LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXII, Issue 9752, 23 February 1895, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

"let me haTeaudience for a word or two." — Shakespere. Some days ago the Premier, referring to the clamour which had arisen because the Colonial Treasurer had determined to pay a visit to England, said, in a confident tone, as if it were a mere truism, "New Zealand is a free country." I don't think that even in a free country a Colonial Treasurer is entitled to go away on his own business. But that is nob the point. Most of us, on reading this jaunty expression, would ab once exclaim, " It once was, but, alas, is so no more." How can we say it is a free country, where inspectors can go about telling people they must close their doors— where the executive can prevent an appeal to the ordinary Courts of law—where a perfect spy system is being organised—where any man's freehold may be seized by the Government, to be handed over to their political associates ? New Zealand has still some consolations, bub it is nob a free country.

The Minister for Labour can also indulge in a little bit of jocularity. Addressing a meeting at Ghristchurch he commenced by deploring that so many of his audience were out of work, and really in a condition of distress, and then lie went on to tell them what benefits ho had in store for them in the Labour Bills ho had still in his pocket, and which he would get passed next session—how he would compel the masters to give them shorter hours, more holidays, and higher pay, how he would by statute enact a fair wage, which no master could evade. His auditors cave him a vote of thanks and confidence, but they must have reflected that it would be more to the purpose if Mr. Reeves could get them employment at all, even if they had to accept what would once have been thought a small wage ; that it might be good fun for Mr. Reeves, as a Socialist, to persecute employers out of existence altogether, but it was death to them. They might have reflected, and they probably did, that it was all very well for Mr. Reeves to preach Socialism at a salary of £800 a year, with £200 for house allowance and ample travelling expenses, but that it was hard lines for them to be deprived of all chance of work by his experiments. However, this is the plight that wo are in, and we will never get out of ib till the workingman determines that we shall, and then the thing will be done at once.

It was most magnanimous for the manager of the Union Bank to call Dr. Campbell's attention to the fact that £50') had been lying to his credit for 35 years, when it was obvious that the whole thing had been clean forgotten by everybody concerned. How many thousand pounds the bank has made of the sum by interest and compound interest I do not know, but there are a number of facts as to which one would like his curiosity satisfied. We have had a long succession of managers of the Union Bank since 1860, and how was it that none of them considered that it was his duty to make the fact public that this nice little sum was in existence. Then again, I would like to know if there are any more sums of £500 at the credit of the citizens of Auckland? 1 have subscribed to a number of causes, and perhaps I might find that I was entitled to reclaim some money. It would come in handy in these times. The report of the meeting stated that besides those named, a number of old identities attended, but departed sadly on finding that their names were not amongst the published list of subscribers. lam sorry for them.

But a number of questions arise, and have to be settled. For instance, some of those present were members of firms with three partners. Suppose a firm with three partners ■ gave £20, and only one of the partners is now alive, and the firm has been dissolved long ago, what share would he be entitled to recover? If half the subscriptions have to be repaid would he take half of the whole subscription, or one-half of one-third? Or again, pub it merely as a supposition that any of the subscribers had,, since the busy days of 1860, had to seek the protection which the commercial laws of the colony afford, could he conscientiously take any money ?

One of our numerous women's leagues bad a meeting the other day, and of course had a mission in endeavouring to "get even" with the "tyrant man." who has 80 long been oppressing them. They passed a resolution thus : —" That the present marriage laws operate unjustly towards women, and ought to be re-adjusted on the principle of equality and economic independence of men and women." Most husbands would be delighted if their wives were in a position of " economic independence," and would provide for all their wants in the' way of dresses and gloves.

I have said some hard tilings, "more in sorrow than in anger," about the " New Woman," so on the good and wholesome rule, Audi alteram partem, I give the following concerning thatinteresth.g personage:— She does not "languish in her lower," Or squander all the golden uVy In fashioning a sandy flower Upon a worsted spray ; Nor is she quite content to wait Behind her " rose-wreathed lattice pane, Until beside her father's gate The gallam prince draws rein." The brave " New Woman" scorns to sigh And count it "such a grievous thing" That year on year should hurry by j And no gay suitor bring. In labour ranks she takes her place, With skilful hands and cultured mind Not always foremo.-t in the rice. But never far behind. Anil not less lightly fall her feet. Because they tread the busy ways, She is no whit less fair and sweet, Than maids of olden days ; Who, gowned in samite or brocade, Looked charming in their dainty guise, But dwelt like violets in the shade, With shy, half-opened eyes. Of life she takes a clearer view, And through the press serenely rr.ovos, Unfettered, free, with judgment true, Avoiding narrow groove-. She reasons, and she understands, And sometimes 'lis her joy and crown, To lift with strong yet tender hands, The burdens men lay down. Rob a bad story reaches me from Southlaud, as under :—A young neophyte from London was sent by wealthy parents to look out for a good sheep station in New Zealand. He had a most poverty-stricken idea of "country," but he had what all stock and station agents regard as the indispensible, viz., plenty of cash. After being properly . "fixed" in regard to country he had to buy stock, and asked the price of sheep. The stock agents told him two-tooth ewes and wethers, mixed, were worth 4s 9d, fair condition, and four-tooth 7s. The neophyte, to air his knowledge of sheep farming, said, "Well, what's the price of three-tooth ?" Only those who have sheep knowledge can see the joke in this. A controversy in the colonies has been going on in some of the Southern papers over tho use of the word "Dissenting," as applied to the churches that are not episcopally governed. One clergyman, the Rev. W. H. Ash, points out. that as there is no State religion, consequently there is no such thing as "assenting" or "dissenting." No single church is either higher or lower than its sister churches, and any pretensions of superiority on the part of any one church are simply ridiculous and misleading, and historically inaccurate. A prominent member of the Dunedin Burns Club lately launched forth upon the Sack of variety of expression in English compared with Doric. " Why," said he, "ye say in English ' A large dog,' and ' A small dog,' and then ye're done—ye can go no further ; but in the grand Scotch tongue ye can gay : A doag (or dug). A wee doag. A wee bit doag. ' A wee bit bitty doag. A wee bit doagity doag. Asma'do:ig. •,, Amuckle doag. 1 : Talk o' English, after that J"

Among the many absurdities of the Shop Hours Act, the following is worth mentioning : —There is an undertaker in Wellosleystreeb, who had the supreme audacity to have the front door of his shop open after one p.m. last Saturday. The satellite of Undesirable Bill Reeves pounced upon the unfortunate undertaker, stating that .as he did not live on The premises, he was nob under the exemption clauses. The inspector was wrong in this, as he knows by this time. The undertaker replied that he only kept coffins, and as there was a good deal of typhoid about he had to be present to take telephone orders, because people died at all sorts of boars, and would nob close their Uvea even to oblige the Government before one p.m. on Saturday. Besides, for sanitary reasons, it was not desirable in this hot weather to keep the bodies from Saturday to Monday. His was nob a shop in the ordinary sense of the term, and if he were to refuse to receive orders on Saturday afternoon, then the Government should issue an Order-in-Council arresting post mortem symptoms in "cadavers" from Saturday at one p.m. till Monday morning. Mark the sequel, the jaunty Ferguson went away coughing !

Some visitors to LakeTakapuna the other day were very much amused at seeing a French flag fluttering in the breeze over the homely residence of Mr. Harrow, and inquired the cause. It appears that he was so much dissatisfied on one occasion in South Africa at the conduct of some of the English , troops that he renounced the country, and decided to go over to La Bello France. Someone saith that the American flag was to be seen on another portion of his residence, bub in all probability having been told that a large party of German officers were staying at the Lake Hotel, and that France and Germany were now on the most friendly terms, he (as the owner) did not desire to intrude "the Eagle," for fear of disturbing the peaceful surroundings.

At the Congregational Union, the other day, the Rev. W. A. Evans read a report on "Church Roving and Non-attendance," prepared by the Revs. 0. H. Bradbury and A. N. Lindsay. There is a good deal of "Church Roving" in Auckland, and therefore the report, on that account, will be interesting : —

The causes of this roving are hard to define in any deep and satisfactory way. In some cases the roving is a reflection upon the pulpit. People expect to be nourished, but they find themselves where no strong meat is dispensed, nothing bat milkand that skimmed and watered—so they seek better fare. There are some people who will not starve for the sake of denoniiuationalism, and while they would prefer to be fed in their own pastures, they would rather feed elsewhere than die. In other cases, roving is a reflection upon both Churches and people—upon the Churches for resorting to sensationalism, upon the people for yielding to its attraction. Many Churches make frantic efforts to fill their pews. A converted nigger is good. A professional singer touring the colony may be tried. A visitor from the old country is puffed and blazed as the greatest preacher of the age. Then we have flaming posters, striking advertisements, c.itchy topics, sacred solos, and no collection in large type. As we write this report we hear of a smart business man who has got a good wrinkle from a church advertisement for his own booming sale. Roving really springs from the transitional stage through which we are passing. The Church is fast losing the kind of grip it used to have upon the people, and has not yet succeeded in gaining another.

Messrs. Bradbury and Lindsay go on to consider the question why so many remain outside our churches :— The church has not kept itself in touch with the. aims and aspirations of men, and with the intellectual progress of the ace. And now do we know what we have to face? In the Official Handbook for 1893 the population of New Zealand is fixed at 620,000. The entire religious accommodation provided is 280,000. The number attending service is 177,000, from which the odd 27,000 ought to he deducted for generous counting. Not onein four attend divine worship. These figures practically apply everywhere. What are the remedies for this evil? We wish we could tell. We think we know in part. First and foremost there must be what Dr. Fairbairu terms the rediscovery of Christ. _ Secondly, a more fit and adequate training for the Christian ministry. Thirdly, there are the questions of the pew rents, bright services, homely feeling, and hearty welcome to be dealt with.

At the meeting of the Presbyterian General Assembly, on one of the sitting days, the question under consideration was the acceptance of a candidate for ministerial orders and the necessity for a high educational standard in such men. Just then a rooster hopped in at the back door and perched itself upon a chair. Said one wag, "Is this another aspirant for clerical honours?" While a second rather dampened the idea by remarking that " he was too cocky,' and would be apt to overcrow himself." And yet some people will insist that Scotchmen hare no sense of humour !

At the function at the Wanganui Baths this week, I notice that the mayor was called upon, as part of his mayoral duties, to open the ball by taking "a header." Our own Mayor has shown himself so acquiescent and obliging at public functions, that I have no doubt that if the Swimming Association asked him to open the programme at the Swimming Carnival to-day by taking a "header," ho would willingly do it. A word to the wise is sufficient. With the aid of "hollands" the feat is a comparatively easy one ! MERCUTio.