ODDS AND ENDS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIV, Issue 10413, 10 April 1897, Page 4 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS.

The man who has all he wants has also I very poor memory. , ! The man at the bottom of the ladder cam not fall and hurt himself. Some men's probity aeeras to be all right until you begin to probe. If you don't know when you are well Oβ you are pretty sure to find out afterward. Tramp (at dentist's door) : " I'd like aj teeth filled." Dentist: "Gold or eitverf Tramp (eagerly): "Ob! just plain bread will do !" "After all, politeness is the cheapeab thing in the world." " Yes, that's what ails it; if it had some stylo about it more people would use it." Praxiteles: "You perhap3 wouldn't think it, but De Pounder, the musician over there, plays entirely by ear." Fiacre: "I> ib possible. la that what makes 'em so large ?' Teacher: " What is the anatomical name for finger!" Johnny (raising his hand): " I know. It's Jerusalem. I've heard nj papa say it when he hit his finger with the hammer." Young Husband: " Have you discharged the cook yet ?" Young Wife : " No, dear; wait until she's finished her dinner. People are always more willing to grant favour* after a good meal." • She: " 'Tis true that) I have broken Oβ the engagement) and that I still have your ring, but do you know why I retain that ring ?" He (ruefully): "On the theory, I suppose, that to the victor belong the ( spoils." " My girfe," said a father proudly after he bad fallen against the coalbox in the hall and retrieved the fireirona from the toolhouse—" Jly girls have a wonderful sense of order. They have a place for everything, bub ib is a fresh place ever? time." "Have you got all you want for thi cycling excursion?" asked his wife. " I think ao—the lamp, the wrench, the oil— yes." "I knew you'd forgot it," she remarked—" the most necessary thing for the trip. Here." And she handed him tnt court-plaister. "I want a pound of butter," said MrSpudds to the grocer. "Yes, eir; the . real or the imitation?" "Whab kind wag ib you gave me the day before yesterday • "That was the genuine." "Then It take the imitation this time." __