PUNCH ON NEW ZEALAND'S DEFEAT.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 13095, 7 February 1906, Page 1 (Supplement)

PUNCH ON NEW ZEALAND'S DEFEAT.

PrxCH has a somewhat ponderously humorous article on the defeat of the New Zealand footballers by Wales, in which the writer professes to attempt to explain the causes of that defeat after the fashion of the tone adopted by certain writers in England with reference to the previous successes of the Now Zealand footballers. After dealing with Welsh players. Flinch sav-:—

'"Turning to the New Zealandcr.--, we have to ask ourselves whether the qualify of degeneracy (a term usually employed in explanation of British defeats) can fairly be predicated of so young a race. lam rather inclined to attribute their debacle to arretted development. But it is not to their history and traditions (-till in the elementary stages of construction) that we mustlook- for the causes of this arrest, but rather to natural environment and social and political institutions. Under the first head J have only time to mention the geysers, or boiling springs, vhich are a feature of those unfortunate islands. I know of nothing more enervating than a geyser. No country that, produces them has over become a First-da- Power without a desperate struggle. Iceland has geyser-, and that is where the Prodigal Son came from. Further, in New Zealand, as in Iceland, you have those extremes of heat and cold which are so injurious to Ihe system: (ieysers at. one end of the thermometer and Frozen Lamb tit the other. Then there is the institution of Female .Suffrage. Where the women of a nation become men, its men are apt ro become women. No less a person than Xerxes is my authority for this generalisation, based on a remark let fall by him. from a safe distance, at the battle of Salamis. Finally, in the person of the Right Hon. Richard Seddon, New Zealand's ideal figure, we have a standard of physical culture which makes for national obesity. His bodily dimensions (quite apart from his tendency to mental tumidity) cannot, hut have exerted a baleful influence upon his loyal subjects, discouraging that abstinence and self-restraint which are essential to a perfect training, ami more than counterbalancing the admirable example offered by the -vclte and almost ascetic figure of the Hon W P. Reeves, High Commissioner lor the colony. These, drawbacks notwithstanding—and, after all, though the footballers of Now Zealand may have had a hand 111 the establishment of Female .Suffrage, Frozen Lamb, and Mr. Seddon. yet they cannot, lie held responsible for their 1 remier's proportions, nor for the beysers— 1. must believe that this promising young eountrv, by strict attention to its physique. will eventually distinguish itself and send out. a combination worthy to^ cross shins with the all-conquering (.'ymry.

Here is a grim story, showing the 5111.0 of the "heathen Chinee." One day iJecnus Spencer, a prominent criminal attorney ol Napa, received a call from a Chinese who, without circumlocution, at once put .Ins question:' " Splose, Mr. Spencer, one Chinaman kill 'nother Chinaman wlith hatchet, how much you chlarge make him Hear " Oil," «ii<l the lawyer, carelessly, "I'd take the ease for 500 dollars In about a week the Chinaman returned and laid the .sum of SCO dollars on Mr. Spencers desk. -'What's this tor.' asked the lawyer. "You say you lake case lor 000 dollar."," explained the Oriental. A light hurst upon Mi Spencer. Horrified, he exclaimed, -You mean to tell me that since 1 saw you last one of your countrymen has been killed?" -Certainly, calmly answered the Chinaman. "1 kill him lust oight I"

Mf.s. K. Daly, who after eight years' medical work in Afghanistan, returned to England a, short time ago, has provided an artist with material from which the accompanying

! sketch was prepared. By the Ameer's Firman. Mrs. Daly held the post of medical officer to the Afghan Government, and was appointed by the Ameer Abdurrahman