JUST A GIRL.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIII, Issue 10037, 25 January 1896, Page 3 (Supplement)

JUST A GIRL.

BY CIIAULISS GAUVICK, Author of "The Outcast of tliu Family," " Queen Kate," " In Cuplil'i Oh tins," " Better Than life," " On Love's Altar ; or, A Fatal Fancy," "She Trusted Him."'

CHAPTER (Continued.) Trafford did nob start, but a hand seoinod to grip his hoart. Ib was so true—and truth is often so ghastly, so all-powerful and insurmountable. " How—who—"

" Ah, you admit it," she said, sadly, as if she had hoped, even against hope, that he would deny ib, oven in the face of the truth. "I will not tell you how I learned it. But it is the truth you cannot deny it I",

She put hor hand to her lips for a moment, as if bo steady them, for they were quivering. "It was not me, but—but the money you wanted," the went on. " All tho time you have—perhaps, hated me; - have beon laughing at mo even while you—you have beon saying—saying-" Her voice broke. She remembered—it flashed upon hor at that instant—how few loving, really loving, speeches he had made to her.

" I ought to have known," sho fnltored. " Bub I did not. How should I ? Brought up in a diggers' camp j and there was no one like you at Three Star, no one who thought of such things., I whs just ignorant, and—and believed you. "My God!" he murmured, under his breath, He understood all eho was feeling,

¥ld he shared her qjjpny of iyidhumiliation. Another man might have turned to her and lied : to her, fluently declaring that he hail loved her from tho first; but Trafford oould not do that, It ,Would have seemed to him ap if ho were insulting hor and mooting her misery, '! I believed yoi|," she went on, almost as if she were speaking to herself. '' I thought ypu-r-yQu oared for ine-r-?" " Esmeralda I" broke from biffl i then us he.met her sorrowful gaze, he stopped and turned his head away, " When ypu took me down to fJalfayre, and they were all sq good to me, I didn't understand, I didn't guess the truth, And the duke talked an if lie wero rich, as if moimyr-raoney was not even thought of, And yqi}— seemed"—her vojoe broke— " as if you could pot dp or think anything meaq and-? It is just that; I didn't understand."

Hor bosom heaved, and her eyes, dry Wd burping, gnzed vacantly at the sky, now reddening with the setting sun, "But I know all now. Ever since I found out the truth I have been thinking— ing until I thought I should go mad I All the way here, while you thought I was asleep, I was going over it all, and my eyes were opened, and l—l understood 1 It was the money you wanted, and not only you, but the duke, and Lord Selvaiqe, and Lilias-?" Her voice grew thick. " No—pq I" he explained hoarsely. "Nob Lilias I"

"Yes," she said, sadly; "I blame her nioi'e than tho rest, for she is a girl, a woman, and understood. She knew I was ignorant and didn't know the ways of the world 5 bub she is a great lady, and she ought to have been above—above sacrificing me!" The word stung him liko the cut of a whip. His lips set tightly; but lie said nothing. What pould he say ? " You all thought of yourselves and your family pride, and—nothing of me!" she went on, after a pause. "I was only a nobody, something little more than the who work in the fields; why, I am little better I"

He spoke at last. Esmeralda—be just} I—no one of up but respected, admired—" " I know," she said, with a deep sigh. "My money made you forget what I was. Lady Wyncjover used to say that it was no matter what I did, I didn't understand that, amongst other things, but I do now. And I do not blame her for the part she has played." She spoke with a kind of calm, pitying contempt. " She could not help doing what she did, boing whatshe is. Sho thought that nothing mattered so that I was a marchioness, and would bp a duchess some day. I do not blame her, though—though she has been as cruel as the rest of you 1"

Sho was growing weary under the strain, and she loaned against the window, and for a moment let her lioad rest against it, but for a momont only.

" I suppose most girls would not mind. Bub I expeob I'm different, having been brought up differently, and—and I oannot bear it."

The words had a ring of anguish in them that found an echo in his heart and made him half turn to her. Bub her face, the look in hor eyes, kept him back.

"I am married now, and—and It is too late ; you can have the money—"

" My God ! have some mercy, child !" broke from him, the sweat standing on his whito brow.

" What mercy have you had on me?" she asked in a low voice. "Ah ! why did you do it! Why did you not come to me and tell me what it was you wanted? You might have had the money—every penny of it!"

He wiped his face but said nothing. "I would have given it to you gladly, gladly. For I—l—l cared for you." Ho turned to her with outstretched hand, but she did not move, nor did the steady regard of hor sorrow-stricken eyes flinch or yield. "It was no good to mo. It has never been any good. All tho things I have bought with it I never cared for. I hate it —Ihatoitnowl It is the cause of all—of all my misery. I was happy at Three Star." Then the longing of her heart broko from hor in a despairing cry. " Oh, my God ! why did I over leave it?" Sho sunk into a chair and covered her eyes with her hand. He stood for a moment motionless, then he went to her side, and looking down at her with pallid face, said, hoarsely and slowly, as if he were weighing every word: " Esmeralda, listen to me ; I understand now; 1 know all you feel. I will not ask you who told you-how you discovered tho truth. It is tho truth—partly. Esmeralda, it was tho desire of the money—and I curse it now as you do—that led mo to yield." " I know it," she whispered, brokenly. "Yes, there shall bo no concealment, no evasion. It was the money. You say you cannot understand how I could have boon so —mean, so bad. You cannot. You do nor know the need that urged me on, the devil of family pride that thrust me forward. See, I speak to you now as to a woman— you cannot call yourself ignorant any longer. I will speak— ye.<, as man to man—the truth and the whole truth. Esmeralda, we were nearly ruined ; we stood on the brink of utter destruction; in a few mouths Belfayro would have been sold over our heads. There was only one person who could savo it, only one way of saving it. It is a way that is common, all too common. Mon—women—of tho world think nothing of it; no one shrinks from it. I could save my people, the house, by marrying money, and "

" You decoived, sacrificed me," she said, slowly. Ho made a gesture with his hand. " I will dony nothing that is true," ho said. "1 asked you to bo my wifo because you wero rioh—yes." She roso, hor eyes fixed upon him, her breath coming fust, and he met her gaze steadily, almost oalinly. " At that time I did not lovo you."' She pub up her hand as if to still tho heaving of her bosom. "It is to be tho truth between us," he said. "I did not lovo you. 1 admired you; who could do less ? I knew that you were good and sweet and pure; but"—his voice rang low—" but though I did nob lovo you then, I lovo you now. Wait! Listen to me!"

Ho stood erect, his oyes flashing, his heart boating fast. "If I ever doubted myself, I doubt no longer. I know, now that I am in danger of losing you, that I love you 1" Her eyes sought his; she seemed to be drawn toward him; she was yielding undor the spell of his voice, his eyes, the magnetic power of his love. Then she oaded all her spirit to her aid, and hor prido, and faced him.

"It is nob true,"she said—"it is nob true!"

His hand fell upon the back of tl|o chair beside him and gripped it, and his face went white again. "Esmeralda," he said, hoarsely, "you must believe me 1 I love you, dearest 1 For God's sake, believe mo 1 Do as you will by me ; I yiold myself, ray future, to you. It is only right; but—but bolieve mo —I lovo you 1" "It is falso, false 1" she said, almost inaudibly ; for Lady Ada's voice was ringing in her ears and drowning hor own. " I do not believo you ! I know that you do not lovo me ! Nothing you could say could convince me—nothing, nothing 1" Ho stood for a moment or two with bowed head, his breath labouring, his face dark. "Thore is no more to be said," he said, at last, and his voice sounded harsh and strained. "I cannot mako you believe mo if you will not. You must continue to think me a liar and scoundrel. Some day you will know that I am spoaking truly. God grant it I" " Novor 1" she breathed, Ada's voioe still in her oars.

Ho looked at her—a long, yearning, despairing look—then he turned his eyes away, as one turns away from a treasure that has slipped from one's hand for over. "I have been guilty, I have pleaded guilty to your accusations, Esmeralda," he said, at last. "What do you wish me to do—to have done? I will do anything; I owe it to you." She tried to think. "If I could only gob away-back to Three Star 1" she said, rather to herself .than to him. 1 He winced, ' 11 1 do nob think you could do fchafc, he said, hoarsely. She drew a. long sigh. "No, I know. I am not so ignorant as you think me. "I have learned a great deal since the night you came up to me at Lady Blankyre's." " For God's sake, spare me!" lie pleaded.

"I know that- I, am ■ ypur wife, the Marchioness of Trafford, 0110 of your family, and that I must think of you and them. I can't go away,' 1 She romembered the lake at Belfayre and the duke's words. "The wife Of the M&rquis of Belfayro can't do th«t. It would he (letter f PF mto kill myself." He uttered not a word. "Bub do. not be afraid. That would bring scandal, would' it not? and I will not do that. It— qare for them— duke and Lilias—top much, and I Will think of them, thong}) they did UQb think of me." He put out his hand imploringly, then Jet it fall to his pjde. " I will go," lie pa|d, jn a whisper. Her head drooped. ■' Yes; thank you." The simple words tortured him tnoro keenly than anything she had as yet said. "Twill go presently—in a day or two," lie eaid. "I would go at once—for that is what yqu tpost ardently desire—but scandal— You have spoken of it, not I," "Yes," she assented,dully. "I am to blame for being so ignorant—more than all the rest—and Ido not want to make everybody unhappy and bring disgrace on—on the duke will Lillys," He bit his lip, She did not think of him; it was " the duke and Lilias." " I understand,"he said, in as dull and dead a voice as her own. "You—you do not wish anyone—the servants, the family —anyone to know of this—this division between us?''

"No," she said. "No one need discover it," he said, "We will remain here for a time—a few days— long as you like— I can go away. I can even stay, if you wish it; everything shall bo arranged as you wish. We can bo friends— outward seeming, at any rate." " Yes," she assented, mechanically. She was weary to the point of exhaustion. If he had gone up to her and taken her in his arms, and held her against his heart in spite of herself, herheart would have yielded, and all would have been well,

But he did pot do so. He thought that love was slain in her heart, and that to tquch her—to utter a word of lovo— but insult her and harden her. Men are always fqols where the women they love are concerned.

"The money"— moistened his lips " the money shall be made over to you again." She rose and shook her head.

" No," she said, in a low and firm voice; "I will not have it. The—tho bargain is made, and I will stand by it." "I cannot consent to that," he said, grimly. " Yon must," she said, simply. "If you were to do it—give it back to me—l should refuse it, tho whole truth would come out, and I should go back to Three Star," He breathed hard. " Yon have no mercy," he said, brokenly. " You exact your revenge and force me into the very dust." "I don't mean to do that," she said, in a low voice ; " but tho money must stop where it is."

"For the present," he said. "If you know me, you would realise how bitterly you make me suffer." "1, too, suffer," she said, turning away her head. " Only hide tho truth, and let people think there is no trouble.'' "I will try to do so," ho said. "You may trust to me, Never, by word or look, will I romind you that we are husband and wife. That I can promise you." Her lips movod—they were very white at his momentbut all he could hear was :

" Thank you. I—l trust you." " You may do so," he said, as simply as she had spokenThere was silence. The night had fallen suddenly, unnoticed by them. They stood motionless, as if a chasm had suddenly opened and gaped between them. Then he soemod to awaken from a spell. " I—l will go out," he said, " Will you have tho lights?" The commonplace question struck hideously. She shook her head. He walked to tho door, then paused and looked back at her. She stood quito motionless, gazing vacantly into the night. He sighed— was very nearly a groan— then, like an idiot, went out and left her. {To be continued 011 Wednesday next.)