THREE SCHOOL STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLV, Issue 13874, 7 October 1908, Page 9

THREE SCHOOL STORIES.

vouni) our. A school attendance officer quite recently met a lad who, instead of being at school, was wending, his way to a publ'ic-houso for a pint of beer. "How is it vou are not at school, my boy?" said the man of law "It's washing-day, and I'm going for a pint of ale for my mother.'" He let the boy go on his errand and walked straight to the lad's house... "Good morning, Mrs. So-and-j so. How is it your boy is not at school this morning?" "Ah ! bless you," she says, " the poor lad's ill in bed, and has been tho j past two days. I'm afraid we shall never j rear him, for you see he's been delicate ever since he was born." " Can I see him?" returned the officer. "Certainly, if you'll wait a minute till I see if he's awake. He's had a bad night, and I should not lite to disturb him if he's asleep." The good lady wont on tiptoe to the foot of the stairs and called out softly, /-Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, are you awake?" Returning to the attendance officer she said, "You see, Mr Schoolboard, Johnny's asleep, and it would be such a pity to disturb liiin." Just as she finished, in walks Johnny with the pint of beer..- The old lady, to make the best of a j «■*!■* mv up her hands and exclaimed, My dear Johnny, how did vou get out? What a bad lad to get out of the bedroom window again, after all I've said!" A" TRIFLE INCONSISTENT. - An excited woman -rushed into school one morning holding a lad by the jacket collar I he moment she got inside she shouted out Now, master, here's a lad that's been playing the wag (truant), and I don't intend to .leave this blessed spot until ; I see him iJ-kinned;Pka»/tmister,-slate him alive" I must see him skinned!" she said. To make the best of a serious case, the master replied, "Well, I don't skin till ten o'clock, and it is only a ■quarter-past nine yet, so vou had better sit down.till 'I'm ready." bhe took a seat, still holding the lad bv the collar, _ and he went to his desk.. In about five minutes, she sent the bov to his class and coming up to the master whispered very softly into his ear— Please, master don't touch the poor lad, he's so delicate' you could almost blow him away with a breath!" ' • ;, ; BLURTED OUT THE TRUTH. A mother came with a truant one morning ana said, "Pleuse excuse mv boy, he has r been ill the last fortnight." The master said, 'Very good, let him go to his class." The woman then turned suddenly round, and, seizing the lad-by the jacket, gave him a good shaking, saying at the same time, "I'll break every bone in your dirty carcase if I've to come again and tell a pack of lies like this for you."—From Schoolroom Humour, by Dr. "Macnamara, M.P. ' :