WHY SHOULD NOT THE GIRL PROPOSE?

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIV, Issue 13624, 18 December 1907, Page 9

WHY SHOULD NOT THE GIRL PROPOSE ?

CAN SHE NOT TELL WHEN HE IS IN LOVE WITH HER? A PAGE FROM A PRIVATE DIARY. [The writer of the journal from which these extracts are taken was a man of unusual penetration and originality of thought.] Oifß house-party so far has been an unqualified successto all outward intents and purposes —but I am inclined to think that there are one or two inward heartburnings as the result of it all. Of course, in a big old house like this all the young people are bound to be thrown together—it's what they are here for, after all— I hope little Elsie Winterton is not going to break her heart over Guy Spencer. How is a girl, after all, to know what a man means unless he tells her? People always say that a girl can tell whether a man is in love with her. I don't believe it. In the olden days, when if you spoke twice to a woman you were as good as married, it may have been true, but nowadays, with all the camaraderie that exists between men and girls, I do not see how any girl can know whether a man's evident attention to her is meant to be frienship or love. Of course, if the girl's deepest feelings are not touched, then she can just comfortably "sit tight," so to speak, and enjoy his society, whenever he's about, and generally make him useful. If she knows she would never really care for him, she will, if she is the best type, let him see that he is on the wrong tack; but probably, in this -conscious age, she will not worry to think about the future, but will take things as they come, putting off possiblo problems until they are Hung directly at her. No. The problem lam trying to think out for Elsie is this. Supposing a girl sees that, though «i man has never told her that he wants to many her, yet he is rapidly becoming the only man in the World for her, can she in any way, without giving herself away, get at his feelings ? ' 1 do not think she can as society stands ; and herein life is,hard to a woman; sho has simply to sit and wait ', she cannot even, as a rule, run away. A man, if he finds himself getting too fond of a girl and yet with his future to make and no chance of marrying, can always honourably go to her and say that there is nothing for him to do but to vanish— the converse is impossible. A girl has to bear the strain of constant intercourse with the man who is becoming everything to her, and more and more each time she meets him, while any moment she knows he may "ride away." I think a frightful lot of nonsense is talked about the impropriety of girls falling in love before they are asked. Why should they not, under any circumstances? But to-day when a man can freely pay a girl much attention without comment, why should sUch attentions not appeal to her. She may well take them as seriously meant, and, in truth, if she be mistaken, she pays heavily for her error. i . „ .. , , How much— infinitely much—perplexity and trouble might be saved, if only the girl might propose ! TO THE UNENGAGED GIRL. There are two unmarried girls among the group assembled here that particularly compel my attention. Pollie Fane is a real flirt. She has not much mind behind, she is very pretty in the " pink and white, masses or fair hair" style, and her whole business in life is to attract men. She is not unsuccessful, but I fancy that the men who hang around her arc quite conscious that she makes an admirable companion for a Canadian canoe or a dance, but that the permanence of home life would not bo her metier. That's the worst of a flirt. If a girl will so obviously meet a mart more than half-way, he loses the pleasure of hunting, and man is a primeval savage still in spite of his top-hat and patentleather boots, and, further, he is never quill) sure that if he marries her sho will in it go on playing the same games after the wedding. The ordinary man docs not want a turbulent home; lie wants peace, and therefore I think several men hero will amuse themselves with Pollie, but I do not think any que of them will want to marry her. ■ . . Muriel Bruce is quite a different type. She is as near the ideal girl as anything I have ever seen. She has plenty of brains, and can talk well to men on the bigger things that interest them. I heard her on politics the other night. Chatting quietly with Conistonhe is an intending candidate at the next election—it was not the empty babble of a woman who knows nothing about it and is palpably drawing a man out on his hobby; it was a clever girl genuinely interested in an interesting topic. Coniston is shrewd enough to know the difference, and he put forth his best efforts. Pollio Fane thinks she interests Coniston. Sho does not dream of what Coniston can be at his best. And yet Muriel is no blue-stocking. She dresses well, and has all a woman's love of clothes, and though she has plenty of women friends I am sure she is quite conscious of the subtle charm of the society of the opposite sex.