LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXIII, Issue 19328, 15 May 1926, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

BY .MEKCTTIO. A paragraph, chronicling the bags of wild duck secured in a certain country district- at the opening of the slmoting season, concludes in all innocence with ~fke statement that the birds were all bhot on the wirui. Duck shooting must be getting diflicitlt when the unobliging creatures refuse to settle so that the sportsman can have a nice steady shot, at' them on the water, with his gun, perhaps, resting on a branch or a stump 0 r something. Ii is reminiscent of the gtorv told al.i'Ut the novice out after driven pheasants, who was about to let flv at a running bird when ho was stopped bv a horrified keeper, who exclaimed. '■ You mustn't fire at a running bird, " Hut the blighter won't stand Still," said tlie sportsman. following the recent display of weather, motorists arc complaining of wash-outs on the roads. Others, less moderate, declare the entire road they traverse to be a wash-out. Certain school teachers in conference have declared the teaching of elementary mathematics to be obsolete, and badly in neeed 'of revision. So next year the pupils who anticipate being taught that two and two make four may have to learn some entirely different result. An American paper, commenting on the workings of the immigration law, under which a New Zealand girl, bride of an American naval officer, was denied admittance to the United States, ends by asking. " ITow can Americans help havinrr a sense of humour?" If they really want to be cured of it, prolonged contemplation of their immigration laws might- do the trick. "The New Zealand railways are miserable. It is impossible to enjoy the lovely country through which they pass owing to the* discomfort of the carriage. The ■ refreshment arrangements are atrocious, feeding time at the Zoo being more respectable." So says a visitor from England, who, it is stated, is interesting himself greatly in/migration, Anyone who felt like "that, would be interested in migration, and careless of destination. When the heart of the Empire is oppressed with troubles grave enough to set the whole world watching, the Secretary of State for the Dominions finds time to "notify New Zealand that henceforth Esthonia is to be spelled Estonia at the special request of the Estonians. It is a message full of cheer and comfort at a time of grave crisis. Relief from apprehensions aroused by the industrial upheaval can be found in counting the amount of ink and time saved by dropping an " hj." Not a commendable process, as a rule, dropping an " hj," but here there is official warranty. It will be a boon and a blessing, /to be remembered with great thankfulness every time the mail leaves for Estonia, if the mail ever does -leave for Estonia.

After having suffered for years the reproach of squander-mania, the Railway Department, developing a money sense, has gone in itor a hoarding policy. Meticulous acehracy' might require it to Vie called a hoardings policy. Whichever it lie termed, it isn't nice, and it isn't to be commended. It is all very well for the railways to be out after revenue. That is a very proper motive, since they have a hefty interest bill to

meet, and are rather fiercely hammered by free lance competition these days. But I there- is a limit, there is, really. It pays to advertise. It also pays'to let hoarding space for advertisements; but when this is done at the expense of spoiling somebody else's beautifying scheme, and alienating a whole lot of people who might otherwise be very sympathetic, it is just a question whether the credits that can be shown on a balance sheet really meet, the debits which cannot. The corner of Khyher Pass and Boston Road is hardly a beauty spot- at the best of t:mes. The City Council has done una I it could to improve the view, arid its best has been quite good. But there are en-'Ugh natural disadvantages without the vigorous crop of hoardings the railway people arc planting. If they would remove them and take up a subscription, they would get some contributions out of sheer gratitude.

This habit of bor.rowing other people's motor cars without the formality of asking permission goes a little too far. There was a tirpe when it was considered a venial offence, a mere exhibition of high spirits,l and, indeed, rather more of a joke than anything else. Now it' is well past a j"ke, One of the great merits of the car, compared with the horse vehicle, has always lain in the confidence its owner could feel that he could

leave it by the korbside unattended, certain to find it when he returned. There is no danger that the. tractive force will take fright and/bolt, sit down on the roadway, try to scratch its ear with a hind foot,, and get tangled in the harness or otherwise land itself in a nasty mess. Even it you •do abandon your car temporarily while you pilot a schooner over (he bar. the engine will not rear up and 'try to bite the works in a last year's model flitting past- it. But the joy-rider has wiped out most of the.se advantages. The worst of it, is a car has no sense of discrimination. It never tries to bite, or kick the stranger who come fooling around it. Even the faint and far away chance that it might, backfire and break his wrist is discounted bv the prevalence of selfstarters. So in the absence of switchkeys, often in spite of them, the owner as he emerges, wiping his mouth, is always liable to find empty space where lie left his car. As already said, it is past a joke. There/'are many car-owners in Auckland to dav v. Hp know why lynching was made the penalty for horse theft, in the wild, wild west.

So they fcay/the Daylight Limited is to stop, and, considering the Napoleonic way the Railway Department holds to its resolutions, mayi,e there is no use arguing about it. But it. shows no sense of the fitness of tec/us. Just when daylight, grows more limited, there is to be no more of the Daylight Limited. All the old arguments meant to show that it was never needed, and that if it returned its weight in gold still it would not he needed, have been heard once more. Let them go; they have been out for a gallop, have.returned to the stable, and will certainly be saddled up again whenever the old topic shows Ms head. But just, a moment to dwell on one of them. The transcendent superiority of the night express is supposed to rest on the wonderful facilities it offers the business man t.o travel all night, do business all day, and then travel lyune again the next night; which would be a wonderful tiling if that kind of business man existed. But does he? Say a man of affairs in Wellington has to visit Auckland on business, is it probable ho will really want to rush the job so that he spends about 36 hours in travelling and 12 doing business? It is not. Ho is much more, likely to be looking for an excuse to spend an extra day and a night in Auckland. Remember he comes Iror/i Wellington. Take the contrary case. Even if Parliament is not in session the Amcklander may want to see the Wellington Zoo, or the Botanical Gardens or something. He might want to find a comer he can turn confidently without holding on to his hat with both hands. No, there may be all kinds of arguments for and against day or night expresses, out the hustling business man has been overdone. /