LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXI, Issue 9635, 6 October 1894, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

"Let ir.e have audience for a word or two." — Shakfsptie. The account which J published last week from a local paper of the reception of a party of our legislators who made a trip from Wellington up to the extremity of tho line at Ohingaiti, has obviously attracted some attention. One correspondent writes : — "I cannot conceive that a body of Russian peasantry in the presence of the Czar demeaned themselves more abjectly or addressed him in more fulsome language than did this body of ' cooperative workmen and others' to the tinpot legislators who outraged the wholesome Sunday-respecting feeling which happily prevails in this colony, on the occasion of their vhiib to Three-log wherever that may be. What a precious example these 'supervisors {sic) of the colony' set to the forty children in the matter of honouring the Day of Rest, and what a precious possession Three-log Whare has in a schoolmaster who had no more sense of propriety than to act the conspicuous part he did in the very questionable proceedings. Mr. F. Lawry, I believe, used to be rather an active Sunday-school worker, but he seems to have discarded all that sorb of thing nowadays, and rather to take a delight in dancing on the devil's ground, as good old Dr. Watts hath it. By-the-byo, 'Mercutio' ought to have given the names of the 'supervisors of the colony' present on the occasion."

It is indeed a little sickening that in these day? of equality, of "one-man-one-vote," when striken are of everyday occurrence, and when Ministers think only of legislating for the working class, wo should have working men addressing a few wandering members of the House in the style adopted in the Three-log Whare address. But man is a religious animal, and must have something to worship, and now that rank and learning, and ail the other qualities that used to attract respect are despised, the true successor is the man who can write M.H.R. after his name, and who can vote money for co-operative works. But we must not judge by a single specimen. 'We must hope that the Three-leg Whare address was quite exceptional in the style of wording adopted.

Another correspondent speculates as to the motives of the Hon. Mr. Reeves in putting together and introducing to the House such .iii extraordinary measure as the Undesirable Immigrants Exclusion Bill. His conclusion is, that Mr. Reeves can scarcely realise the full effect of the Bill if made law. He would exclude " idiots,'' and it must be evident to him that with such an Act in force, no other class would come. The only thing left now for Mr. Reeves would be to establish an Immigration Examination Bureau, empowered to examine every person seeking entrance into this sacred land of New Zealand.

The Rev. Mr. Williams has been thundering down upon us all for not coming up to the high moral level of prohibition" But apparently he will have to defend himself and his cloth, if all that is said is true. There has boon a prosecution lately for the sale of a book which was said to be indecent, and although the Resident Magistrate could not see that it was worse than much other literature which is vended without let or hindrance, I can say, from a glance at it, that it is decidedly " naughty" in character. But it was stared in Court that several copies had been sold to clergymen.

The visit of Mrs. Annie Resant to New Zealand at the present time is, as I understand it, mainly a business affair. We all know what manifestations she has given the world of intellectual power, of versatility, of unselfishr.esis, oi moral courage, and so we are all desirous of seeing and hearing one of the most remarkable women of the age—an age in which we have a great number of remarkable women, too many, some people will say. But I hope that the ever practical, not to say prosaic, .Mr. R. S. Srnythe, has stipulated that she shall not attempt any other manifestations than of those merely human qualities mentioned above. These qualities we can all admire, but if I am called on to assist at a Mahatma demonstration, ajid to see letters from spirits in the astral plane dropping through the roof of the Opera House, then there must be two parties and a difference. Many people are not impressed with merely a display of human powers, however grand ; but then, on the other hand, there are many, and 1 am one of them, who, whenever any person professes to be able to do something savouring of superhuman power, more than suspect quackery. It may be rather hard on Mrs. Besant, fresh from India with all its ancient and mysterious cults, to refrain from supplementing her arguments with some display of occultism, buD I suppose that she shall do bo is all strictly nominated in the bond.

Whan a petition is now got up on any political subject it is as a matter of course sent on to the Legislative Council. Nobody thinks it now worth while to address the House of Representatives, unless it is somebody who believes he has a claim against the country, and is of the right colour. Within the last few days, crowds have been signing a petition to the Council asking them to stop the borrowing Bills. Apparently, in the judgment of the citizens of Auckland, the members of the House of Representatives are past praying to, as well as past praying for.

The example of Mr. E. M. Smith and Others of our legislators has stimulated political poets all over the country. I must, however, curtail their aspiration, or very soon this column would fall to the level of Hansard. As a specimen, however, I may give two verses from a communication sent all the way from Westport:— Statesmen and orator:; may try their hand at verse, Then why not I ? Perchance if I He Hem should heat, .Soon in the House I'd have a seat, And then we'd have no end of fights, And woman soon would get her rights. Then rising early, sitting late, WeM legislate for Church and State, And if this poem appear in print, And you would kindly give the hint, I have no doutit at all but yet I shall be made Poet Laureate

A blood-curdling rumour has been in circulation in the Mount Roskill district that a breach of promise case was coming off there, in which the damages were laid at £5000. The press sleuth - hounds ran it down, and to their disgust found it was only a bogus arrangement coming off at a local Mutual Improvement Society ! It is stated that the counsel tor the plaintiff has taken the case up on the Dodaon and Fogg principle, on spec, and the lion's share of the damages which may be a warded by a sympathetic jury. The Law"Society should frown down this libel upon the profession. I understand that the defendant has a set-off to a tidy amount for stickjaw, ice creams, concert and tram tickets, shoe leather in dancing attendance, and loss of political leadership through plaintiff a tittle-tattle about coming events casting their shadows before them. The fair plaintiff asserts that she, through defendant's fickle conduct in trifling with her virgin affections, lost a situation as maid of honour to the Queen of " the Summer Isles of Eden." The respective counsel have had a rehearsal during the week, and have done their best to earn the title of barrister, which term has been defined as "a man who wears a wig, and does his best to defeat justice."

A good story, showing the value of presence of mind under difficulties, was narrated to me the other day. The owner of a neighbouring island, who found his mutten getting small by degrees and beautifully less, in his meanderings over the hills, saw two young men carrying a sheep down to the beach. He made tracks after them, and invited an explanation. " Well, Boss," said the unabashed youths, "we had a dispute as to the age of the sheep, and we are just taking ib down to the beach to examine its mouth, and ascertain its age,

to settle a little bet we had on the matter." The runhoider was so astounded ah their superhuman coolness and fertility of resource, that he felt half inclined to ask them round to the house, at the head station, and "give it a name."

The larrikins had a good innings at a suburban concert this week, and acted after their kind. I was glad to see that one of our most popular and charming vocalists who had tho courtesy to commence a new song, in response to an encore, had the womanly spirit to walk off the stage at the end of the first verse to mark her opinion of the unmannerly cubs who insulted her. There should have been no difficulty at all in securing the " pup," whoso squealings was one of the divertissements to the evening's programme, and giving him the opportunity of " facing the music" at tho Police Court. There is this to be said as a set-off, that Nature had gone half way and made the effort an easy one for the youngster. Still, in all probability, a magistrate like Mr. Northcroft, would have ordered a sound birching for the "pup," and enabled him to repeat his squealings with a few demisemiquavers thrown in, under the vigorous handling of a constable, in the quadrangle of the Highstreet police station. One scarce knows who to pity most, the lads who are growing up to be a scourge to society, or the fathers and mothers who have the misfor- \ tune to be accredited with their parentage. In Auckland we have as yet only got to the j first stage of larrikinism, although the police authorities state that we have already the nuclei of the "pushes," with their organisation, signals, and leaders, which form the Mala Vita Society of a sister colony.

In pleading for the day of rest for the Tramway employees, the Aucklanders should be consistent, and think of the poor Chinese market-garden labourer. A gentleman who takes an interest in the moral and religious welfare of these men, allegos that in some of the market gardens the men get Sunday, but in others they are worked on Sunday forenoon, but get the afternoon. Do our citizens know that some men worked under such a system of yellow slavery are competing successfully against our flesh and blood, and driving them to the wall, because some of our people believe in the Gospel of Despair : "Buy in tho cheapest market and sell in the dearest?" It has been well said, "a man's Christianity is not worth much if his own dog is not the better for it," so the Christianity of the people of Auckland will not be worth much if it does not secure for the Chinese market-garden labourer a whole Sunday. Hitherto the Chinaman's notions of Anglo-Saxon Christianity, from personal observation, have been rather mixed, and the befuddled Chinaman was not so far out in his logic when he made his final appeal to the San Franciscan hoodlum* who were assaulting him, that he had got up to the American plane of higher civilisation, "Me allee same as 'Melican man, —hair cub short, and drunk as Chloe. Hoop-la!" Mercdtio.