NOTES AND COMMENTS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLVII, Issue 14359, 2 May 1910, Page 4

NOTES AND COMMENTS.

'">MAN AND MATRIMONY. ' ' We are all , perhaps : nowadays (says the London Times) inclined to take too tragic a view of marriage. We do not see that it has persisted as an institution, not only because the higher will of man \is in favour of; it, 'but also . because human: nature and . circumstance on the whole are suited by it. In countries where marriages of convenience prevail the ordinary man and woman, marrying without love, grow fond of each other, and would not be parted if they could. , If only we understood the - true romance, we > should! see that this is a fact as wonderful arid romantic as all the great - passions of the world. It is not difficult but easy for men and women to love each other with a disinterested ' affection 'when., once they are joined by the; tie of children ; and .it is | mere sentimental- perversity which makes I us pretend t that such love; is ■: a rarity and precious 'because it is rare. It (Joes not take a hero or a poet to love well and constantly. • The wonderful and romantic fact is that the ordinary man can do this. If it were not so, if, as some people pretend, marriage were a slavery. imposed upon the cowardice ;of the ordinary man, there would be an end of it to-morrow;, or rather it would never have come .into being at all. . It is not a slavery even for the philanderer, but rather : ) a wholesomef: discipline, if it turns him into a father and gives him something : better < .to( do than tp philander. Women know this by instinct and they take •a* far . less tragic j and sentimental view -of marriage than men do. They are less afraid of'it'because, they expect less of it. Men have made endless and foolish jokes about -'; the eagerness of women to marry ; :'.they do ,' not understand that it is an eagerness to be « engaged- .the serious business 4of life, thn same kind of, eagerness that makes a youth with nothing, to do emigrate or enlist-. .' Women think rather of i the odds ~in favour 1 of happy marriage than of the"odds against - it, -for they think of the family. Hence a ■•• woman will < sometimes" force a ' philanderer to marry her under threat of an, action for ' broach of prdriiise, and she will do this be- ! cause marriage is for her not an exciting ' experience, but >a' serious business. r'X No ] doubt she. likes the man well enoughin 1 spite of his ; philandering, and feels ; sure '' that she can soon 'cure. him of that. * She ] does not perfection either in: him or ,' in her married life; but* gbe-18' ready 'to -•' make . the best of it and of .: him, and she regards : it, hot as a desperate adventure, i 1 but as a natural process. , ' ' '' ■- - "' ''■ - -: - ■.'..': ] THE QUEEN AND, LORD CRANBROOK ; One '■ of the most interesting stories- of i Lord Cranbrook, in his recently published i biography, is that told in: his diary of his ! last interview as .; a: Minister ; with Queen r Victoria. "I • shall not forget my last inter- l view .as Minister," says the ..diary. "The i Queen began by thanking me for •my picture, ;;i which, she hoped, I should see at Windsor, i arid trusted, to have me often there. Then ii she exclaimed, 'Oh, my dear Lord Cran- i brook, I cannot tell how sorry I am to lose you or part with you,' burst into tears, ' and held out her haJuL, which, kneeling ; down, and feeling deeply affected, I kissed, s expressing my deep gratitude for, all • her -'. goodness to me in the long past years." -A ;■ sidelight on the affection * with )which the ; Queen regarded Lord Beaconsfield is con- [ tained in a letter from Her Majesty ;to v Lord Cranbrook at the death of her great -.- Prime Minister. "The Queen longed to \. hear from Lord Cranbrook," she wrote in reply to a letter from him, "after our terrible loss of our beloved friend, Lord Beaconsfield, for he was so land to the Queen during his pleasant visits here in times of 1much anxiety that she felt sure, he would t feel for. her in what is, a dreadful and irre- ' parable loss ;to her. For whether in or out of office she could always turn to dear Lord --': Beaconsfield for advice and help in so many , things. He was a real * friend, and oh J , so wise, so calm, and so kind. The Queen feels the loss more and more." An amusing entry in - the diary refers to the interest which Queen Victoria took in the treatment and, amongst other things, the clothing of the Zulu chief Cetewayo after his capture. Under; date September £1, 1879, Lord Cranbrook says :' " Yesterday Her Majesty sent for me at eight in the evening. ; She is full of .*■ the capture "of ,' Cetewayo ■ and his treat- ; ment, and dwelt with much-energy .'arid emphasis on' her 'fear; that' the height of ill- ■ treatment 'would be' inflicted upon him by his being compelled' to 'dress a I'Anglais. She begged me to write on his behalf, and that of his clotheless, ladies, ' to Sir Michael Hicks Beach to save,: them from such degradation. It was all rather funny, , but with ' a base of very good sense Cetewayo in a blanket would be a far more imposing figure than in a'swallow-tail." : /■■ . "\