LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXVI, Issue 11200, 21 October 1899, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

let me have audience for a word or two. —Shakewere. The recent scene in the House of Representatives shows the stage of degradation to which Parliament has sunk, and the legislature which was wont to point with unctuous pride to its own respectability, as compared with Australian legislatures, is now known as "the frightful example." Just before the French Revolution of 1848, a Parisian ouvrier told his comrade who was abusing him, "You may call me anything but a peer of France." It' only requires a few more episodes, of the "monkey" type to cause the average elector to say, " You may call me anything but a member of Parliament." The position is getting below the level of " the new J.P." After such a disreputable scene, I think an apology ought to be made to the monkey, as the association of his name with such discreditable proceedings is likely to do serious injury to his character. It is related that an American stood for some post of honour, and his candidature was thus referred to by one of the papers: "This scalawag has served his country two terms already: one in Congress, and one in the penitentiary." The irate candidate wrote to the journal to say that the latter charge was true, but he wished the former one contradicted, as it was calculated to injure his prospects. Fortunately, Sir Maurice O'Rorke, as Speaker, saved the House from itself, and the verdict of public opinion is, with regard to the House, "not guilty, but don't do it again," giving the monkey the benefit of the doubt. Even the serene atmosphere of " the Lords" has been invaded with personal recriminations of a somewhat heated character, and the Upper House is following the bad example of the Lower. To speak of " a lord," as " the rejected of the people, shovelled into the Council," shows that somebody ought to read Chesterfield's letters on "Politeness." It shows the way popular opinion is trending concerning Parliament, that this week a man was brought up who was suspected of lunacy, the ground being that he spoke of standing for Parliament! His neighbours thought the force of madness could no farther go. Even the magistrate seemed to think that " there was something in it." The members of the Women's Political League were real " mad" this week. They read in the papers that there was a supposed deficiency at Bellamy's of £500, although £1000 was paid a few years ago to wipe off the then deficit. In reply to Mr. Meredith's inquiry, the Premier, it was said, had conjectured that such a result arose " through cheap drinks," and the League is now inquiring into those cheap drinks, their number, and whether any were got" on the nod." The " Saints," at Ponsonby, it appears on the authority of Canon Caider, have been praying till further orders for peace, since the Boer trouble, and although they have prayed as hard as they can, they have not been able to stop the progress of the war. Notwithstanding their bad luck "they are still in hopes that Sir Redvers Buller may be stopped," which just goes to show how optimistic the " Saints" are. In trying to stop "the Buller Lion" they have got a big contract on. Canon Caider says, "for my part I wouldn't be sorry if he were stranded outside the Cape." If the augurs have divined correctly, it is not Buller who will be stranded, but, rather, the Vicar of Ponsonby who will be left "high and dry," in the progress of events. Lord Salisbury once said of Mr. Gladstone that he was A patriot of the world alone, The friend of every country but his own. His imitators have not died out yet. If Canon Caider had' but endured one-half the indignities that our kith and kin have endured in the Transvaal, as told by people in our midst who suffered them, he is just the man who would resent it, and would not waste much time in praying about the business of obtaining redress. v - have been gushing over the old settlers, who some of them went back as far as 1830, but a man was drowned the other day in Picton harbour, James Heberley, who gives them all points. According to the published statements, he had known New Zealand intimately for 72 years, having come to the Bay of Islands in a whaler in 1827. He was in Queen Charlotte Sound in 1830, and was familiar with Rauparaha, to which blood-thirsty savage he owed his life. Rauparaha threw his cloak over him just in the nick of time to save him from a Waikato tomahawk upraised to brain him. Sixty years ago he piloted Captain Wakefield and his party in the Tory to Port Nicholson, thus witnessing the first dawn of colonisation in the purchase of Wellington for a miscellaneous cargo, including slates and slate pencils and Jews' harps and beads. He was the first man, as guide to Dr. Dieffenbach, the naturalist of Wakefield's expedition, to ascend Mount Egmont. Fortunately, he had been engaged for some time in compiling notes for an autobiography, and before he died arrangements had been made for their publication, which should give us another page in the history of New Zealand. When I read Dr. Bakewell's letter on "Nurses at the Seat of War," I felt sure that the week would not pass over the doctor's head until he felt the truth of the maxim, that " Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward." After being rasped down by the chief of the Red Cross Brigade, he probably is now making mental inquiries as to whether life is worth living— is to say for "an R. H. Bakewell.' Dr.^ Bakewell in his tender moments asks, "What sympathy or kindness can a mail of my age expect from a young woman?" Women know chalk from cheese, and the chief has the ready answer, which must demolish all his hopes, " For a man with the small capa- . city of Dr. Bakewell's mind I unhesitatingly answer: None! either from young or old, and I consider it great presumption on his part even to expect it." Rising to the height of her great argument, it is first proposed to lynch the doctor, then, taking a leaf out of an Old Book, it is proposed to " put him in the forefront of the battle," in South Africa, and await the delicious pleasure of seeing him " finished off." I notice that Dr. Bakewell lias collie up to time, though not " smiling." He writes his second missive from "a dying bed, though not with a death-bed repentance. As he veiy justly observes, he is pot responsible for the smallness of his mental capacity, any more than he is for" the gigantic mental powers of Mrs. —that is not his fault, but his misfortune." Evidently Dr. Bakewell has forgotten his Scott, or he would remember that the poet says: 0 woman in our hours of ease, Uncertain, coy, and hard to please, When pain and anguish wrings the brow, A ministering angel thou. I remember a notable case, which was heard in the Police Court, where it came out that an amatory gentleman was suffering from sore throat, and he was recommended to try " a sleeve round his neck with an arm in it. The doctor is fond of curative medical experiments, and should try this experiment , for his liver or a dose of Bile Beans. It is to be hoped that the salutary fines inflicted upon some reckless bicyclists, in which a child was knocked down in the Karangahape Road, will impress these gentry with a belief that the Queen's highway is not exclusively devoted to " scorchers, but that Her Majesty's lieges who travel on foot have some little claim for consideration. Speaking from personal observation, I may say that there is scarcely a day <n which some cyclist could not be prosecuted for" scorching "in Karangahape Road, ronstnby and Jervois Roads. The two latter thoroughfares are simply practising grounds, and when somebody has been killed. the U., stable door will be locked as usual. bicyclists, like other people, have their rights y' and privileges, All that is asked is that «>"; they will not abuse them. 'U' ii I- We scarcely know the value .of, the literary xK. feasures in our Free Public Library and in jfe V.

the Grey Collection. A Shakespere, first folio, was recently sold in London, at Christies, for £1700. The first and second folios are in the Free Public Library. Some steps should be taken by the city authorities to put on record all that is known about the urey Collection before those who have the knowledge have passed away. Perhaps Mr. bnilhngton, the librarian, from his frequent conversations, and almost daily intercourse with Sir George Grey (during his later residence m Auckland), has as good a knowledge of the Grey Collection as any of our citizens.

The anti-federationists are never weary of stating that New Zealand will lose its individuality, and become absorbed in Australia. Here is a good instance, as showing by the auolition of the provinces over a quarter of a century ago, how Auckland has lost its individuality. The Rev. Hugh Kelly, while presiding at a meeting of the Sundayschool Union, this week, suggested that a Colonial Conference of Sunday-school teachei'3 should be held at Wellington, to discuss Sunday-school work. The words were scarcely out of his lips, when a yell arose, "No, not Wellington, but Auckland." "All," said the seraphic Hugh, " I should not have remembered that Wellington is the geographical centre of the colony. Be it so, then, Auckland!" And again history repeated itself. " See how these Christian's love one another!" Some time ago certain Scripture examinations were held in connection with a religious organisation, and tho reports of the examiners are right into the hands of the Bible-in-Schools party, as showing the ignorance of the young— young even of our Sunday-schools—of the Bible as a lesson or historical book. One would think the youngsters would at least be able to spell the name of Judas Iscariot, at' all events, who betrayed the Saviour of Mankind, Here are some of the attempts at wrestling with the name of Judas:— Judos, Judis, Jtises, and Judhus. Iscariot came out of the mill in this fashion —Iscorit, l6carrot, Iscariout, and Ascariot. | I give some of the specimens of Scriptural lore (I am told the exceptions). Some of the examples might do for a public school or civil service examination: — ''Mary had tho ointment ovor since His Crucifixion;" "Jesus said to Peter, 'Put thy sword into thy sheath, thai I may drink of My cup no more;" "Jesus said to Mary, 'Reverent,' and she know him at once;" "Pilate was a very bad man, and gave Jesus a very bad character;" "When Mary was anointing Jesus, Judas told her to go away and not bother tho Lord;" "Mary ; rolled away the stone, and appeared first to Christ;" "Judas said unto Mary, 'Where are tho servants to anoint Jesus' feet,' rnd Jesus said, ' I am the way, the truth, and the life;'" "Judas liked to have the money that ho might give it to poor people;" "Whilst Christ was before Pilate, a wicked person cut off one of Peter's oars;" "Christ first appeared to the Virgin Mary, the wifo of Cleopheous;" "Tho Last Supper was called the last because it was tho last I Lazarus sat at the table and Martha served." The account of. Christ making provision for His mother is thus given by one:—Christ's mothor came to anoint His body to the burial, and the Jews tried to slop her, but Jesus said, 'Let her alone, she lias come aforehand to anoint My body to tho burial,' ! and He said, 'Be not afraid, for I am the' I first and the last.' Ho washed her, and with ! alabaster oil He put on her, Ho then wiped ; her feet with His hair. This is what He did ! for His mother." Quito a number, says an ' examiner, slate that Pilato was tho high priest, and do not seem to comprehend the fact that Palestine was being governed by the Romans. What may happen to a parson was fitly exemplified in a church not a hundred miles from Auckland the other day. He was not feeling very well, and had secured the friendly services of a " local," to assist him in the service. When they got to the church and into the pulpit, the parson remembered that lie had forgotten to put in his false teeth. He sent aWayia small boy for them. When the boy returned, with the indiscretion of youth, lie carried the " set" up tho aisle, in view of the faithful, and gave the parson completely away. When they were handed up to the parson in the pulpit, he was rather averse to putting them in his mouth under the argus eyes of the young ladies, and with their sidelong glances, so he said to the " local," " Brother | — you pray while I get them in!" As all heads were bowed, the parson whipped his artificial molars into their place, and felt once more his hearers could not say of him that "his bark was worse than his bite." It is not to be wondered at that the participation of so many of our New Zealand youth in the hostilities at the Transvaal should have called forth the enthusiasm of those poetically inclined. Here is STIRKUP-SONG FOR THE NEW ZEALAND CONTINGENT. On to the front, boys, and into the battle, Though shot may be hailing and musketry rattle. Into the battle wherever it rage, By tho help of the mighty, we'll stoutly engage. With a cheer for old England and England's dear Queen, Our aim shall be true and our lanco shall thrust keen. Into tho stirrup, boys, np, and away, There's work to be done, and we'll do It to-day. Into the battle! with loyalty longing To help the Home country and right all her wronging; Afrikanders and Boers, who her glory disdain, , . . , We'll fight to maintain it again and again! Into the battle's stern joy shall enhance Tho flame ready kindled— Zealand's advance! Into the stirrup, boys, up, and away, England for ever, and ever, we say. Into the battle, boys, rush all aglowing, Though life may be threatened and blood may be flowing, We'll go in our strength with our arms or our lives. For the honour of mothers, and sweethearts, and wives— Into the battle with rifle and lance; Old England for ever! New Zealand advance! Into the stirrup, boys. up. and away. New Zealand is coming to help in the fray! Into the stirrup, and on to the field, Never a moment to flinch or to yield, Hot vengeance pursuing o'er kopjo and veldt, The wrath of the Briton shall an*-' be felt. Then. up. boys, and at them, while sternly we cry: " We do and we dare, we'll conquer or die. Then into the stirrup, boys, np, and away, There's work to be done, and we'll do it today! JOYCE JOCBIiYN, Auckland, October 15, 1899. Mebcutio.