SHORT WAR STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LIII, Issue 16169, 4 March 1916, Page 5 (Supplement)

SHORT WAR STORIES.

; ; sneaking IN. ;. A TOTWO' recruit was placed ■on > guard; for the first ; time. About.midnight he observed "/a', shadowy form ; approaching from ; tl» distance. Fulfilling 'his' duty >he immediately shouted: .."Halt! Who goes there!" ■< : . ' ~ , ~„, , -1A somewhat husky voice replied :." Shut up! I ain't going, : I'm > coming back ' ;'&A,iv'v *■'£&[■■'''•'''■"'.:> \ ■' ' ' COCKNEY AS IT 'IS \ SPELT. The scene was in a barrack room, Private Tomkins sitting at a table, writing a letter for home. ' .Suddenly he exclaimed to a few of -his' comrades in the room: ,' "gay mates, how d'yer spoil 'fort?' " " F-o-u-g-h-t," said one,". ■' " y- " No, that's not .what; I mean." ■ ■' " F-o-r-t," - exclaimed another. " " No, that's the fort we live in. Now what I mean is the feort you fink wiv." . THE b RIGHT A PLACE. The old soldier was telling* of his thrilling adventures on the field of battle to a party of young fellows, ono or two of whom were sceptical as to his veracity. " Then "?he '■ said, " the surgeons took me up and laid me carefully in the ammunition waggon, and-" - . "Look hero, interrupted one of the doubtful listeners. "you' don't mean the ammunition.-' ,-,You, mean the ambulance waggon. • ( '.: „ But the old man shook his head. "No," he' insisted, "I was so full of bullets that they decided I ought to go in the ammunition waggon." MUNITION ; WORKER'S ' EXPERIENCE ' A munition -worker employed ,at; Woolwich 'Arsenal got lodgings near the works. The first morning, he'- emerged ■ from his bedroom he sfe'nr>ed r into'a' largo tin bath and' rolled ; to-the bottom iof the stairs. As ! lie gathered himself .up at .the foot of the stairs he heard "someone murmur, "Right-oh!" , , '" . . , , ' .When-the new \ lodger complained of the carelessness of someone in leaving .the bath on ; the < stairs, hi? -landlady ■ said: '• ■- "Oh. that's ■ all right, sir.-- You see, 1 the i other lodger■ sleeps that . sound ;■ that nothing will waken him lip but.somebody falling downstairs. \He calls it : his ; alarm. dockl'V ;.' '•;•', :' ;., V •'- ■.■•■•' :-$3 \*