LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXI, Issue 18897, 20 December 1924, Page 21 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

SX MEECUTIO.

Christmas is at hand. This Is not a highlv original remark, nor is it particularly informative. Most people arc Him'ly aware of the fact already ' There iro so many signs' that cannot ho mislead. Schools are breaking up; displays $n the shops ars breaking out; good refcolutionr, to set all the absolutely essential shopping doio at least a fortnight in advance are breaking down; finally the Jieads of households are rapidly going broke. So there is something doing in the way of Christmas. It comes but once v, year, and a good job too. Ju:»t fancy having to we more than once in 12 months the brain sweat and agony of for Aunt Sophinisba a present •that will not be too dear, and yet will Hot look too cheap ! One simply could not do it and survive. The fact that for (ho last 35 years the clear lady lias been much more grateful to those who forgot than to those who remembered her birthday has been a great relief. Then there is the fiery ordeal of trying to keep pace with the youngest generation in the consumption of indigestible foods, and in ffrcnuous exercise immediately thereafter. After all it is the comfo. table consciousness that it does happen only once a year •which enables most people to inject into the celebration a becoming degree' of goodwill. Not long after these wise reflections appear there will be a mighty scattering of households to beaches, streams, hills and countryside. An openair Christmas taken in a strenuous but not too . strenuous fashion; that is the ideal for a young country where summer skies are supposed to smile on the greatest festival of the year. Seizing this last opportunity to do it "Mercut?,o" offers to those who thus turn to making She best of the season heartiest wishes for a verv happy Christmas this year of grace, 1924.

If a local body wants to riise a loan without taking an authorising poll ; it usually has to obtain special legislative sanction to do it. Whenever any measure containing such, a provision comes before Parliament there is bound to be a hullabaloo, Members ask nasty questions, insinuate that back-door methods are being employed to rob the ratepayer of his sacred right to turn down a loan proposal, and imply generally that the self-respect-ing citizen would be absolutely inconsolable if deprived of his chance to cast his vote. The public looks on, or listens in, end applauds the vigilant custodians of the rights of the people. So polls have to be held, and when they are hardly anybody votes. There was a good illustration of that fact this week. Loans totalling £710,000 were offered for acceptance or rejection, and out of the ratepayers of the city, 2247 found time to mark a voting paper. The odd three needed to make it a neat and even 2250 could not be mustered. What is a poor bewildered student of human nature to do • Conclude that it is a mad world, my masters,", and let it go at that ? There is nothing else for it.

In the light of conjectures about the Primacy which are flying about just now, it may be appropriate and not disrespectful to say that Bishop Averill is looking arch and saying nothing.

The jchooner War. Lord became stranded at Waikokopu and remains prominently placed before the eyes of the public. The people of Waikokopu want to get rid of their War Lord and cannot. So now they know how the Germans felt toward the end of the war.

When a bankrupt pork-butcher was being examined by the official assignee it was suggested he had been 'living in the clouds. He said he had. Well, he might have made a do c;. it that way; and pigs might fly. But unless they did he would find precious little pork butchering 'to do in the empyrean.

It it 'be true that cattle carrying tick on them are being driven to the. slaughterhouses at Westfield farmers have every right to be indignant about it. The general public need not object to the protests, because there is little chance of the tick reaching the retail shops.

A ticket for a dance at Hamilton found Jr; the interior of a groper caught near Blenheim—more wonders of the deep. The' appropriateness of the affair depends entirely on the quality of the dance. If it was a function attended only by the best people of Hamilton, that fish must have been a climber, not a groper.

If we are to take seriously some of the things the critics have said about the -All Blacks, it is to be hoped they did not conduct themselves at that dance given by Sir James Allen as they are alleged to have done on the field once or twice. Tripping and obstruction on the floor would be one degree worse than at Twickenham.

A number of telephone engineers from Australia are coming to see the fun when the cutover takes place in Auckland, and the complete automatic system begins to work. Well, it is to be hoped they get here while the old system is at work; for if the Auckland cutover is to be something unique, so is the system which is to go out of action; absolutely unique, and a good job, too.

Sonic- of the public examinations for this year have been held, and the candidates Hie not pleased about the papers, to judge by letters which have been appearbig in the Herald on the subject. Theit> is something to be said for the dismayed examinee who expresses his disgust right away, not after the results have been announced. It makes him sound genuine. Ho must be given credit for that much, oven if there may also be a dark suspicion that he is getting in early with a little useful propaganda. Most of those people who seek the examiner's gore are a little given to vagus generalities about his sins. One correspondent, varying the usual procedure, lias written to "Mercutio" for sympathy, not for himself but for another. So that there may be no mistake, he en closed the offending paper—Matriculation English, Paper A. _ It is criticised in general, and in particular, the letter concluding with a request for assistance in flagellating the examiners. The appeal is a most moving one, but there is a diffi culty about co-operating as desired. Of course one should be prepared always to abuse an examiner in any subject, at any time; they are the enemies of mankind But after careful consideration of tlio offending, paper, even including the questions specially singled out to be anathematised, a difficulty arises. Casting back to the dim distant years when examiners v.ere the bane of his existence too, "Mercutio" can only decide that had he struck thai particular paper he would have left the examination room oppressed with a deadly fear; it would have seemed too good to be true; such surface simplicity wo"id have been suspected of concealing pitfalls in the turn of every sentence is only one real catch, so far as " Mercutio" can judge, in the whole business. With the best will in the world toward those who Have a rod preserved in pickle for any examiner, anywhere and anyhow, "Mercutio" is more puzzled than ever concerning the merits of this year's invective about the dreadful difficulty of the tests.