SHORT STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LVIII, Issue 17662, 24 December 1920, Page 2 (Supplement)

SHORT STORIES.

WHAT THE? WEBE. The workers in a certain factory had a grievance, and they appointed two of their number to interview the bosa to have matters put right. The deputation made a poor job of their case, whereupon the master told them thay appeared to bo too fastidious. When the deputation returned they wer® asked by the other -workers what the master had said. " Said," replied one. "Ho said we were * two fat idiots !* " NO SELF-STAETEK. A wealthy New Yorker invited a party out to his summer house to see his horses and go for a ride. One of them, a banker, though dressed tor the part, knew nothing of horses, had never been on one. Having been properly mounted, with the assistance of a groom, the banker took the reins as per direction and sat motionless. Ho did not know how to start; still, he realised with embarrassment that his inaction was attracting the attention of the other riders. " Well," he said to the horse, with some irritation, "commence!" THE IDEAL DRI2TS. The following is one of the many amusing anecdotes contained in Mr. * George Robey's book, " After _ Dinner Stories," which has just been published.

~A , workteg man, -who combined the tnirst of a millionaire with ridiculously inadequate means, entered a public-house and Pandered so long before giving his order that the barmaid inquired of him somewhat impatiently what he would have. Just at that moment the would-be customers eyes alighted upon tho form of f man lying back in a state of blissful n «™*o n . and his eyes brightened. " What did '© 'ave, miss?" he asked •anxiously. A NEW SAINT. Two sailers, an Irishman and a Scotchman, could never agree, and the rest of the crew had become adepts in starting them on an argument. One day " patron saints'' was the subject, of which the Scotchman knew nothing and the Irishman just a little. "Who was th© patron saint of Ireland said Jock. "Do you mean to say you don't know?" sa ;^ "Why, the holy; St. Patrick." " ■ « Jock in deliberate tones hang St. Patrick." * n , a rage the Irishman hesiUtcd a second while he thought of something equally offensive, and then burst Lauder? " A " d hang yoar Harr ? AN AGREEABLE CKANGE. A Weish -clergyman, after being tied to his manuscript sermons for vears, took to preaching extempore at an En^li^h ZZrt had . started foTth e benefit of his English visitors- As the COm u in ° awa y on ® afternoon with his curate, who possessed a considerW humour, him what he thought oi the service, and how he thought he was getting o n with his extempore preaching. The curate complimented him, but asked if he mi 2 ht make a suggestion. ° 6 <t Certainly," said the vicar. well, sir," said the other, " I think 1 tna Vr ° r ° 3 'brethern' rather You're quite right," said the vicar J my yife and daughters often tell me the i same thing, but you see words like those' olten come in handy and fill a gap.' ' oppose, sir," said the curate ' j or _ a change another weiiauthenticated form of address and sav