A GYMKANA IN MALAY.

New Zealand Herald, Volume L, Issue 15482, 13 December 1913, Page 1 (Supplement)

A GYMKANA IN MALAY.

BY M. PHILLIPS. India is the home of the Gymkana, I suppose. Her first cousin, the Malay States, has adopted so many of India's customs and coolies, that a Gymkana there partakes very much of the real thing. It was Saturday, and the pretty town of Batti Gajah was very much en fete; the racecourse filled with a large and excited crowd; the grandstand overflowing with quite smart and pretty women. . We are very much up-to-date as regards clothes, you know. Even if some of us stifle, we are fashionable. So picture to yourself a racecourse surrounded by palms, bamboos, all sorts of tropical growth, and in the near distance high limestone cliffs covered with the greenest of "bush." Brave men and fair women representing almost every ; coloured nationality under the sun. The " arithmetic" race, the " telegram ": race, and tho " whistling " race were got off most successfully. ' My partner in this last was evidently a past master in the art- Beforehand, he besought me to poke the very dry little biscuits well into his mouth. You know they have to be eaten before the competitors start whistling the tune, and after they have run some distance to their partners, whose business it is to listen, and then write the name of the song, hand the folded paper to the whistler, and let him get promptly back to the starting post. Well, I rightly guessed the flood of melody hissed and spluttered forth to have something to do with the " Old Folks at Home," and he won the heat. Alas, in the final, nothing came but biscuit, which, after all, was not surprising, and the throaty songster had to be revivied with "stingahs" galore. After that doctoring, I know he attributed his failure to my density. But it is a long time since " Biscuits in the Bed" was a popular favourite, and I could think of nothing else musical where the crumbly stuff figures. The distance handicap, tilting the ring, etc., were quite successful, and then came the piece de resistance, the Gharry Ponies' Derby. A quite legitimate Gymkana event. In case you do not know, or have forgotten what a gharry is, I may as well tell you that in ■ the Malay States is takes the place of a cab or 'bus and is the principal means of transport for the natives. Anyway it used to be before the days of trains and motor buses. Old inhabitants do say that a gharry can be comfortable. I beg to differ, but as I only tried to be fairly so once, perhaps am not competent to judge. On that occasion it seemed to me that if one half of me was fairly straight the other half was bound to be twisted. If I tried to sit straight, and stretch my legs, then my head and shoulders had to be carried at an angle and vice versa. Then you have to sort of crawl in and out of these abominable little conveyances, the harness is mostly broken and tied up with rag or string, and you perhaps can guess what sort of animal goes along with them. The best of horseflesh is not put in the shafts of a gharry, not even the second best, but if the Batu Gajah and neighbouring specimens never do anything else, their antics gave us a splendid afternoon's amusement that Saturday. ■ The very swiftest mounts were out with the best jockeys up and the excitement was intense. ."Weary Willie " and "Tired Tim" were a well matched pair and in newspaper language "their fierce struggle for the' honour of being last in each race will live long in the history of the turf." They no doubt called to mind the sayings of tjheir everyday drivers, which numbers among them that trite remark telling that "Haste is of the devil." " Whisky and Soda " were not at all chummy, Whisky preferring Soda's absence to his company. What could one expect though, when the head " boy " at the club will have it that the pony follows the lead of the "Tuan." Other well known racing ponies were "Jibbing Jimmy," "Can't Stop," "Wait a Bit," "The Silent One," and, of course, "Tetrarch" an easy, a very easy, last. "Jibbing Jimmy" must have been lately shod, he was so fearfully proud of his shoes, and lost no opportunity of showing them off. His rider's feet were so close to the ground, about three inches off, so no one worried much or feared for him, if he did come off. . A long man on a short steed is always good for scenic effect at a Gymkana. There was also a tubby man on a tubby horse. That style of man is more common here than that style of horse. Gharry drivers' tender mercies do not tend to their ponies becoming tubby. Consequently the pair in this race was greatly admired, man and horse being so truly one. "Can't Stop" was naturally a hot favourite, but it was a pity he managed to do that which his name implied to be impossible so far awav from the winning post. Then "The Silent One" (a really awful roarer) might have won if his rider had suppressed even some profanity, and merely remembered that "As the sands of the desert are to the weary traveller, so is very much speech to him who loveth silence." "Wait a Bit" only acted ip to his name by every now and then stopping to inspect the crowd. He seemed to take a really intelligent in j terest in everything but the race. "Johnny Walker" was another competitor with mixed ideas. His pace was a dignified amble, and some one said if his rider had given up thoughts of a race and saluted, or bowed graciously, things would have had a better effect. "Johnny's" thoughts took him back to stately processions, cheer crowds, and royal personages, whom lie had helped to carry in some earlir and happier period of his life, before a gharry appeared on his horizon. Such was the idea he managed to convey, anyway. In the end I don't know who wen and neither did tl.e local paper, judging from what it said. What would you judge from the follow.":-" Responding to frequent applications of the whip, some of the ponies managed to run in a straight line and finish the course in quite good style. But no one wants to see the horses ruining in a straight line at the Gharry Ponies' Derby. Even a horse that walks in a straight line is better than tint, because the pained expression on his rider's face is a thing which giveth rise to much mirth.". !