LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIX, Issue 11986, 7 June 1902, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

? ... » «*• have audience for a word or two." ffcei me na¥e " -Shakespere. Nr { r om what was said by some of ■ ;'Speakers at the annual "At Home" of ■ Z Auckland Naval Artillery Volunteers, '■'■' W h 'was a successful function, there 7 !° deal' of dissatisfaction with the De*L> -Department, owing to delays in get- *- matters attended to, and in red-tapeism. IT Fowlcls complained, of the unsatisfac- • state of the defences of the colony, and tol ' V „f the most unsatisfactory items was the S'fence Department. The strain which had En put ui>» n it by the sending of C ° ntiU " ts to South' Africa was made the excuse £!. /rood deal of bungling. The wonder is Ail considering the things which are sub- ' f gossip the volunteer movement is in j a way'as it is, as there is little in- i dement to men to give their tune and ser- | " > s for the benefit of the country in the ; . volunteer corps. ' T he situation on Peace Day reminds me ,' ! j the Commissioners at the Treaty of Ghent-" everybody was pleased but nobody L proud." In passing along the streets I IT ' te ihl Union -Tack floating over a number , "' f tombstones, and it set me thinking that If fl „ in far awav South Africa was waving l the Xles* graves. Still the one thought '■-':SSch reined to pervade every breast was - V out of all the misery and horrors extr>'L,fd on both sides may arise better •■■' '.f«r poor distracted South Africa, One '' ' £1- noets has told us that there are worse ■■'""ttiSi than war-the peace which is no '■•_'' Fortunately, the men who are at IS helm of British affairs were willing to ... fit'so long as honour demanded that the :■ "word should remain unsheathed, for— : peace is no peace if it lets the ill grow 1 «£*" / .tine destiny a very little longer: its agonies, its horrors, and its ■ : whfawJr if discounted and taken up betimes. 'Kn the weeds of wrath are rank you must '- : iiAiK-h the poisoned bank. . '.flow and reap the crop of Peace with the implements of War. The peace celebrations in Auckland were ■on the go-as-you-please arrangement Atone -restaurant when the waitresses heard '■ V)V first note of the firebell and church bells I thev went out into the backyard and rung i the' establishment's hand bells for all they r:; were worth. Some of the patrons thought that it was the call to table, but were unA deceived. The various methods in which the "Red, White, and Blue" was displayed I were most ingenious and diversified. Some ; of the ladies used the tri-colour as a girdle. • Carters, 'bus drivers, and tram-car drivers, I ■■-not content with having the heads of the i 1 -horses adorned with ribbons and flags, had 1 :'• ■: also made the tails a " thing of beauty and a 1 iov for ever." One could almost imagine ■ that some of the horses as they pranced 1 along bedecked, were conscious of the imI portance of the occasion. Some curiosity I was felt in Ponsonbv at the church bell of fit John's being mute amid the general ; ; rejoicings, cs the Methodists are among the ;.■<»* ■tost loyal of the loyal. It appears that on i . Sunday" night some enthusiastic bellnnger i ''•••■'pulled" the bell over, and it was difficult to I : please the rope in the belfry at short notice. I However, though the bell did not ring out 1 the worshippers at that church were as glad | and as hearty in their celebrations at the 1 advent of peace as any of their fellow-Chris-I -',-Aiians. At one humble dwelling, in default I\ ■ if a flagstaff a couple of clothes-props flankI l ■ ed the door, on each of which flew-the 1 \ * meteor flag," and the rejoicing at that I Some was as hearty as at the most lordly I ■ mansion in the city. | ; Last Sunday evening, the Rev. W. Ready. ; | .of St. John's, Ponsonby, discoursed upon I - '.'The Gospel of the Newspaper." from the i 1 passage, '" Manv shall run to and fro, and. §' knowledge shall be increased." The preach--1 m?ti said that we owed much in the way of I knowledge to the missionary and the travel--1 fer, " hut the great factor in the increase of 1 ■>■ knowledge to-day was the newspaper, which 1 : ' focussed the news 'of the world daily, and I presented it to the reader, giving an exposi ''l tion of God's dealings with men. he news--1 paper,. as did the Bible, gave accounts of I ' " gambling, of murders, of jealousies ; m fact, I mirrored the whole life of the. people, and If the workings of the human heart. As the I Parliament was to some extent the echo of •J the people so the press was the echo of the 1 ' people. " There might be some things in the 9 papers they did riot like, but they would H cerer get an ideal press till they got an ideal reading public. The press catered to a 1 \ popular demand, and what the people wantI :■■ ed thev would have. Sheldon and Dr. Park--1 er had endeavoured to ran ideal papers, but thev proved failures, and thoy admitted ' that their efforts had proved unsuccessful. Taken on the whole the press accomplished ' a noble and useful mission, and its influence Was generally exerted on behalf of what was i right. The preacher spoke in commenda- \ tory terras, for example, of the Herald S 1 leading articles on the Costley Homo and on I the Bible in schools, and of the outspoken 1 '/.^language in the Dnnedin press on medical M ethics in a recent case. P ' ■ ______

I . With regard to the Costley Home Mr. 1 m-. Eeadv stated that he had had occasion to 1 > i lold'a funeral service at the Home, in the I •;. case of a deceased inmate. He was sur--1 prised to find that the coffin was made up I :XX simply of sawn timber, and appeared to be lEimply of sawn timber, and appeared to be Undressed. There was no sign of black, save I ; :,at the seams of the boards and edges, and 1 Fhich were covered over by some black sub- ,| ."v-'vfrtance, whereas in the workhouses of the I Country the coffins were always black. J X . The coffin was not sciewed down, but nailed t] down. There was only the nndertakei, or I X? contractor for the funeral, with himself in I -'the room, and he asked that functionary to I :■',■■.,'• get Country the old people to come into the %6 coffin was not screwed down, but muled down. There was only the undertaker, or contractor fm the funeral, with himself in the room, and he asked that functionary to get a iew of the old people to come into the I :>. room while the .service was being held, M -V which he did. In some things the English H; ■workhouses were an improvement on the H; ; :v Cwtley Home system. MX-- "'•''':" — . . •

i ■■ Xl observe that Mr. P. A. Philips makes a H suggestion j„ a Svdnev papei that is more II observe that Mr. P. Philips makes a suggestion in a Sydney papei that is more suited to this colony than to tiny other. I What we want, according to Mr. Philips, is | :.' an "entertaining Minister," whoseduty it I '.'"■ should be to preside at all picnics, lunches i dinners, first sods, foundation-stones, ad I ~. infinitum. This would give the other M Ministers time to attend to the business of II the State, instead of being constantly in the |fi Public function and general advertising path. M This Ministerial business, with us has been J mostly discharged by our Premier. It has .|| i\": .been so all along. "I remember, not long f'j ' after The Ministry came into office, remark- ;"." ing to Mr. Ballance that he had not been so II x: • prominent at banquets as Mr. Seddon, his I |; ' then Minister for Public Works. He said I •'"' that he did not care about banquets, and .Id that they always made him ill, that the smoking which was alwavs indulged in ,| affected him most injuriously. With most I s *.' Culpable boldness I remarked that I sup;;B posed that it had been agreed by the U Cabinet that banqueting was a "Seddontary fi '.' , function.

I . 11 The Chief Justice is said to have admonI • übed'police officers in drawing up lniorma--1 . tions in the following terms:—"l uo not 4| 'IK f< Know wbv they should not follow the words ol (s the Statute, 'instead of attempting to im- ' I ' .'prove on the phraseology of the Legislature. I , Some time ago, under" a previous ponce >m >j*" Regime, the constables were encouraged to I 1 $:> study the laws, and passed certain exaimna- | JLjg tions. It may be that fortified by such "?| Knowledge that they feel satisfied they could ■'if f& | m prove. upon the phraseology of the LegisI. The especially seeing the to have admonished police officers in drawing up informations in the following terms:—"l do not Know why they should not follow the words ot the Statute, "instead of attempting to improve on the phraseology of the Legislature. Borne time ago, under a previous police jtegime, the constables were encouraged to study the laws, and passed certain examinations. H may be that fortified by such Knowledge that they feel satisfied they could improve upon the phraseology of the Legislature, especially seeing the holes which are § picked in the Statutes by magistrates, lawyers, 'etc.,' the latter especially driving the .mi > proverbial coach and four through them. ;"f I ;|ll; } a one of our Courts recently a prisoner was In charged with being "helpless drunk," at Hi Cv^ 1 least so says the report. This is an aggra--111 minion of simple drunkenness. Possibly the || fy. ~" Prisoner vt a* " paralytic" drunk, or " speechless" drunk. There are so many delicate yis[^ : ;^ sna of that state of mind and body Plllw that I offer some of them towards a solution ■ fjj Pi thi problem., ' Mekotjiio.