WHAT WILL MRS. GRUNDYSAY?

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIV, Issue 10413, 10 April 1897, Page 1 (Supplement)

WHAT WILL MRS. GRUNDYSAY?

[BY COLONUS.] "Be quiet woolye? Always ding dinging Dame Grundy into ray ears. What will Mrs. Grnndy say ? What will Mrs. Grnndy think?" When farmer Aehfield in "Speed the Plough" rebuked his spouse for her fear of the opinions of neighbour Grundy's wife, he was .only giving voice to the anguished cry for liberty, that has tremblod on thousands of lips since time began at the gates o! E len, and of protest against a power that will probably endure till time shall be no more. Kiugdoms and empires have risen and fallen, thrones have been shaken 1 and dynasties have crumbled into dust, bub the throne of Mrs. Grundy is fixed r -nnd her kingdom endureth forever. She may not be loved, she may not sometimes be even reverenced, but ehe is feared and obeyed, and from tho highest to the lowest, men and women bow to the sway of Mrs. Grundy. Even in this nineteenth century in which the world has advanced in liberty as is never did before, so far from that advance having sapped tho power of Mrs. Grundy, every expansion of human freedom seems to have but oxpanded and confirmed her mana, and Mrs. Grundy is the Great Goddess of the/n dtskde. There is it flippant way of speaking of Mrs. Grundy, as if she were a being to be aueored at or despised, bnt this is only the conduct of a superficial mind, for Mrs. Grundy is really God's vicegerent on earth, His mightest archangel in carrying out His moral government of mankind. He has given His commands for the conduct of humanity, Hβ has even written them on tho hearts and consciences of His creatures, but neither the threatenings of the law nor the voice of conscience have such a potency as the voice of Mrs. Grundy in enforcing the moral order of social life. Indeed, tliere is not any good cau*e that has ever eomo to anything but has lamely owed its success to Mrs. Grundy, and the demise of her crown, if by any means that catastrophe could occur, would be the introduction of a reign of chaos that would bring misery and ruin to all mankind, Bub lot us descend to particulars, that we may soo how largely we are indebted to this beneficent Goddess for all the good things we onjoy. Lot us begin, if you will, with religion, to which Air?. Grundy has been the noblest benefactress.

Let it not be supposed that in this any aspersion is intended or cast on the sincerity of religion. There are thousands of men and women who are actuated by the purest and sheerest of religious motives, and who perform their religious duties with a single eye to the good that is in (hem. Id is not with these that Mrs. Grundy has to do. Although, no doubt, oven these are sometimes blessed by her influences and curbed in a tendency to wander from the right paths. But the others. Religion itself declares that they are but the few that) aro saved, but without the aid of the others, it is probable there would be but few churches built, and for these we are indebted to Mrs. Grundy. When the church bells ring on Sunday morning they sound a holy and a wolcome invitation to many, who come with sincere devotion in (heir hearts to worship God; bub hu.v many a. thousand aro there to whom these hallowed chimes aro just the voice of Mrs. Grundy ; and they don their coats and bonnets and put the three-penny pieces in their pockets, and it is all bocause of Mrs. (jrundy, for if the pew was empty, what would Mrs. Grundy say ? Ami then the church officers, wise as serpents though harmless as doves, recognise tho value of the services of this handmaid of roligion : for they had found that) the collection taken privately at the door in covered boxes brought but a meagro return of voluntary gifts, whereas the open plato circulating round the pows, and emptying tlie-recoipts at every pow door, had a stimulating effect on the benevolent and Christian liberality of every giver. And wherefore? They know full well tliab Mrs. (Jrundy is within that sacred edifice, thab her eagle eye is on every giver, and that if anyone is disposed to pass the plate or give a copper when he should give silver, he says within himself, bub what will Mrs. Grundy say? And thus ifc is thab of every five bricks in the church wall, four have been placed by Mrs. Grundy, and through her beneficent services the world is brought to contribute liberally of its wealth to the noblesb and the best of objects. And as for those whom her voice has summoned to tho House of God, they are brought ab least within the sphere of sacred influences, which, even when they do nob convert the soul, are bound to have a restraining influence on their lives. And who can tell the salutary force which Mrs. Grundy exercises on the life and. character of society. She is sometimes blamed because she does not carry her rule into the inner life and punish a man for whab he is Instead of what ho appears to be. Bub that is nob the province thab has been assigned to her in the economy of God's moral government. A man may be the greatest reprobate living, and yet uniformly preserve an outward aspect of decorum in obedience to the demands of Mrs. Grundy. Now, is it nob better so than thab he should be permitted to parade his vileness in the sight of all. In such a case he would be a moral pestilence, and his open Haunting of depravity would have a most deleterious effect on the general welfare of tho community. \ Instead of this he keeps his wickedness under outward restraint, and in the compulsory effort to look good, there is a ten-; dency to his being made less wicked, and for this ho is indebted to Mrs. Grundy. For as a matter of experience the redox of our outward actions is nearly always felt on our minds, and if a man is kepb continually doing good he is insensibly brought more or less intn sympathy with good. Moro than all tho policemen and all the magistrates in the country, Mrs. Grundy is the great deterrent of evil-doing in the community, and the mainCainer of the order and good government of society. Indeed, without her, their penalties for the most part would be as idle as the wind. For whab is the punishment of being sent to gaol f a little enforced idleness, a pause in the hurly-burly of life, which in other circumstances men generally long for; shelter, warmth, enough ofekilly and bread and water, what more does man wanb for a picnic ? But ib is because the awful frown of Mrs. Grundy accompanies the penalty of being senb to gaol that hearts are broken, hopes are shattered, and the aroma of the prison-house clings to a man and his family as long as they live. Indeed, the terrible power of Mrs. Grundy to awe the offender may be seen in incidents that we read of every day. A man can go on deliberately robbing his clients from year to year. Ho does so in defiance of coiwcionce, and in defiance of God, whom, if he believes in a God ab all, he must know to be looking ab htm. Yet all the time he puts on an air of sanctity and decorum in deference to Mrs. Grundy. Then let the hoar of exposure approach, leb incidents be unravelling themselves, that will expose him to her awfuf frown; he clutches the dagger, he raises the poison cup, or he puts the revolver to his head, he can confront) an angry God, he can brave death, but he cannob look on the face of Mrs, Grundy: and in the moral govemmenb of society the fear of Mrs. Grandy is more potent than tho fear of God.

To speak flippantly of such a power as this is arrant folly; from (he cradle to the grave she rules our destiny, and there is nob a monarch on earth that exercises such a sway. Indeed, in our fallen state she seems to be an indispensable necessity in the regulation of individual and facial life, and though no doubt the Creator ultimately will call men to account for deeds done in the flesh, Hβ seems to have delegated in the meantime to a , very large extent) the reins of His moral government! in time to the hands of Mrs. Orundy. Iα fact), it) wu from the very .first moment of Man's f*Uea iHtfl that the rase was

placed under lier control, and Adam and Eve had only just eaten the apple when they became conscious of the awful presence of Mrs, Grundy. Thero wa? not another human being alive but thomselves; nothing but the wild beasts roaming about, so that they might nob have minded; bat the Bible tells us tlfat " tlioy knew they were naked," and though thoy had plenty of other things that one raigh , ; have supposed they should have thought more seriously about in their lost and forlorn estate, the very first tiling they did was to sit down and make their little wardrobe of fig leaves. And ever einco that early period in tho world's history, Mrs. Grundy has been equally particular about clothes, and it is in recognition of this particular penchant for clothes on the part of Jjrs. Grundy, and as a testimony to her value as the handmaid of religion that the missionaries get out little breeches and pinafores for the little converts in the New Hebrides and other tropical islands. Those people would be infinitely more comfortable without the knickerbockers, which only harbour insects and make the noor creatnres fee! hot and sticky. But Mrs, Grundy says they must have clothe?, i and pinafores are means of fcrace and essential to the little niggers' everlasting salvation. Indeed, the fear of Mrs. Gruady seems instinctive in the race, and even tho aboriginal, when his eyes are opened, instantly beholds the form of Mrs. i;vundy as Adam did, and worships her in his own simple way nt any sacrifice There was that caso of a station in Queensland, where the aboriginals had been comine and going in a state of nature, until the marriftjju of one of the proprietors brought a white lady on the scene. Then it was that*the instinct which first awoke in Adam and Eve at tho fall reasserted itself, and there was a mattering of gunny bags and other simple and inornate articles of attire, till one poor blackfellow wno had nob got a gunny bag, showed the resourcefulness of our first parent", and with all solemnity made his bow to Mrs. Grundy with a girdle of shingles about his loins. It was in tho matter of clothing that Mrs. Grundy first put herself in evidence when our poor first parents made their little aprons from the fig leaves, and ever since that time she has been great on clothes. What we should do if it were noo for her, nobody knows; perhaps we should follow the lead of that apostle of sans culottes, now on his way to these lands, who is to appear in our streets a preacher of simplicity " tnit nodings on." Rut from our clothing to our habits from our religion to our public life, in our conversations, and in our actions, and in the whole tenor of our existence, we are restrained and guided by Mrs. Grundy, the most inexorable tyrant, but withal one of the most beneficent forces among all the agencies appointed by God in the maintenance of his order and moral government on earth. Vive la Grundy !