LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LIX, Issue 18025, 25 February 1922, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

■T .MERCUTIO.

?|J Mereuao" has no intention of entering the latest controversy on the origin of man. The field is already overcrowded ind any hopes that tlio issue might bo brought to a final conclusion have already been disappointed. But wo may be grateful to Mr. Calder for having started a 'disoussion of such widespread interest that attention has been distracted from fto more practical, but also more harassing question of tho cost of living, the effects of the slump, and tho virtues of the Bulgarian bug. What a pity it is that while so much interest can bo oxcited in a question of thi s character, it is so difficult to engago public attention in such a matter as, for instance, the election of the power board. If half as nmch energy were devoted to examining thfl merits of the various candidates and half as much zeal were reserved for tho warding of votes, next Tuesday's poll fyjuld he of record dimensions.

The analogy between the controversy over the Darwinian theory and tho forthcoming power board election u not so far fetched as ft may appear. Both have famished a considerable volume of newspaper correspondence, nnd upon neither has agreement been reached. On the one hand, we have had representatives of two groups of citizens disputing as to what was said in the course of certain negotiations, and though the conversations occurred only last week, it is apparently impossible to discover exs.ctly their import. The reasonable explanation is that there has been a misunderstanding, but if 'doubts can arise within a week upon such a comparatively simple matter, is it quite reasonable to expect positive proof of what happened thousands or millions of years ago. Yet intelligent people, who T»ill calmly discuss personal differences, and amicably agree to differ, will become exoited, even to the point of losing iieir tempers, because ono party contads that man first saw the light in the Garden of Eden, and the other argues that the first twig of the ancestral tree was drawn from the primeval slime-

Tf one may judge by his first speech outside Parliament as Leader of the new Opposition Mr. Wilford's epigrams are better than his politics. But even epigrams are liable to faij when ono is attempting to prove that everybody should belong to his party. Thus Mr. Wilford said. "Toryism desires to keep, and a small section of Labour to take, while Liberalism desires to maintain the bal-' ance," but be did not explain whether the balance is to bo maintained bv allowing Toryism to keep or Labour to take. Surely that is important. Then when he went on to sav that "Liberalism is the pendulum which keeps time for everyone" he must have forgotten that a moment before he conpfained that the Labour Party "wiis too fast for him and the Tories wore too slow. So that even on Mr. Wilford s showing his clock will not set the pace for everybody.

Auckland East has something like a grievance against the farmers who have decided to enter party politics. When the by-*lection was being fought there was a threat, or it might better be called a promise, that farmers' candidates would be put forward. There was no appearance of the farmer, but Auckland East has been anticipating the pleasure of seeing him at the general election. Unfortunately even this hope has been dashed by the announcement of the seats the farmers contemplate contesting. It appears the farmers have decided to confine their attention to districts in whjch milk production is the predominant industry apd leave severely alone an electorate in which the hop as at least one of the, Staples of industry.

Probably the Dominion has not fully I realised the pathetic fate that awaits the battle-cruiser New Zealand, and before fie is paid off for the last time, there Mill be' tnanv who will join, with Sir John Salmond in hoping that, having reached the end of her useful service, her despatch from the Navy may be made the occasion of a ceremony symbolical of the new spirit of harmony amontj the Great Powers. It is, however, a little difficult to s:» how this proposal could be carried into effect. In the first place, the authorities are not likely to entertain any suggestion that the New Zealand should be sent round the world so that the Dominion's farewell to the- ship cannot bo given directlv. But .would the ceremonial landing-over* of the battleship to a contractor to bo scrapped be either impressive or inspiring? Of course, Sir John Salmond may have an idea of the fleet escorting the ship out into the Atlantio, and sinking her to the accompaniment _of salutes W guns and trumpets. U doubt, if the New Zealand Government is pre; pared to buv the ship at her "scrap value, the Admirality would not raise any objections, but would it not he wi«er to set the money aside toward the Balance of the debt which has still to be discharged before our gift is complete I The joke is upon Gilbert. When the eminent playwright wrote lolanthe as a gentle satire upon British political institutions, he could scarcely have supposed that he would ever be quoted to prove the necessity of Mr. WiHord • carrying on. Yet it is so. Sir William Gilbert's famous qnip that every child born into the world alive "is either a little 'Liberal or else a little Conservative" has been accepted literally m support of the argument that "in politics voters can be roughly and finally divided into Liberal and Conservative groups. The classification is certainly roughrough on Mr. Holland for examplc-but it is surprising that Liberals should regard it as final. Few of the voters who gave Reform such a large majority at last election have "finally" mado up their minds there is not much use having tnother election for a decade or two until a great many little Liberalsassuming there are some coming on— nave grown up and are entitled to the franchise.

If another reference to politics may be pardoDcd, Mercutio would like to enter it plea for the Conservatives who form the majority of the British Coalition. They have been accused, of bringing off a "stunt" election in 1&18,- and of misleading the voters with such cries as "Hang the Kaiser" and "Make Germany Pav." The defence is an alibi. It wis the* Liberal mouthpiece of the Coalition who made these exceedingly popular but somewhat impracticable proposals. II our New Zealand Liberals will acquit the Conservatives and put Mr. Lloyd George is the dock the trial may be proceeded with.

A correspondent draws attention totlie fact that the date of last Wednesday, written in a commonly-used stylo 'of abbreviation, presented a striking combination of figures, viz., 22-2-22. •He asks whether this will occur again. As a matter of fact, a similar phenomenon of the calendar occurred on November 11, 1911. and if the same method of setting down dales is continued, the scries of six one's will recur in 2011. and that of five two's in 2022. However the correspondent actually answered his own question, concluding liis letter with the observation —"I imagine it will never occur again if all the latter-day prophets are anywhere near the mark."

A ftorv is going the rounds about the Minister for Education which may not be true but is good enough to bo to'd. It was at the time Mr. Parr was dividing his energies between instituting precautions agamst plague, and arranging for school children to salute the flag regularly. Quite by accident—for he is by no means ostentatious in his loyalty —the Minuter 'iad purchased a box of matches with a reproduction of the Union Jack on the lid. As he brought hk matches out to light a cigar a friend rvely enquired: "Hare you a rat the other pocket Mrw Parrr 4 -