WOMEN AS WOOERS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIII, Issue 10127, 9 May 1896, Page 2 (Supplement)

WOMEN AS WOOERS.

The popular notion, that it is & woman's duty to sit still with folded hands, hoping that the man of bar heart will sooner or later be inspired to confess his love for her, is not a wise one, She is supposed to have no free hand in the matter. Convention's cold voice is supposed to bell her that there is no other course open to her except this. She must, says that ugly bogey, just sit still and take her chance.'

Hard linos indeed if it were 60. Undoubtedly thero are many women who think it :1 sin against modesty to unbare their hearts' longings even to a single person other than themselves. They may, as in the poets, confide in the moon ; that, however, is as far as decorum allows them to go. But in sober moments of reflection they are compelled to admit that the odds are terribly against their achievement of just the happiness they desire. An acquaintance of ours did well to flout convention once upon a time. She was rich and young and warm-natural, and confessed to herself that she loved a certain man. He, on his part, however, knew nothing of her seoinod, indeed, to be ignorant that ho could excito affection in others. The girl did not mince matters. She called on a worthy neighbour and opened her soul.

"Do you think," she a«ked, " Mr. U. would be likely to lore mo ?" " My dear," was the reply, " it would be odd if ho didn't, once ho came to know you as I do!"

It was so very easily arranged. They were introduced; met several times' the worthy neighbour dropped hints into the young man's heart ; the hints bore fruit ; ho grew bold; in timo asked of this good mediator the same quostion she had heard before: "Do you think, Mrs. B», thai Miss 1). would really consent to be my wife ?" and so all ended well.

" Who'll be my beau f" we once heard a merry-faced damsel inquire at a dance on a green lawn on a Bank Holiday. She asked the question with laughing lips, but her eyes were on the man, who promptly responded that he would bo her beau. For our part, we haven't a doubt they also eventually married and lived happily ever afterwards.

The old order of things changes. Women's minds have enlarged greatly of late years. So, too, have mens. To women the established rules of conduct in courtship seem, in many instances, out of date, barbaric, brutal, And men are not slow to agree that there is something in the notion.

As things are the majority of men who marry have to take their wives' affection, to some extent, for granted. They have initiated the wooing, It is presumed they have been accepted— least in part— for their ability to furnish a home, to raise a single woman's mind, impelling her to say "Yes" to a wooer, even though sho does not love him as fully as her heart would like.

_ The result is speculative ; how speculative we see every autumn by the newspaper correspondence on the subjects more or less connected' with matrimony. Both men and women suffer, and in only too many instances do not grow strong under their crosses,

In the contrary case there would, at any rate, be the assurance of the woman's love. This is nearly always far firmer than a man's, and much more subtle. A woman in love can and will do so much more to win and keep a husband's affection than can or will the wife who whispers to herself after marriage that perhaps she has made a mistake in saying " Yes" where her heart bade her say nothing. Indirectly, of course, women do propose, even now. Tho tell-tale blush and the soft light in her eyes are sufficient evidences for the ordinary man that the girl he has been paying attention to is fond of him. As to women themselves, they are never—or very rarely—in doubt as to whether men love them or nob ; so that if thoy should take to proposing they would not be liable to make humiliating mistakes.