ODD STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XL, Issue 12271, 15 May 1903, Page 3

ODD STORIES.

STUDENT'S ACCOUNT. Once upon a time : a young man who was attending college drew on Lis father for money much more frequently than the old gentleman thought necessary. Finally the father demanded that the son send him a statement of the various items for which he had spent money, and when he received the account he was very much surprised at the charitable disposition that the boy had developed, for it contained many items of liberal proportions that showed payments for support of the Church, for food* and clothing for the poor, and for the aid of numerous charities. Moral: Charity covers a multitude of sins. KEPT BOTH CANDIDATES BUSY. Mark Twain, in the course of a talk on politics at the Authors' Club, in. New York, the other day. told a good story of two men he used to know when he was a boy. He said, as quoted in the New York Tribune : —

"I never went in much for polities. I've known lots of men that did, though. When I was a boy I knew two men, ' Bob' Smith and Caleb Brown, that went in for politics body and soul.

"' Once they were running for sheriff — ' Bob' on one ticket. Caleb on the other— and a pretty hot fight it was that they put up. There was nothing those two men wouldn't do to capture a vote. "' Bob,' on the day oi: election, hurried after breakfast to the hotel that was the polling-place. He saw in front of the building an elderly farmer, wrestling with a stubborn cow. The cow pulled one way, and the farmer, grunting and growling, pulled the other. "'My friend,' says 'Bob,' ldo you want me to hold your cow so you can go inside and vote'."

"'Why, yes, Mr. Smith, if you'd be so kind,' the farmer answered, and ' Bob' grabbed the cow by the horns and braced himself against a tree. But the cow, for all his bracing, pulled him about, at a lively rate. She dragged him up and down the road and flung him from one sidewalk to the other. He could hear a lot of laughing from the hotel porch, for- a pretty big crowd had gathered to see him earning a vote.

" Finally the fanner returned, relieved him of the cow and thanked him. ' You're welcome, friend,' says ' Bob,' and then, he added, anxiously: 'I suppose you haven't, been approached—er — suppose you haven't seen my rival, Caleb Brown, around, here this morning?' "' Why, yes,' the farmer answered. ' Mr. Brown is behind the barn holding a calf foi me now.'" DRAGOONS. A friend who met Dr. Fairbairn at, a large Oxford dinner party fells a contributor to the Morning Leader that the veteran principal of Mansfield College kept the table merry with his anecdotes. He told with inimitable gravity the old tale of the "great dragoon in heaven." His version was that a minister, belated and storm-driven, found shelter in the house of a Covenanting woman. After retiring to rest in an inner room, he heard the old woman and her granddaughter at. family worship. The girl, slowly spelling out the words of Scripture, read that " a great dragoon appeared in heaven." "Impossible, Linny," said the old woman.: " there never yet was a dragoon in heaven." " But, granny, it's spelt d-r-a, dra x g-o-n, goon, dragoon." "Weel, it's the word of God bairn; read on," said the astonished grandmother, whose mind was full of the cruelties practised by the dragoons of Olaverhouse. Presently the child read, "And the great dragoon was cast out." " Did I not say sae, Linny?" cried the old lady, in high delight. "There'll lie nae dragoons in heaven, I'se warrant ye."