SHORT WAR STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LII, Issue 15906, 1 May 1915, Page 5 (Supplement)

SHORT WAR STORIES.

'~;- BACK' TO PRISON. f\ Things'-. are not always what they seem nor are men. There .was once, a soldier returning home from the front, in a railway carriage who was being very patient with a fussy and inquisitive old gentleman who wanted to know all about it. At last he-said: " And what will you do ..-when you leave the army?" "Go back to prison," said "Tommy" mournfully. Hie old gentleman "froze up." There was something wrong. "Tommy" looked the jolliest kind of gaolbird ever seen. All his companions seemed to be suffering from . suppressed mirth. And when at last lie did get out he stopped-a-moment at the door and smiled at his late inquisitor. "I might add I was a warder till we were called up," he said blandly, and disappeared into the crowd. . |.', ' THE K. EYE. ■ What may be described a3 "Kitchener phrases" are naturally very popular in the new armies in training. "Throwing stones" from the great man's celebrated sarcasm, "I can throw stones myself," is frequently used of contemptible shooting, and "Egypt or disband' is a military catchword for threatening a dismal alterna(tive. But the most popular of these phrases and the newest is "the K. eye" —which is the very reverse of glad. ( In subaltern language, for example, "The CO. did tho gimlet on him with his best 'K' eye" means that someone received a glanco from his commanding officer betokening trouble in the near future. ■ THE ROLLING STONE.-. At Tunbridge. Wells, there is a lady whom officers call "Agnes, the rollingstone." This old dame generally carries a basket of moss-hence' her name. Her favourite device is to tell young officers that she "used to know their parents and coax coin from them on the strength of it. 'She came off badly with a certain innocent-looking subaltern tho other day. " How*'long', is it since you knew my father and mother!", he , .inquired. "Twelve years." " But'they've been in hewn' for twenty." ( . '■ ,