SCOTTISH ANECDOTES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIX, Issue 1514, 9 November 1912, Page 5 (Supplement)

SCOTTISH ANECDOTES.

HUMOURS OF A COUNTRY TOWN.

In a volume devoted mainly to serious research into the history of Langholm, entitled " Langholm As It Was" —an inquiry into the history from the day when Nature was worshipped within Stone Circles down to the middle of the nineteenth century—we find a delightful chapter of Reminiscences written in his 84th year by Mr. John Hyslop, who, with his son, Mr. Robert Ilyslop, now of Sunderj land, devoted many years to archaeological research, the results of which are written in this book. We, cull a few of .Mr. John Ilyslop's Scottish anecdotes. Writing of the days before the introdue- } tion of the penny post—when country folks ' were glad to get a letter taken to a neigh- ; Louring town by any horseman or carrier— ] Mr. Hyslop tolls the story of how "the ; taking advantage of a chance" was illustrated on the occasion of the death of a Hawick man:—• " As his end drew near,/ so the story goes, one neighbour after another dropped into the sick room to send a message to .■some relative who they were perfectly sure was in heaven. At last one woman came, who entrusted to the weary man so many | messages, that at length he protested. I Slightly raising himself, he said, ' Weel, if

I A' sco them. AMI tell them, but ye maun understand that A'm no gaun clank-clank-ii)" through heeven lookin'.for your toll;.' ' The hint here as to the noise of the clogs and liters on the golden pavement seems to suggest the thought that heaven, like all places of any consequence, bore a striking resemblance to Hawick." Divorce and Marriage. In the early part of the nineteenth century very primitive arrangements were sometimes made in the matter of marriage and divorce. These are illustrated in two amusing anecdotes: — "Poet had not thought it necessary to go through the conventional marriage, ceremony, but instead had come to a purely financial arrangement with the i lady of his choice by which they simply ! amalgamated their estates. Pete gave the ! history of the experiment in his own way : 5 Kate and me did gey weel for about I three weeks,' he said, ' but then she began S to show some of her cantraips. And so savs I to her ane morning at breakfast time, says I, "Kate, I can see perfectly weel that ye're ettlin' to begin yer capers. j By the way ye're i-hapin', enuw A' can j see that you and me's no gaun to jump j thegilher/ Now as ye're vera weel a wo re, j Kate, ye'd only eighteen pence when we i I came Vhegither : here's yer money doon on I the table, anil be <>ot «>' the house by [dinner tiiii"." ' ' Ml she K :IU ». Pete? ' , someone asked. ' No, she didna gaim,' ad- ; M itti>d Peter, ' but she was a very inherent , ; woman ever otter. I " Not a few couples wer 1 then living in ■J the town concerning the strict legality of '' whose marriages there was more than a ' doubt. To rectify the scandal and for the [ j sake of the children, Mr. Shaw, the parish i undertook a kind of missionary

tour throughout the town, and, where lie I thought it necessary, performed the marriage service in due order. I remember his going to one house where the man and woman had lived together many years, without troubling themselves very much on the question of legality. When Mr. Shaw went in the guid-man was up in the loft doing a few repairs to the roof. The woman at once guessed what was the object of the minister's visit, and going into the 'entry' she shouted up, 'Jock, here's the minister —come down at yince and get niairril.''' Intolerance in the Kirk. Up to tho Disruption (wrote Mr. II.vslop) there were three Kirks in Langholm, the Established, or tho Auld Kirk, as it was always called, at the head of the Kirkwynd; the Secession, or Townhead; and the Relief, or Town-foot, These last two denominations united in 1847 to form the U.P. Church. In 1845 the Free Kirk came into being amidst great popular excitement, which was a-wanting at the Secession. It was in keeping with the ideas of the time that each < t these denominations should be intolerant of tho other. All such feeling, happily, is past and gone, and we can afford to smile and wonder—at it now. Rut it was very powerful then, and no pains were taken to hide it.

"An aged relative of miy own struck her son's name out of her will because lie left the Secession and joined the luce Kirk at the Disruption. Families were very frequently divided in this way. Husbands and wives continued, alter their marriage, to attend different churches, neither feeling inclined to give in. I think now a lot of this must really have been due to what old folk called ' obduredness.' The spirit was carried even farther, and I have known cases where, say, a woman who sat upstairs in the kirk would continue to do so after her marriage, refusing—as a matter of conscience, I suppose —to change even her pew lest her principles might be weakened! We seemed to consider that everything connected in any way with the kirk' resolved itself into a principle which must be sternly upheld." During the Sermon. An amusing description is given of a Scottish congregation in a country parish during sermon-time on a Sunday morning : — '• During the .sermon the men wrapped themselves in their plaids, and many of them went comfortably oft to sleep, and the rhythmic snoring of both _ men and women mingled rather inharmoniously with the minister's words. There was an old woman, Auld Nannie we knew her by, who sat just across' the aisle from our pew. Often one of us had to slip over and nudge her, to such an embarrassing pitch did her snoring rise, and extremely disagreeable she was sometimes because of our interruption. She would turn round and glare at our pew for five minutes afterwards. I susoect now we must have been an abnormally sleepy congregation, for I remember Wattie Duulop once stopping abruptly in his sermon and addressing us thus: ' Oh, try and sit up! Try and sit up and ATI tell ye an awneedote!' "

Mr. Robert, llvslop notes with sorrow that his father died while the volume was in the press, and hints that some further Reminiscences which could not be included in it may be published by-and-by.