LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIV, Issue 10419, 17 April 1897, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

"Let tee have audience for a word or two." —Shalnivtri. Kews from Wellington tells us that the ladies there are making zealous efforts at the conversion of the unfortunate man Bosher, who is condemned to death for the murder of Mr. and Jlrs. Jones, at Petone. He has been supplied with tracts enough to keep him in reading for many years to come, if he had the privilege of enjoying life for that time. So far, probably, not much harm will be done; but also, probably, not much good. A prisoner in bis circumstance; has the assistance of the prison chaplain, and other clergymen if necessary, and to have a number of other people pouriug their ideas of religion into hie ear will only distract him. But tho edministration of justice in the empire should be saved the scenes we read of in the United States, where a condemned murderer is the darling of all the ladies in tho community. They interview him in bevies every day, and lavish upon him perfumes, and bouquets of choice flowors, and cigars. We have not got that length yet, hut no one kuows what will result from the cause of progress and Liberal legislation.

I have no doubt that many of my readers will be anxious to have the recipe of Jlr. Hooley as to how to make money. Hβ has been interviewed on the subject, and has taken the public into his confidence thus :— "There's nothing very wonderful about the way I've made money. It's not a question of luck; it's a matter of extremely hard work. 1 put in sixteen hours a day, and I never tried to drink, smoke, and work at the samo time. It can't bo done. Then I always make a point, also, of going to bed at ten o'clock—quito late enough if you want to get up fresh and eager for business in the morning. I always like to bo up early, and get a little bit in front of everyone else. That's the whole sflcret. , . The average city man of to-day is an easy-going sort of chap. Making money is more a matter of will and self-sacrifice than of luck or of brains." I do-not know whether the observance of these rules will enable a man to become that superior species of animal, a millionaire, but they may havo somo effect in enabling him In go steadily and independently through life. But then in Now Zealand he would bo a criminal. lie must not work more than eight hours n day in any case. He must take a holiday on Wednesday afternoon, and on Saturdays he must go to see a football or cricket match or must attend a racing meeting. A man may go to bed at ten o'clock, that privilege is etill left to us, but it is quite impossible for him to get in front of anybody olso by rising early in the morning. Thero are indeed amongst us a number of men who think that it is possible to drink, smoke, and work at the same time, and it is quite eafe for them tu take Mr. Hooley's word for it that it cannot be done.

I am taken to task by a gentlotuan who writes from Kotorna, and who, judging by bit name, is a Highlander of the Highlanders, and therefore qualified to speak. He writes :— Dear Meroiitio,—You are evidently not 1 Highlander, as (like the majority of people) roil imagine the kilt and are two distinct articles, when in reality they are the same, the philabcg being the kilt. The general impression is that the philabeg is the sporran. In the first place, I suppose I must plead guilty to not being a Highlander, although most of my friends fancy that I am not far removed from that condition. 1 ought to liave said "sporran," and then I would Lave been safe. Literature does not give one niuch guidance in the peculiarities of Celtic costume. The lino Cam' y« by Athole, larl wi' the philabeg, is, I admit, rather against me, because a eporran without a Lilt would bo rather Bcant raiment. I will have to apply for instruction to one of tho Highlanders of our House of Representatives. Wo have there a somowhat varied lot. The pleasant Scobie probably it no better informed than I am myself. He claims to be a blade, or civilised Mackenzie, while John, the Minister of Lands, and Roderick, are red MoKenzies, belonging to the purely " savage " strain. I should hesitato to approach them for information. Those charming matrons who mot at Christchurch passed a resolution in favour of universal disarmament throughout the world. It is to bo hoped that tho sound of their voice will be heard, not only throughout the British Empire, but in Turkey, Greece, Russia, Germany, and France. But if they call upon men to abandon the idea of subduing their enemies by force, might they, in return, not be called upon to give up the practice of subduing men by artifice and beauty? For my own part, I think that women should continue agitating for their rights until they get all they think they are entitled to, before they commence upon a crusade of universal dis•rmament. That the new woman development has not quite extinguished feelings of tolerance for the little weaknesses of tho male animal is evidenced by the fact that tho ladies in terested in the Easter Carnival (which opens on Monday night next) have been magnanimous enough to provide a smokere' telephone, and weighing machines amongst the numerous earthly comforts and dolights to be obtained there for the asking ; that there is some connection between the weed and the weight has not hitherto been recognieed. The smoking habit is not banned or banished by the ladies of the Carnival, but actually encouraged. An elegant, Turkish divan is provided, and the luxurious emoker has merely to ring up, and out conios a lovely cigar, cigarette, or plug of the finest brand. Then the visitor can Stroll into the fairy grotto, and have his palmy future prognosticated by a fascinating gitana : The Art Exhibition of tho Society of Arts tbie season is especially stroug in portraiture, and the Southern artists divide tho honours with the Auckland Knights of the brush. A week or two ago I gave a poetical address by the late Robert Louie Siovensou to Signoi- Nerli, who went to Samoa to execute a portrait of the far-famed novelist, which is now by-the-way in Edinburgh. It was of n complimentary character. Mr. 3. M. Nairn, of Wellington, has executed an admirable portrait of Mr. D. 41. Luckie, formerly of Auckland, but now of Wellington, and the author of " The Raid of the Kaskowiski," Russian cruiser, having the divine afflatus strong upon him, composed the following clever parody of Stevenson's address, in one of his happiest if not luckiest moods, to Mr. Nairn: Jercns Nairn wanted me to "sit," Which Ra'e me great concern. " What for d'ye want a heart like mine C I speercd at Mister Nairn. " Awtel," said lie, "your face Is strong, You're kent where'er ye're farein'; A glide marked likoiie-s I can raak, That's why," quo' Mister Nairn. " A caricature it mamma be, But just a life-like picture; » A work to catch the critic's e'e, Disarming carping stricture. So sit ye doon in calm repose, As ye were in your study; Ne'er fash your thoom about your nose, I winns make it ruddy :- " Nor hard your face—a wee thocht sadThe kind glint in your e'e Will lighten up your countenance, As you shall shortly see. Tak tent an' look just like yoursel' As though for nocht you're carin, An' aye look steadily at me, That's a'," quo' Mister Nairn. Thk Result : A Few WeUks Uter. And now, at last, the task is done; Theßittin'sa'areower; The final touches crown a work That proves the artist's power. A portrait true the canvas snows, Life-like in all we see, And tho' 'Us "mute and motionless, Each gazer says, "'tis he." L'Envoi. Then fare-ye-well, my youthful friend, A lugta fame may you earn, Depicting Nature's varying moods ;- So, An revoir Janws Nairn. I understand that a well-knowu artist, Inet returned from Europe after an art •oar, laden with clusical art studies, bad

in amusing quarter of an hour with the Customs' officials. Their education in art has been neglected—they have never posed for "the altogether"—and scarcely know the difference between an oleograph with the legend "God Bless Our Home," and a work of the Impressionist School, " Love Among the Roses." Fortunately, the artist was able to show that nil Wμ Wright, and that Art, in this instance, like Wisdom, was "justified of her children," for in the days to come, some of theso art studies will no doubt adorn the walls of the Choral Hall at our Society of Arts Exhibition. The Customs men " meant well but thoy didn't know."

A friend of mine who has had his own experiences of " the economic independence of woman" in the wife dividing the house with him—sho taking the inside and he tho outside, gives me a fresh illustration of what may happen in this year of Grace 1897, when the New Woman arises in her might, He states that a friend of his in the suburbs who settled all his property on his wife, has boon fired our, of his " home," and from his virtuous couch. At this present time of writing he is vegetating in a hen-roost at the rear of his lormer dwelling, while his too lawful spouse is monarch of all sho surveys. It " makes you careful doesn't it?" especially in settling property on the wile of your bo<om.

A rumour having been bruited abroad that " the only staff officer" was going Homo with the colonial contingent, a pawky Scot, who affects the kilts, waited upon Smith and Caughoy and offered to fill the vacant gap in thoir war establishment. He was willing to wear Iho kilts daily, and throw in "a blaw o'tho pipes" on Saturday evening in consideration of being pensionod for life. The firm has the offor under consideration, but tho respected head of it—"The Peoples William"—prefers, if ho has a choice, to have tho " chanter "—at the Central Mission.

Among those going home is Donald Diunie, but not in the Contingent. We all know he could put the Britishers through in athletics, buc he is, I learn, simply going homo to fulfil a professional engagement. Mr. F. E. ltaume, solicitor, i* also going, having several contingent objects in view, all lawful unci some meritorious. The gargeoasneas of the Reconl R'jign colobrationß is not likely (o disturb his mental balance, as he U Baume(y) to commence with. A highly esteemed and respected fel-low-citizen (wild horses will not draw his name from me), ordered a pair of Jubilee pants the other (fay, t.ho waistband only measuring five feat—CO inches—in girth, Well, he ought to go with the Contingent, but "businoss engagements prevent." Shnkcspere is unquotable in his presence, Ha I cannot say of his " trows," "a world too wido for his shrunk shanks." The members of the Contingent are anxiously inquiring whether, in their varied duties at Home they will be expected to act as King Richard's retinue and bodyguard, and mount guard at tho entrance to Csesav's tent. Well, all I can say is, what the Dickens does it matter? They can't go wrong in " rendering untn Caesar tho things thai are Csaar's," and unto Richard tho things that are Richard's. Mkhcutio.