AMERICA'S BEST JOKER.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIX, Issue 14888, 13 January 1912, Page 2 (Supplement)

AMERICA'S BEST JOKER.

BANKER'S STRANGE HOBBY.

TO TRICK NEW YORK. /

"About this time look out for Brian G. Hughes— joker." The New York almanacs have not yet reached the stage of inserting this note among their autumn and winter leaves, but that only shows almanac editors are not always abreast of the times. What it will be this time nobody knows, but everybody is expectant, for B.G.H. is the greatest annual laugh provoker in the country. He is a wealthy banker,

somewhat between 60 and 70 years old,

and he owns a lot of property. On it are tacked signs which read "Not for sale." Visitors to New York run against these signs occasionally, and wonder what they mean.

Their origin.was a dispute Hughes had with the city of New York some years ago. He occupied the old Centre Market Building, owned by the city, and he wanted to buy it, offering £65,000. The city refused to sell. Thereupon Hughes placarded the windows with large signs reading "Not for sale." People began to wonder why the city was thus proclaiming its intention of retaining its property. Scores of citizens wrote to the City Comptroller asking the reason for the signs. The Comptroller was mystified, too. He sent for Hughes. "What do you mean by placarding city property 'Not for sale' he asked. "Then it is for sale?" inquired Hughes politely. "No!" thundered the Comptroller. " We have told you raanv times it isn't tor sale." '""" '■ " Well, then,- I'm just advertising the fact for you, and it isn't costing you a cent. People won't ask you to sell it, hereafter," remarked Hughes. When lie moved, he went into another city-owned structure, the Jefferson Market Building, where his office now is. The city refused to sell him the second building also, and so it, too, is labelled with the ".Not for sale" signs. Hughes liked this joke so much that he took to plastering "Not for sale" signs on all his property. Sometimes he runs up the sign on someone' else's property. One of Hughes's jokes was perpetrated during a heavy snowstorm. He stuffed one of his old suits with straw, and buried it at night in a snowdrift, in front of his office. The next morning, he ordered one of his men to shovel the snow away. A few moments later the man rushed in with the news that there was a dead man in the snow. A policeman was summoned, and started to dig a little further. Hughes suggested to him that it was a case for the coroner. The policeman was impressed. He sent for the coroner, and for a police waggon to remove the body. An immense crowd gathered, and pushed round the officials as they began to dig. When thev had: uncovered the prostrate figure as far as the waist one of the diggers felt its ■ heart. He gave a grunt, beckoned the others, and without a word they got into the waggon and drove off. Pedigree Cat. Several years ago Hughes bought a stray cat from a bootblack for sixpence. It was about time for the annual cat show to be held at Madison Square Garden. Hughes fed up the cat, named it Nicodemns, wrote out a pedigree for it dating back almost to the sacred felines of the Pharaohs, and entered it in the cat show. The judges were so impressed with the pedigree and the expensive trappings with which Hughes surrounded the animal, that they gave it first prize, carrying a £10 trophy, in one of the male classes. It was a double joke on the judges, for Nicodemus a few weeks later gave birth to a litter of kittens. Hughes once bought an old, worn-out tramcar horse for £2 10s. ' He had it

treated in his own stables, until its ribs no longer_were visible, and entered it at the fashionable New York horse show. He named it " Puldeka Orphan." and pat it in a flower-decked stall at the show, attended by two grooms in resplendent livery. Of 25 entries "Puldeka. Orphan" was one of the 17 that triumphantly achieved the arena, having passed the examination of form. He was entered as a saddle horse, and Mr. Hughes's daughter mounted him to show his paces to the judges.

Miss Hughes, however, is somewhat of a joker herself. Unknown to her father she thought the horse might go better if he could hear the sound of bells which arc attached to the collars of the few

tramcar animals remaining in New York. The bells tinkled, and caused much mystification of the judges. They investigated, and smelted a rat. One of them, saying over the horse's name, suddenly discovered that it sounded like " pulled a car often." The judge did some quick thinking, and Hughes's entry did not duplicate the feat of his cat.

Another of Hughes's jokes was to offer to the city a tumble-down building which he owned. He wrote a formal letter, saying the building had housed "General Washington, General Lafayette. Garibaldi, and Jenny Lind, and in the hands of a restorer could be made of great historic interest." The city was about to accept, when President Drummond, of tho Archaeological Society was consulted. Drummond said the matter could be safely left to him. He sat down and wrote a letter to Hughes, saying: — "It is against our principles to accept a gift without making a quid pro quo. We shall be glad to take tho valuable historic dwelling you offer, on condition

that you permit us to give you in exchange the building opposite the foot of 108th-street. You will find it an excellent home for the remainder of your life." Hughes thought ho had won completely, until, it occurred to him to examine the building so generously offered him. Ho did so, and found it was a lunatic asylum. This was the latest of his jokes. As it did not turn out exactly in accordance with his expectations, he has got to get even, with the next effort, and so New York is particularly anxious to know what the new form of the Hughes humour will be like.