GRASS WIDOWERS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXIV, Issue 19808, 1 December 1927, Page 13

GRASS WIDOWERS.

ANOTHER E:RJEF SEASON* REFLECTIONS OF BROWN. ; HUSBANDS A.CQUIRE MERIT. The grass-widowing season is approaching and some observations by Brown on the subjoct may be given for what they are worth. Quite apart from the necessities of the case, he believes that husbands and wives, with whom the children are associated in this matter, ought to be able to endure a holiday separation if for no othei reason than that 12 months of the face of onfo man at the breakfast table is enough and more than enough for the average woman. Brown is inclined to echo the opinion of the coster woman who did not exactly comprehend the meaning of her friend's information that the husband of the new neighbour was one of the "Contempiibles." "All husbands is contempfcibles," replied this discerning woman, and who will deny the justice of her opinion ? Primitive Irutiscts. However, Brown is not bold enough to plunge into the deeper water's of domestic principles. He declines to arrange the private affairs of married people, seeing that there are still quite a few who dedi cate their lives to that gr.eat work. His interest in this question of grass-widowing rests upon nothing but his ludicrous idea that it is well that husbands, every now and again, should be thrown entirely upon their own resources, that they should bo given the opportunity to fend for thpm- . selves, cook food for themselves, and if the spirit so tempts them, to live for a time as barbarians. "All this, he considers, is good for the individual and good for the nation. It is about tha only means of correcting the lush, excessive growth of modern civilisation. Good for the Soul. This attitude of mind is rather difficult to understand, but no amount of arguing will make Brown budge an inch. "If you don't understand what I mean," ho says, "then either you do not want to or you are so hopelessly tangled that you cannot.' Perhaps he is an anachronism, but there it is. He insists that a man acquires merit through a course of "baching," hermi'ising and the like, that the experience increases his general efficiency, enlarges his mind and lowers his bumptiousness. It is not enough, says Brown, that a man should be efficient* in his job, which does not necessarily train him to be a fairly good hand in the job of living, nor Discipline his natural conceits outside thpse zones where they are controlled by the knowledge that they cut no ice. What he waabs is a bit of the solitary domesticity which la the common thing among the men of tha bush and back blocks, and learn something of the secret ot their superiority in the real crises of lii'e. Philosophy and Onions. All this and a lot more issued Spasmodically from Brown while he prepared a meal for himself and his official reporter, it became evident that Brown fancies himself au a cook. It is not to be denied that throughout tho house there was a lingering odour of raw . onion and more than the suggestion of fish. The onion, was easily explained. Brown has the hideous habit when he may please himself oi devouring raw onions, not merely baby onions, which are pleasant enough, bub aiso old-man onions, which burn tha palate and cause excruciating agony in the nostrils. These he will cut with bread and butter and beer for his. lonely supper and seeing that he is liable to drop a piece of the rank vegetable on the kitchen floor and walk on it/ it is not surprising that the "gas" filters through the closed house to meet his return next evening. He propiised his friend a "treat" last evening. He said he was sick of public eating places—most grass widowers reach that state before long—and with a bag full of parcels, said he would make a good, ll Bohemian, feed. The first course was one of what he called "Fiunan haddio" and stewed tomatoes. Why he purchased imported smoked fish to the detriment of local industry one is not aware. He simply said that haddock "was the stuff." Then he produced sausages and fried eggs and beetroot. The beetroot had an anaemic look. Then he brought out cheese and some of his awful onions and a bag of cream buns, which had been slightly crushed. Domestic Science. When they washed up the dishes it became evident that he had used a tremendous number of cooking utensils and that fat had been splashed about rathey recklessly. Brown slipped on one hard-' enea pool of it and so he rubbed the kitchen floor with benzine. Well content, he sprawled himself over two easy chairs, while his friend was invited to sprawl and put his feet up on a swagger sort of lounge, and held forth upon the merit a man acquired in fending for himself, the impudence of politicians who wanted to knock off work before their job was done aad the state of the nation. Brown is not really enjoying the fending, but rather the chance to try. This has nothing whatever to do with liberty so fa> as that term applies to freedom from domestic rules and regulations. What seems to be happening is that primitive instincts are appearing in Brown. A taste of barbarism he is indulging, but it will satiate him bofore his home is back to pleasant normality. At the mo-* ment ha is "impossible."