LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXVII, Issue 20668, 13 September 1930, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

BY MERCUTIO.

Tho Ministerial head of the Publicity Department has made an elaborate statement to demonstrate that, despite a reduc- / tion in its voto, its activities will not be curtailed. In fact, it is going to bo moro active than over, an argument in favour of general departmental retrenchment that tho advocates of economy should not overlook. The Minister also says an enorgetic campaign to stimulate tho tourist traffic will bo launched in Australia within tho next few weeks. Tho tirno and the placo seom unusually appropriate, considering all the stories Leing told about conditions in tho Commonwealth. Many Australians would liko to escapo to this country for a season, no doubt. Only tho minor problem of ways and means deters them. Yes, it is ft go-ahead and enterprising department all right, tho Publicity Department. Speaking of Australia, by tho way, despite invidious comparisons in other directions, Sydney has scored one over Auckland, remembering tho engineering controversies that have raged in tho two countries. They havo not had to import an expert from overseas to prove that tho harbour bridge met in tho middle.

A brit-i sad comment h*s come from g correspondent about tho way Auckland greeted the captain and crew of tho Penybryn with kind words, and nothing elso. The comment is: "The captain said thoy expected nothing fortunately."

Iu consequence of penstock tunnels being completed before tho corresponding turbines are required two jet-disper-sers of unusual type aro being acquired for Arapuni. Tho authorities now need to discover a couple of rumour and mystery dispersers, and the general situation will improve at once.

A bit of an argument has developed over the proper way to kill a cat. It is proverbial that there aro several ways of doing this, but nobody has yet been heard advocating or even endorsing what the proverb seems to suggest is the orthodox method choking it with cream. The cost of living can perhaps be blamed for tho omission.

" The Council of the New Zealand 'Academy of Fine Arts at its meeting yesterday placed on x-ecord its .high appreciation of the long and devoted services to art in Wellington of Dr. Walter Fell, a retiring member." A complete denial of the old couplet.

1 do not like thee, Dr. Poll: The reason why I cannot tell,

A public man is required in his time to play many parts. There was nothing out of character, therefore, in having the Prime Minister appear before the camera and microphone just before he left for the Imperial Conference. He is not even the first Prime Minister to have done this, though he may be the first in New Zealand; for just "after he formed his present Cabinet Mr. Ramsay Mac Donald helped to make a sound film, appearing himself and introducing his colleagues. It was said to have been a revelation to manv professionals when they were first able" to see and hear themselves at work. It may even have humbled some of them, making them resolve to be better actors in future. If .there is any hope in that, tho practice of filming and recording politicians might be extended. It would be a good instance of making the punishment fit the crime to condemn some of them to listen to their own speeches. Rut it would involvo wasting a deal of good film.

The latest returns show that New Zealand possesses 1,440,321 dairy cows, or not eo far from one for every man, womani and child in these islands. As for sheep, there are about twenty per head of the population. Suppose the old-fashioned type of reformer who recommended an equal division of all property as tho starting point for a new social order had his way, what a nice situation would arise. The flat-dweller, for instance, would be hard put to dispose of one cow, let alone twenty sheep. With pigs it would be different. There is not even half a pig a head. If, therefore, the division resolved itself into presenting everyone with a nice piece of pork, or a side of bacon, not many would object. But it is better that the flocks should increase and multiply under their present proprietorship.

There is no doubt about spring being here. The stories of trees bursting into leaf, producing blossom, or otherwise behaving in a sprightly and optimistic "way are evidence of a sort. Then several people report having heard the shining cuckoo, known as the pipiwharauroa, to those who are able to pronounce and spell this name. This is usually considered an infallible sign. But after all, these in themselves are not quite enough. How can wo be sure spring is here ? No notice need bo taken of the astronomical peoplo who will murmur something here about the sun entering this constellation or that, or make sotto voco remarks about the vernal equinox; as if that had anything to do with it. No, there have been gales, floods, frosts, and storms; snow is lying in unusual places. Cold snaps in various districts are causing considerable anxiety to sheep-farmers, who are thinking of ewes and lambs. These are the signs by which wo may know that balmy spring is with us.

Traffic in one of Wellington's spacious boulevards, to wit, Manners Street, was held up for 20 minutes the other day by an unusual accident. The driver of a motor-van was foolish enough to try lo slip between a tram-car and a motorcar standing parked by tho kerb-side. As a result, the three became locked, so that it took some time, a good deal of trouble, and no doubt, a spico of language, to extricato them. We often hear of a traffic jam; this surely was tho perfect example of one.

Tho 'efforts to interest motor drivers ■vrho may have designs on speed records on tho Ninety-Milo Beach as a suitable place to risk their necks, arc hampered liy certain difficulties. There seems to ho a tendency to confuse it with other stretches of sand not to bo compared with il, for the purpose. If, however, it was made perfectly clear that the Ninety-Mile Beach is a good deal less than ninety miles long, that should be a starting point toward its rnoro complete identification. Besides, there is nothing better in these instances than the proper association of ideas. Has duo use been made of the toheroa in this business? Maps and moving pictures are all very well, but if those who are proclaiming the qualities of tho beach would only go armed with a tin of toheroas, they would give their converts-to-be some thing definite, to remember it by. True the toheroa is not peculiar to this beach, hut it is generally associated with it. •At worst, it' a taste for toheroa soup was cultivated by tho speedsters they might come looking for the Ninety-Mile Beach with more enthusiasm than if the more breaking of records was at stake.