LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLVI, Issue 14133, 7 August 1909, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

3p t^l« k vie have audience for a word or two." gSfgf§^ss>,2>Shakespere. syf'VlT is not generally known that a number , of airships have been seen in Auckland • province as well as in the South Island, A resident of Waharoa sends me the fol- ■. lowing account of his own personal experience : " I saw a great airship sailing over Waharoa last evening (I don't see whv Wa- - haroa shouldn't have an airship scare as well <"S any other place), and hasten to give you full and true particulars of the ■wonderful eight. I had been out to spend ii convivial evening with a friend (although I admit I told my wife I was going to see BrJfiV.a sick friend), and on my way home I eaw this great sight. It rose tip in the east, and the light it carried was brilliant, Y " and very large. It couldn't have been ; Mars, so don't try and explain it that way. My wife says it was the moon, but it wasn't. I'm sure it wasn't."

» "Well, sir, the great light rose and rose, , \ and my hair rose too., but I wasn't fright-

cned a bit. This great light soon wae

|yi' over lay head, and I could smell whisky and sourkrout as plain as ever you tasted gCv it. I admit now that I was interested, and on it coming closer, only about 2ft .) from my head, I quite plainly saw the - German Emperor, and heard him discus- - sing the native land question. Tho word " taihott' was often ueed. I made out from g: the conversation that was going on in that airship that the crew were Germans,

iy, 'and that they were looking for Mr. Car- , roll, our worthy Acting-Prime Minister. They said they'd quicken his land policy

if only they could find him.

They also

were discussing the way the pakeha paid . 'rent to the Maori, or, as an alternative,'

join the ranks o fthe unemployed."

" Just at. this point, his German majesty caught sight of me, and very rudely put hie mailed thumb on hie nose point, and extended the four other mailed digits towards me. The ship then quietly sailed away in the direction of Berlin. I may say, further, that I found an empty whisky bottle next morning, evidently dropped oat of the airship. It is really too bad, sir, the way these airships go about ; trying to frighten decent people going homo a bit late at night."

Apropos of airships, what is more likely >than that smuggling will be carried on upon an extensive scale? And why not "now? Airships have been seen in prohibited as well as "open" districts, and in the North as well as in the South. What

'about- a smart Japanese firm having jump'eJ the opportunity to smuggle high-dutied igoods into our Dominion, by means of a merchant vessel lying out a't sea and an airship acting as tender? Explanatory theories can be invented much faster than airships, and I give this as a free suggestion. In any case, airships will considerably disturb the Customhouses of the .world. Instead of a coastguard service; there will have to be an air-guard serVice. Our Customhouses may be moved from Auckland and Wellington to Mount Egmont or Mount Ruapehu, and there will be less chance of excluding opium than there is now—which is very little.

Here is an ancient and perfect acrostic, possibly the oldest and most perfect known, which amused the Romans 2000 years ago,' r jind probably earlier., It is: Sa'tor, arepo, tenet, opera, rotas : " which is freely translated as: " The, ploughman with labour holds the wheels." Now square this sentence so: SAT OR r- A R E P 0 '7-VT E N E T OPE R A ROTAS

3Tou will se that the sane sentence is' to be read down the rows as along the lines; and that the first word read backwards ■ is th* fifth; the second the fourth; and the fifth reads backwards or forwards, ' Car: this be beaten as a perfect and intelligible acrostic?

, Times have changed! Four years ago Mr. Seddon was expounding the immense Advantages to be gained by connecting the ptago Central with Hokit'ika. And now Mr. R. McKenzie says that nobody "in his jEober senses'' would think about such a Scheme.

I ai'ked the ancient cabman how he liked the idea of motor taxi-cabs being introduced into New Zealand. " Dunno as it troubles me much," he said. I've got bver worry in' over the things what's going to crowd cabs off the 6treets. First it was railways. They was goin' to wipe cabs y tight out. Then came 'buses. There b " wasn't goin' to be no more use for cabs ) with 'buses ninnin' all over the shop. Then Ipit was trams. Everybody said no one |r would have need for cabs when trams ;v was in full runnin'. Now, it's motors and taxi-cabs. Well, let 'em all come. Me fend the ole 'orse has kept goin' so far, end I daresay we'll still be goin* when 'the airships has wiped out the motors. We'll probably be able to earn a few bob i'ji; then, pickin' up the passengers what fall . Overboard." t

A lady signing herself "W.E." wishes pie to publish this in the hope that it will catch the eye of some of her neighbours: " Dear Mercutio. —I wish you would say, in your column that when one gives jam to her friends it is a mean thing for them pot to return the jars when empty. I - slwars have to buy new jars every summer, and it is very annoying.' 1

A society lady very sadly gave herself iway in a church not a hundred miles from the post office on a recent Sunday. After being at the races she carried home with her certain remembrances in the «hap* of tote tickets, which were very carefully—woman-like—placed in her gold fcag. This did not happen to be opened !igain until at church the next morning, when in seeking for a coin to put into 'he' plate, she opened the bag, when a fcancli of tickets fluttered to the floor.

.. We are getting so easily through the winter that quite a number of fruit trees in very sheltered spots have not lost their p-. leaves yet. I understand, however, that / puch exceptionally mild winters are pot fe- wholly favourable to deciduous fruit trees. .V: But whether it is good for trees or not, it is good for the comfort of mankind.

i * fMr. C. M. Stuart writes from Papeete, 0: Tahiti, re the interpretation of the original Maori name of New Zealand: " If the word % ■ spells Teaoatea it vould mean in the Tahiti language 'the distant world,' te ao meaning '" the world ; atea leaning at a distance; lit 5 Vtea-'roa meaning vpry far off. As some of the Maoris probably came originally from H ;the Society Group, and as their world was b the Society Group, it would be a natural tame to give their new home." !81 $ ' I ' '' ' ■<I . . r' : ' , One has always to go a long way from iome to hear the n«ws. Lloyd's Weekly, ; London, ha« it ' (hat " Ngaruahyo, one >1 the New Zealwd volcanoes, is in «tive eruption. Loud reports are heard •in Wellington. ' Sand and lava are running down the slopes of the volcano, and ' - % thick .. volumes of sWoke and 6tea,m are 1 ticing to a height of 3000 ft." . ; rv j - Mercdtxio. ; ■■■. liMl-"