LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXIII, Issue 19298, 10 April 1926, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

BY MERCUXIO.

The last holiday of the gladsome summer season is over; people must turn with a sigh to a winter of work, broken only occasionally by celebrating tho birthday of His Gracious Majesty, going to football matches on Saturday afternoons, seeing the steeplechase run and rescuing existence from irretrievable boredom by similar expedients. In spite of the threats of tho weather prophets, departing summer did its valiant best. Some' of tho days might have been better, but at least Easter Saturday was a joy to the devotees of the out of doors. Why, it was almost a pleasure to lose money at Ellerslio in that golden sunshine, with the green grass and tho blooming'flowers to gaze upon. It was a double pleasure to win it. of course. And those who sought their pleasures elsewhere were done by just as generously. To some people it may seem not quite right that the sun should shine just as joyously upon the race-going wordling as on the innocent picnicker or tho festive excursionist; but it did. And, whatever their incidental occupations, those who persistently stayed out of doors all had their reward. The cables tell us that all this gold found at Panama is to be exploited by a New Zealander called Duncan Alves. '0 'o 'Alves it with is not stated. As he comes from Dunedin it is probably with Duncan. "America! Slio won't take our wool, she won't take our muttonj and she loads us up with motor-cars!" So said a Canterbury fruitgrower, more in sorrow than in anger. He hardly found enough to praise in this practical application of the scripture's pronouncement that it is more blessed to give than to receive. The annual contest having been held, a Christchurch man has been declared the New Zealand champion at draughts. If ho wants to imperil his title he will need only to go to Ohinemuri some little time hence. A few people there will be prepared to back themselves against the world at draughts; at least until the novelty has worn off. During Easter it was noted that tho city water was discoloured. Not an unusual happening in good water during festive seasons. What's yours ? Still there is probably no truth in the wicked rumour that the whole thing was done deliberately to help along the loan proposals which go to the poll next week. Thero is an item of £70,000 for filtration plants, you know. Sir James Parr says that the one of the tokens of appreciation of his work as Minister of Education he values most is that which he received from the In-stitute'-&f Teachers. The sign of appreciation which he values most of all, without any qualification, is doubtless that which he received from the Cabinet, a free trip to London and a job to go to when he gets there. Reports from the annual conference of the New Zealand Labour Party say there ■was a discussion of means by which farmers and labour could bo brought closer together. That this was wholly superfluous will bo the considered verdict of every farmer in the country. They reckon they are associated with labour all their working moments, and find it perched ou their pillow at an unearthly hour in the morning. No closar association for them, thank you. It's a new story about Dunedin. Such have to be told with caution, for Dunedin grows very thin-skinned these days. A Dunedinite may tell a story against himself or his city, but if an outlander grows too venturesome he is liable to be assaulted with a pibroch or stabbed with a cairngorm or otherwise mutilated. But the story must bo told all the same. A new arrival Ln the Dominion, wanting to learn the characteristics of all its parts before deciding where to settle, was cross-examining an inhabitant. "What sort of a place is Dunedin?" he asked. "Dunedin?" was the answer. "Oh, that's the place where they spend nothing but the evening!" Another jov added to travel by the Main Trunk trains. If you happen to be on any of the night expresses on April 20, at or before midnight, you have to fill in a census paper. The department handling the business thoughtfully advises you to secure the personal schedule beforehand so that you can have it all filled up, ready for the sub-enumerator when he boards the train after midnight; and a very good idea too. It is very diflioidt, to remember all abont yourself a(, one o'clock in the morning when you are hurtling southward in the Limited. However, there is another tip which has not been given. That is to procure a large placard, print on it, "Here's my census paper!" and pin it., with the envelope, in some conspicuous place on yourself, your rug or your seat. It will save explanations and enable the collector to get his due without, rude awakenings or peevish expostulations. Sleep on tho Main Trunk train is too precious to be lightly disturbed. A newspaper from far away America came to hand a day or two ago. It had Borne remarks about New Zealand in it, inspired by a copy of the New Zealand Herald, which had drifted in because one of the townspeople had received it from a relative in the Dominion, and wishing to share the good things of life, had passed it on. The place was Geneva, not the Geneva whero the League of Nut-ions functions, but Geneva, N.Y., where they don't believe in Leagues of Nations. Anyway, a copy of the Herald inspired somebody in the office of the Geneva Times to a few comments, deeply tinctured by the evident belief that tho world consists of Geneva and a few other pluees. He ..calls New Zealand one of the Remotest places in tho world. But ho doesn't say what it is remote from. Remute from Geneva, perhaps; but then Geneva is, from the New Zealand point of view, one of the remotest places in tho world, too. But he never seemed to think of that,. Also this industrious reader and commentator was much struck by tho place-names he saw. He quoted Matamata, Papakura, Papatoetoe and a few others—and the compositor nuido a very bad shot at, a number of them. Then he remarked: "How different from the places around Geneva." Too true, especially as elsewhere irr the paper there is reference to some place known as Canandagua. It's all a matter of comparison, as tho "tar of tho Geneva Daily Times will find some day if he over gets away from tho town with the historic nama.