LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXIII, Issue 19382, 17 July 1926, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

BY SIERCUTIO.

How close the romantic past and the prosaic present aro to one another really! This week there breathed her last a pioneer born in this country before the British (lag waved over it by right. Her birth ante-dated by about three years that oi Aew Zealand as a part of the great British Commonwealth. Stored away in her memory were scenes deeply alien to the life wo contemplate when this age of rush and scurry leaves us time to contemplate anything. Through the pageant stalked -warriors and cannibals, friendly Maoris and hostile; whalers, rough adventurers, runaway sailors, pakeha Maoris, all belonged to the story; missionaries went about their labours in self-forget fulness; the men who laid tho foundations of this country figured in tho phantasy. So there stretched an unbroken lino down to the present, when in the little squabbles, the petty interests and the pinchbeck cares of the day wo forget that ours is a country with a past stirring enough to inspire drama, song and story. To show our appreciation of that imaginative heritage we ignore it almost altogether. To inspire our fancy and stimulate our hours of mental recreation, we accept poetry, fiction, drama, silent or spoken, from every country save our own. Yet some of the most notable incidents of its history happened within the lifetime of people now among us, though the band is swiftly dwindling. But not many compassed such a span of years as the daughter of Old New Zealand who has just passed on.

When the methods and purposes of the Main Highways Board were being discussed by the Farmers' Union one member said the maintenance of main roads was a burning question. Well, there are plenty of roads on which the fire could be quenched anyway.

There was a time when, in the chorus of criticism which fell on the Railway Department, it had the sympathy of those ready to feel for the under-dog, to side with the outcast who had no friends. Since then it has attracted to itself some of the support of those who like a hardy fighter. But if it. is not. careful, it will alienate the lot. It is out to make money and to pay its way. A very good ideal, but there are limits to the methods it ought to use. Take those hoardings down K'nyber Pass. In fact, take them and dump them. It is only what they deserve. They may be very good hoardings, as hoardings. But as subsidiary decorations to the City Council's little plot of grass and little beds of flowers, they arc—well, it is impossible to say what they are without using language such as never should appear in this column. When the first one was put there, ignorance may have been a valid excuse, even though a poor one. Since the City Council protested about it, and since the advertising section of the department is planting another, it is figuratively adopting the method of the nasty, vulgar, small boy who uses his hands to express defiance and contempt; which is no sort of proceeding at all for any section of a great State department, as the Railway Department should instantly admit.

When a vote was taken at the Wellington Synod, members giving tjjeir voices with a will, it was hard to decide whether, the ayes had it, or the noes. An expert gave "it to the noes and proved," on a show of hands, to be right. This was indeed a feat—if the introduction of more anatomical details can be allowed. For, numbers being nearly equal, it is natural for the nose to make more noise than the eves. <

When the fashions for men which blazed out on an astonished world at the great race meeting at Ascot trickle round the world, Queen Street will have to take a firm hold of itself. Roya! blue and silver were the favourite colours, but fortunately they seem to have been reserved for neckties; this is important, because had Young England appeared m royal blue trousers and silver coats, Young New Zealand would have been bound to follow suit—literally. The consequences might have been serious, because, even if horse traffic has diminished, a bolting team might do a lot of damage among the motor-cars that throng the streets. White linen spats, however, were noteworthy by their absence; and a very good way to be noteworthy, too. Out as well as colour displayed innovations. The up-to-date morning coat had a very wide lapel, rolling to one button at the waist-line. The roll seems to have been all above the waist, which says something for the figures of those who wore the coats. All these brilliant fashions, it is said, were displayed " with a courage worthy of professional mannequins." Perhaps so, but in lauding that variety of courage, please do not put the emphasis on the "man."

During the year 1925 cinema films to the number of 1935 were examined by the censor; the resemblance is entirely fortuitous. It does not mean that in 1926 there will be 1936 films unrolled before his weary eyes. It may happen, and again it may not. Anyway, these films, laid end to end, would aggregate 4.666,610 ft., or something over 880 miles. Not that anyone has laid them end to end. It would entail walking too far. A matter of simple arithmetic shows the distance. Of course it would be easy to say that these films would be long enough to reach from Auckland to Wellington, then curl round and come back, perhaps tying a-slip knot round Ruapehu on the way. But what would be the use ? Nobody wants to stretch cinema films from Auckland to Wellington. The attempt would end in the operator getting into an awful tangle as these rolls of celluloid, or whatever is used for films, wrapped themselves round his neck and gathered about his legs. I! any stretch\ ing is necessary in connection with cinema films, it is a stretching of the imagination to make the beholder think that people ever looked like that, or did things like that. Instead of working out geographical comparisons in connection with these 1935 films aggregating 880 miles, it is much simpler to pity the censor and leave it at that.

•\ single-minded patriot who warns iSew Zealand to have a good Agricultural College, and purely by coincidence wants it to" he in Canterbury/, said the other day that it was true £30,000 had been made available bv bequest or donation in the North Island; but this was infinitesimal when compared with what had liefen spent in Canterbury on such ■"•oik. It is known that a fair bit has be«.i spent- down there on an agricultural collego, even if the experts who surveyed University education in New Zealand were not wholly complimentary about the results obtained. It is known too, who spent it. The only thing remaining ',!•* known is who provided it, and in what proportions.

An Austrian singer is of opinion that the race of pedestrians- ought not to become extinct, and to that end has invented a contrivance of indiarubber ropes which will be attached to the front- of cars so that the pedestrian is not run down but " caught softly up without being hurt." Loud applause. Of course, the habit of beinj* caught softly up might become a little irksome at the end of a long day, but the pedestrian must put up with that. And think of the worry the busy motorist will be saved! Fie will be able to tune up in the very thickest places without any real anxiety. Possibly the rubber-rope arrangement could he so de veloped that the pedestrian, when caught, will be tossed gently on to the footpath and enable the'motorist to proceed upon his way without pulling up. If that cannot be managed, the City Council might be persuaded to permit the establishment of pedestrian-discharging stations, provided that would not clash with its decision about the pumps.