MAINTAINING SILENCE.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LX, Issue 18458, 23 July 1923, Page 12

MAINTAINING SILENCE.

Silence, apparently, is no longer to he considered as " golden," says a bachelor. Not in matrimony, at any rate. We gather this from the recent decision in the case of a "silent husband," who, although continuing to live in the same house as his wife, contrived not to speak., to her for three years. Such orolonged silence as this amounted (according to the verdict) to " desertion." Incidentally, one is amazed at the dexterity with which] the husband in this case avoided those little domestic queries without which life (to most married couples) would seem impossible. •"'■ • "What does the laundry do with my collars " " Has the man como to mend that tap to-day 'i " That sort of question ! Perhaps these were asked through .an intermediary—the housemaid, for'instance.' ; Once having granted that the feat of maintaining silence for so long a ]>eriiocl as three years is a possibility, we come to the question: " What would you do if you had a husband who never spoke a word to you for all that time ? " •If I were a woman, I should - lead my own life without him,, .. ;

Once I had found out definitely that he no longer oared for methat lie was a " hopeless proposition," in fact —it would be immaterial whether he spoke to me or not. V In fact, ; I should infinitely prefer silence to nagging. ". And I should comfort myself with the reflection that there are many more trying forms of "cruelty" than muteness. An /incapacity to sign • cheques,; for instance, is a far i morn try- ; ing i ailment than a lack of conversational power. ■".,': -'?.'.'.'•,.* v r ■-: '"■.•/. : 'j-: - But this is a "mere man's" view. Wo must take into consideration that women are differently ' constituted. ■>■ i You may have noticed that in an argument with a woman nothing, is so irritating as silence. To apologise, to try to smooth the matter over, or to " answer back "—any. of these methods she understands and can deal with. But to turn a deaf ear to her arguments, to lapse into silencethis is intolerable. I have knon'n men who have shared rooms and lived together in complete harmony without ever indulging in much conversation. , ; Newspapers propped up in front of teapots, they read their way through breakfast,, and when meeting in the evening were scarcely more loquacious , at dinner. • One can scarcely recall a case in which a man accused his wife of cruelty for maintaining silence for any lengthy period. I; have heard many "complaints from married men friends—but never of a' wife who has been accused of taciturnity. Indeed, I have heard that one of the chief causes for those first disputes -in early married life is the failure of women to understand that at certain moments of the -day animated ■ conversation is not) desirable. The moment when the husband arrives home, tired after his work, and (until fed) very cross, is the chief of these. ■; >*;.■ '•..';■ *'">.:.;-• .--;. *•■

At such times as these silenceon "the part of the : wife— surely safest and best.