ODDS AND ENDS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIII, Issue 10127, 9 May 1896, Page 4 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS.

A woman may be quite given to wringing her hands, and yt j nob be very much of a belle. She : " Does my new dress give me a good fit ?" He: " 1 think ib will when you see it in the glass." The man who was arrested for stealing a mirror reluctantly admitted that he had a glass too much. An exchange asksj "Why do most authors wear their hair long J" " Becauea barbers cub for cash." Papa (on the top of the stairs): "Is that young man gone, Maraie I" Mamie: " Yes, papa, awfully." He: " How well Miss Elderberry carries her age." She: " But th' a she has become so accustomed to ib you know." One of the ironies of life is the fact thai the man who has money enough to pay as he goes can geb all the credit he wants. Mr. Scrap: "I had an awful dream las night. I thought I was dead." Mrs. S—: "The room was very warm, wasn't it?" " Henpeck has bought his wife a bicycle, i Shrewd fellow that Henpeck." " Shrewd f "Yes, he gets a rest now. She blows up her tire."

The Wife: " How did you coma to propose to me, John ?" The Husband : M I wanted bo be different) from other teen, I suppose." " Well, how is the cycling craze in this part of the country ?" " Falling off," said the pretty cyclist., as she took a header over the handle-bar. "Take away women," shouted th« orator, "and what would follow?" "We would," said a man at the back of the

audience promptly. She : " Why, Charles, how can you call Mies James plain? I wish I was only hclf as good-looking." He} "You are, Hatty, and you, know it.'' Maude: '" Hate you decided how you are going to vote?" Miss Quiver: "Oh,yes, I'm going bo vote in ray new black cloth gown with psarl buttons." Father: "Why did you permit young Mashman to kiss you in the parlour lasb night." Daughter: " Because I was afraid he'd catch cold in the hall."