ODDS AND ENDS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXI, Issue 9581, 4 August 1894, Page 4 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS.

Now is the time to bujii thermometers— they will soon be going up. Some men who start out to set the world on fire give up at the first thunderclap. " How many foreign languages can your wife speak ?" " Three—French, German, and the one she talks to the baby." Mrs. Tungster (complainingl'y): "Ah, Josiah, it's easy enough to talk." Mr. Tungster: "Just so, my dear; and when I listen to you, I sometimes wish it) wasn't J" Mrs. Bimeson : "To think that I should be the mother of a poet !" Neighbour (soothingly): " Never mind, ma'am ; perhaps he will'recover from it when he gets older Husband: " Didn't I tell you that that was a secret, and that you were not to tell it to anyone!''' Wife:," You told me it was a secret, but you did not say I was not to tell it to anyone." Violet: " I'm going to ; marry a rich man's eldest son, or I won't marry at all." Horrid brother: "Wait- till ye're asked, my dear. In this, as in cookery, Airs. Glasse's golden rule applies—' First catch your heir !'" The course of true love :—"Dear Mr. Jones." "My dear George." "My darling George." "My own darling George." "My darling George." "Dear George." " Dear sir." "Sir." And then she sued him for damages. Aunt Maria: "Why will you allow young Dangler to visit you ? You can get rid of him someway. Your uncle John says you ought to sit upon him." Carrie: " Why, aunt, I hare done that, and he seems more eager to come than ever." ; Miss Blanche Farquhar (to the author, who has praised everybody but her): "And don't you think I'm clever, Mr. Uglo?" The author :"1 think you're pretty." Miss Farquhar : " But don't you think I'm clever in my part J" The author: " And you know it.' Miss Farquhar j "What!—my part The author: "No that you're pretty."