis name being published with his request and his gciaioo. A lot of people would like to know who thai doctor is. Even if they iiven's got influenza, they wouid be pad to know so that they might send i'or him ca the first, approach of a temperature. It is tcy be hoped the suggestion is adopted by the department, so that those who have influenza may also have evsters. Tb"y are entitled to some compensation. The opportunity, if missed 'bow, mav never occur again. For by next oyster season, supposing there is still influenza about —everyone hopes there Trent be —medical science may have made gnch gigantic strides that this same doctor may forbid his patients to touch cr even to look at an oyster on any consideration. Meantime, if the oyster s season ct rest is actually postponed, iwill be established that though oysters 4T9 good for influenza, mnuenza is not good for oysters.

Ataedical witness in the Supreme Court has been discussing tne question howS far an el<fedy man can reach toward the floor without bending his knees. The witness himself, though over 60, said ho couid place tbd p2ms of his hands on <-be ground. If so, he could presumably *' skin tie cat,' another popular test for agility. But, after all, the ability to do these' bending and stretching exercises surely depends on other things besides age: girth, for instance. The man who can't see his toes when he stands erect can scarcely be expected to touch them as ha bends over. This disppearance of the toes, like the disappearance of the hair, sometimes happens comparatively eariv in life. It may be for some unknown constitutional reason, it may be the result of assiduously cultivated and probably expensive habits. In one way tne retention of abiiity to do these things usually associated with :he lissomeness of youth is something the elderly may be proud of, quite innocently and legitimately. On the ocher ,hand. it may have some tearing on his ancestry. It is said certain of the anthropoid apes can place their knuckles on the ground without bending their knees —or their bodips either.

Through the marvellous development of the radio-telephone it is now possible—itatic permitting—for New Zealanders to talk with people in Germany, Belgium cr Holland. All that is necessary is for the price to be found and some person in one of thes6 countries to be discovered who can understand and be understood by a New Zealander. If foreigners won id not persist in their tiresome habit ot speaking their own language, but all learn English, the,whole thing would be very simple. It is true, according to some authorities, the world is showing a very pleasing disposition to make English the universal language. A very good thing, too. it indicates a proper regard for the beauties and the importance of the great, mother tonxue; besides, what an immense amount of trouble it promises to save those who are brought up to speak it. Incidentally, it recalls an incident in journalistic history of long ago. It was in the dog days for news, and Rejects for comment were scarce. So a. certain countrv paper in New Zealand fell Wk on a good old stock topic —Russia of the Tsars. The leading article opened, We solemnly warn the Tsar." Now there is no Tsar, but there is still a King of the Belgians. Anybody reeling disposed to dr. so" would not need to wri'e shout it. He could ring up and solemnly *arn the Kin? of the Belgians by word of mouth.

Tiraaru is promised the prospect ot proTiding the site for a rubber factory that "ay be established in this country. According to an expert, th» chief requirements are low rafs. cheap electrical Power and a plentiful supply of artesian **ter. Also, unless rumour lies, insensitive noses in the neighbours. That is an Expert suggestion.

to the ni-ij times. people, it 15 | a id, are wearing their boots and shoes **B« before taking them to be repaired, ihey are also. according to a popular preacher, wearing their faces longer, but tb * of" that defect is in their 'Unhands, or their own minds and hearts. s £ " or the footwear, it is a natural irnP&ise to keep on and keep on, despite a that is growing ever lower or a sola a wtdijobg hole in it; tor to have le pairs made necessitates producing ready ~®h. and ready cash is not nearly so asijy produced as one could wish. Still. is a great mistake. The most natural j®pulae in the world is to defer visiting c dentist as long as possible, only to /in the end that .he tooth, beyond recorr*e out. The same thing happen wirh. boots or shoes, and the •-*rding of them is almost as painful y as the extraction of a tooth, substitutes have to be found, paid i>and then broken in, ail involving loss tune and energy and the outlay of the cest of all commodities to-day. Real j™<Mence and true economy would call for *Peedy resort to the bootmaker before : «ak ama 8 e w ent too far. But it is ditft- * »to exercise even such virtues as these *;•«<& times.