THE PERFECT GUEST.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LVI, Issue 17348, 20 December 1919, Page 6 (Supplement)

THE PERFECT GUEST.

Never criticise the children, whatever she thinks about them. Brings her own writing materials, fountain-pen, and stamps. .... Doesn't smoke in the bedroom when she knows, her hostess does not like it. , x Makes herself at home without taking liberties. Enjoys the dainties made in her honour. . . . Returns books, papers,

etc., to their places instead of leaving them strewn about. . * . Doesn't dawdle over breakfast. . \ . Isn't hypercritical about her rjostess' friends The hostess may say a depreciating word about some bore, perhaps, and yet be bv no means pleased if it's too evident that you find him a bore, too.

Always ready to lend a hand', but doesn't force her help upon you. . . . Speaks pleasantly to the maids, . . . Notices if somebody in the family has a pet seat,

and avoids it. . . . Never seems bored. . . . Doesn't want hot water all day long.

Doesn't forget to write direotly she gets I home and let you know that she has en- j joyed the visit. . . . Knows when to make herself scarce. . . . Doesn't bring her own favourite shoe polish cud leave samples of it on the spare bedroom carpet. . . . Arrives and departs by trains at convenient times. ... Doesn't stay splashing about in the bath when " he" is fiissing outside the door, knowing he has to choose between missing his oath or missing his train.

' Makes a point of spending part of every day in her own room. No hostess wants a guest to be always in evidence. Doesn't spoil children or animals. . . Makes (if she knows it will be welcome) some little contribution to the larder—a chicken " from our own brood," new-laid eggs, perhaps, or a home-made cake.

s Is ready to lend a hand in the garden or mow the lawn, perhaps, or weed the border.. ... Doesn't hinder the maids. . . . Doesn't forget to nee the doormat in wet weather. • ,

My last visitor I liked particularly because he kept his motor-cycle at a garage near, and always seemed to go and tinker with it at ' moments' when he was" not wanted, and he did not do what the guests did—keep telling me at meals what delicious things the hostess concocted at the place he had been staying at just before.

Does not send a telegram at the last moment asking to be allowed to come tomorrow instead of to-day. . . . Does not arrange to leave on Thursday and put it off till Friday, and the till Saturday, instead. - . .♦ Is not fussy about helping ' me when I don't want to be helped.

I cannot do with a guest who is always chattering. . . nor with one whose spirits go down to zero if the weather changes to "stormy." . . . Nor with one who simply makes a convenience of me, treating my house as an hotel.