THINGS IN GENERAL.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLV, Issue 13701, 18 March 1908, Page 9

THINGS IN GENERAL.

-POOR THINGS!" ] •\- E been reading about the W.C.T.I'. u fd what- the members have been saying , n d receiving. You know, it takes a man , long tuna to understand some things, Hid I am bound to confess that I cannot whv certain women will not be content 0 remain in the sphere for which nature ias best lilted them. According to the pro.ec'dim,'s at the W.C.T.U. convention, they •re now chafing to get into Parliament, ami show us how to make laws. Vet. they seriously listen to. and applaud the sentiments of. an unmarried lady, who discourses upon ii subject —that of .married life— to which she can know positively nothing until she has bestowed her own hand upon some fortunate member of my . cx ; is that is not the rcductio ad absurd tint, 1 would like to lie informed what is. It would be just as sensible for a, schoolboy to deliver a lecture on ethics. However. 1 have ventured to put my sentiments into rhyme, as tor instance :— " They do the best they can, poor things, They do the beat they can," "s a id the Christian temperance president, inpstrophising man' , 'But very soon the gentle sex, In Parliament "ill rule. And there we'll run. lor wretched males. ' A legislation school." "At feminine ability The tyrant-. Men. may sneer, But 1 affirm." she stamped her foot, ■'We've more than them." ("Hear, hear.") 'Imagine Man," the speaker cried With laughter, tinged with scorn, "Discussing how to feed, and rear. The babies that are born!" And then uprose a lady fair (A spinster by the way). Who made a speech on married life, And husbands, strange to say! Bat no one thought to raise the point ."if, what the maiden knew Oi matrimony, any more Tuun other maidens do? Oh. what a life 'twill be, indeed iVhen Woman is " M.l'.!" she'll settle such a lot of things, While " hubby" gets her tea. Defence, and war, and preference. And things we need not name. She'll deal with in a manner which Will put mere Man to shame. ENVOI. *° All. Woman, govern still Man's home. His household laws still frame. By counsel wise, and loving deeds. Uphold your honoured name. But, leave to those equipped to fight The larger tilings of life. . Win world's esteem by being, just. Fond Mother and true Wife. BABY'S FUTURE. In discussing the destiny of Australia the ther day the Rev. H. Worrall. formerly of ..'ijLis said to have remarked that no Australian baby ought to be allowed to grow into a drunken scoundrel. There, now! It just shows you how liable we are to overlook things from - sheer want of thought. If Mr. Worrall had remained silent no end of Australian mothers and fathers might have been ignorant to this day of the fact that other careers -were open To their children than that of a drunken scoundrel. The knowledge of those things is so useful that the rev. gentleman who uttered the sapient remark referred to might have gone a little further. Fo. instance, he might have added to his list of "undesirable pursuits for Australian babies on growing up,'' that of being dishonest villains, that of being untruthful ruffians, or even that of being thieving knaves. iYith a complete schedule of warnings like this any parent might reasonably 1m; expected to avoid tors such as Mr. Worrall seems to fear now. A DOUBTFUL CUKE, .he same clergyman whom 1 have referred to in the foregoing paragraph is reported lo have advocated a* a cure for poverty the turning, out. ©| even publican to clack *loas#. and of all their barmaids to become better women. I have been unable in the short time at mv disposal since reading the remarks of the Rev. Air. Worrall to ascertain whether publicans tire generally regarded a;? good crackers of stones. From my limited knowledge of them as a class, howrter. I should judge that they would be unfitted to that kind of work.' If that be so their labour would noti be profitable, and that weakens Mr. Worm IPs argument. As lor barmaids—well, after all, you know, sweet flowers sometimes grow in dark places. It is often the environment that is wrong, not the person who happens to be situated in it-. A MUCH-GOVERNED PEOPLE. The spirit of hostility evinced by certain ii our suburban local bodies to the Greater Auckland movement affords a striking illustration of one of the great weaknesses of the people of this country. This in the ■wer-apparent tendency towards -government. To be much-governed, rather than to bo well-governed, seems to be the aim of us New Ze.'ilanders. Here we are with a total population of only slightly over 900.000, and yet, if we include school committeex, we have, roughly speaking, about 2500 local bodies' of various kinds, with a total membership of about 14,000. Tln-so bodies, of course, arc quite separate arid distinct from the large and constantly increasing list of departments of the Civil Service, the numerical growth of which, like Tennyson's brook, seems destined to go on I'm ever. It may be granted that the members of all these bodies are actuated by an honest desire :o do their best tosudvatice the int. ic-ts of :lio-o whom they represent, but it can haldly b- doubted that the work-performed by the gic.'it multitude of counsellors could be not only nunc economically, but more efficiently, carried out by one-half or one-thiid of the number of bodies. There is a constant over-lapping of duties, and the division and frequent conflict of authority which is so often in evidence is the only natural result. The last issue of the New Zealand \ear Book supplies some interesting figure* as to the number of local governing bodies engaged in the great task of "controlling" this newly cieatcd Dominion. There were, when the latest returns were made up, 97 counties, each of which, with few exceptions, (such as: h'deu and Alaniikan) possesses a '•aunty council. In addition to these, countils, there aie upwards of 200 road boards and about 40 town boards, as well as a host of small country boroughs', all engaged in doing work thai surelv, might be entrusted to the county councils. The number of small borough* and the proportion with a population of only three figures, is a great feature of ilia penchant for over-govern-went There are in all some 103 municipalities in the two islands, and in no fewer than 22 instances the population is under JOCO, whilst in seven cases all the machinery of (lie Municipal Corporations Act is "'Heel into requisition for the government of less than 500 individuals! The absurdity of the whole thing, one would think, in this enlightened age. would h- as clear as the noon-day sun. but still the system of multiplication of bodies, which is'about as expensive ami muddled as it is possible to conceive, continues to flourish in the land. HAP UK A FISHING. Hapuka fishing is a very good spoil when :/OU catch hapuka, but when you don't, if is like going to see the play of "Hamlet," *ith the Prince of Denmark left out. And the Peepsinkers who chartered a steamer last week, and went out to the beat Bar■ier on Saturdav night to catch hapuka, han't catch aiiv worth speaking of- -the. tish wasn't taking' any. But the fishermen -'looked sehmipper', of which there were Plough and to spare, so they had' plenty of K port. The absence of hapuka. however, w as a great disappointment to several Australians Oil board the Apanni. who had heard much of the excitement of hooking and spearing the giant of New Zealand waters, and were looking forward with keen interest to witnessing the spectacle. 'Iheir anticipations were whetted by the >o!ifid manner in which some 'f the Deep* sinkers spoke of an exceeding great haul. Ami they listened with awe to stories ot vion,'catches, adorned with picturesque detail of the way they were made. For 'in- hapuka fisher is' an enthusiast, and vervone lias his own method of angling V.r them. Some pin their faith to a. pariciilar brand of tackle or hook—all have heir favourite baits. "He'll bite at anything: ami the ranker if is the better lie ikes it," declared one Deeps inker. His friend differed from him, and advanced the k

I opinion that the hapuka, was a very epicure ' of fish, Mho would leave all other bait, for a nice fresh kahawai's head—the fresher the better. Another Deepsinker had quite ait original method for catching the big fellows. He displayed two flat stones, tied on to his line, with a running Klipknot. Between the stones was the baited hook, and some loose bad. The stones noted as a sinker, and when, they reached the bottom a quick jerk of the line released them, the bait dispersed in the water, and the line then begun to float upwards. The hapukaVs pail of the pro gramme was to make a dash at his last vanishing breakfast, and obligingly hook himself through the gills?. If this "is indeed 0 good way of catching the iish, the hapuka must feed alter lie American quick-lunch style. He would have to go hungry if he, didn't. • THE MYSTERY OF MIRTH. Why do people laugh when a fellow mortal is made to appear ridiculous? And'if tlio display is made in public, the greater the merriment. I have in my mind an entertainment in Auckland, where somebody is made a fool of every night. An old copy hook maxim used to read. "To ] laugh at the misfortunes of others betrays ; a base mind," and I'm afraid it is in this I connection that a great deal of the soi called " badness" of the world is to be found. After all, spontaneous mirth does not always want a cause: incongruities and com lasts provide material for many a chuckle, and laughter is a toe of worry, and that's a foe worthy of disarming. The laughter of a child is the sweetest thing on earth; like the wind, it goeth where it listed), and springs from causes entirely superficial. I believe if if were possible to choose from the gifts the gods bestow as in olden mythology, that most to be desired would be the ability to cause laughter. Who doesn't want to/be a humorist at some time of his life ;' it means popularity and pleasant places. And if we deny the soft impeachment we won't be believed, for human nature is pretty much the same in all of us, and all that's left is to confess it. We laugh at feminine 1 impersonations as depicted on the stage, because of the undercurrent of truth in the travesties : we smile at masculine weaknesses, too, because we've felt the same, but, of course, have never looked quite so. MAORI CHARACTER. There are- phases of the Maori character which are amusing. A lady of the race, accompanied by a diminutive boy, toiled slowly up Shortland-street the other day, the mother hot and apathetic, the boy eager and wilful. Presently his attention was directed to a. shop window in which post-cards were arrayed in all their variety and blaze of colour, and he darted across the road to voyage and explore, leaving his mother stationary on the footpath. AH doubt as to whether it was worth the while of the elderly party to follow him was soon disposed of. In a few moinents..J.hc youngster was at her side again, remarking, "They're onlyMaoris Come on'"""The dusky lady smiled tolerantly, and they turned the corner and sought the shade. THE POOR OF ENGLAND. So Mr. John" Burns thinks that the poor of England are very well off! He is reported to have said, in speaking against the Unemployed Bill, that "no other country (than Great Britain) would have spent so much in the relief of the poor, nor would the people have interested themselves so whole-heartedly to assist the indigent.' Dear me, how conditions must have changed in the Homeland since J was a lad! There was no such "whole-hearted" interest in the poor in those days. I remember pretty vividly having seen more than one woman dressed in nothing but a shawl and skirt lying in the dead of winter on a seat in Hyde Park. 1 have seen, too, little boys starving and half-frozen to death wandering about the snow-covered streets, carrying babies; as, thin and weak and ill-clad as themselves, and glad of.an archway- under which to spend the night. But, never mind. Mr. John Burns says the poor are. well looked after now. and no doubt lie, knows. It I is very gratifying to hear it from such an i authority, because socialists do make such a bobbery about poverty and what it is responsible for. N THE KAISER'S LETTER. "The incident, is over" said His Nibs reflectively, " But it's wonderful bow big the Kaiser's mouth is. Never opens it, you may say. but what there's room for his foot. Of course, he never meant any harm in writing to Lord Thingimmybob about the British navy. His breeding is too good for that. But all the same, his foot goes into his mouth, just as if he was doing an acrobatic feat. Is it likely, 1 ask. that the Kaiser would do anything underhand in order to limit Britain's .shipbuilding programme? Why it's only a month or two since he visited England, just to show his love for it. 1 wouldn't' be a King or -Emperor for all the gold in Waihi. If be looks straight ahead of him there's folks who say he's planning a deep-laid scheme, iind if he happens to look sideways there's folks who says it portends disaster. And if he writes a private letter to a British Minister there's those who Icok for molives, and say 'Tell it in Oath and publish it, Out with it! We know him. Made in Germany! Let's see it!"' Just as if William, by the Grace qi Cod. Emperor of Germany, didn't have enough to look after at home, and wanted to conquer England? Let 'em call Lord Esher names. That's nothing! If the Kaiser goes on building Dreadnoughts while Britain takes a rest [Suit's nothing! If lie lectures his officers and says ''Trust in God and keep your powder dry, and sharpen your swords'— that's nothing! He's a peaceful man, is William, full of wise saws maybe, but very peaceful, and if Joint Bui! or his son's sing 'We don't want to tight, but by Jingo if we -that's not hint,*! Or it the British Navy League insists on keepin" up tin- two-Power standard—that's nothing. And if even the National Defence Lea"ue in New Zealand goes on inereaein" its brandies and membership—that's nothing! Not till the time comes, and the. drums beat, an' the cannon roar; and then preparedness is everything. For the present, Cod bless the Emperor of Germany!" 'Phi; (II'SKHAL.