UNCLE KRUGER.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXVI, Issue 11149, 23 August 1899, Page 3

UNCLE KRUGER.

« "You are old, "Uncle Kruger," J. Chamberlain said. ~ , . "Yet you still try to prove black is white, And also incessantly knock on the head What even the Germans think right.

"Long ago," Uncle Kruger replied to his friend, "I feared it might injure my purse. But. now my monopolies pay me no end, _ Why, I merely become worse and worse. " Yon are good," said the other, " with piety

burn. , „ And Truth is your dearest ally, Yet right about face you repeatedly turn, ' And break all your promises; why? "O, you see," said the sage, "it is easily done— , Palm oil makes one's tongue very supple; I take it in pounds, at the least taking one, If possible, taking a couplo.' " You are dull," said bright Joe, " and your wits must be weak, Yet you speechify after the fashion > Conscientious objectors dispute with a, beak; Pray, why put yourself in a passion " Yearß ago," said Oom Paul, " when you laid down the law. And sent your respects to my wire, _ Those arguments showed me how useful is

' jaw;' „ „ I'll talk for tho rest of my life. " You are shrewd," said the other, " there seems little green, Or Convngham Greene, in your eye, _ Yet you balanced yourself on a 'wire; have you seen That Rhodes runs the wire by-and-by? " I have answered three questions quite truly, off-hand," Said Kruger, " at least I have tried. Don't mind what you hear from the folks on the Rand, At present they're quite satisfied,"