MARRIAGE.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXV, Issue 19986, 30 June 1928, Page 6 (Supplement)

MARRIAGE.

EX EDNA GRAHAM MACKY. 'ilife there any perfectly liappy marriages ? Are married couples more unhappy to-day than in the "good old times" ? What is the greatest cause of maritai unhappiness ? Is marriago ceasing to be a workable proposition ? These are some of the questions that come to mind after we have left behind our fairy tale days, when we all believed implicitly that the prince and princess would "live happily ever afterwards." It is not ,that we have lost our sense Of romance or become cynical with # g e —but anyone with eyes in his head cannot help seeing thai- all is not well jn the "Garden of Eden." Wherever there is an Adam and Eve. 'no matter how divinely paired, there is sure to be a serpent. It' may not be a very large 01* a very poisonous one, but under a fragrant rose tree or in a plot < >f heavenly forget-me-nots, or even coiled round the trunk of the Tree of Life, itself, there will be found a reptilian form of some description. The worm of thoughtlessness, destroying insidiously the rosebud of affection: the, snake 'of -poverty, creating fear and distrust, and frightening love awav; the cobra of jealousy, ready to strike a death blow; the boa ronstrictor of selfishness and lust, crushing oni all life that comes in its way—ail these ceatures take up their abode in beautiful gardens. Just as there is no earthlv garden free from snails, slugs, worms, caterpillars, and blight, so there is no love garden without Dangerous parasites. Because we admit that the married state is not perfect, that is no reason why it should be abandoned. It would be silly for a gardener to allow his garden to run wild because lie knew there were a lot of pests about, so it would 1 be equally foolish for us to do away with marriage and c;o in for -free love. The pests would be there hist the same, and tlio flowers of affection would deteriorate for want of care and cultivation. Character, of course, underlies all success 111 life, control of our desires, discipline. consideration for others —these go a iong way toward making happy marriages. . -

As for the "good old days" married life then was no more exemplary than it is to-dav. People were less frank in exposing their troubles 4 o the vovld. more timid in demanding their rights, more or less fatalistic in their ideas perhaps, but no better off than we are as far as real happiness is concerned. The selfish husband was tolerated for convention's sake, the drunxen one was looked upon as a divine responsibility, the unfaithful rake was regarded philosophically or paid back in .his own coin, but the human heart ached quite as painfully lons ago as it aches now. we can be sure of. that! After all, it comes back to the attitude of the individual—the laws of marriage may be changed, the bonds loosened fir tightened, divorce made easy or restricted. ns the ease may be, but if our 'dealings f-hh each other are not actuated, In* unselfishness and sincerit'v. there is y-bsolutelv no hope for marital happiness. The gardener must get busy in his garden cr there will be no roses.