ODDS AND ENDS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXI, Issue 9491, 21 April 1894, Page 4 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS.

A pen may be driven, but a pencil docs better when it is lead. The man who repents on a sick bed from which he recovers generally backslides e i tore he pays his doctor's bill--1 "How do, Hogg?" "My n««M J) ' Bacon,'sir." " Beg pardon bub 1 wit j sure you were Mr. Hogg, the mva. I " So I was ; bub 1 have been cured. 11 How can you be certain that it as late as two o'clock when Barry came J last night ?" May : " Because he stumbL over a chair without swearing out aloui. "So you used to be in business „^} nw self, eh?" asked the business man. does it happen you are looking for emp > ment?" "I guess I wasn't up to busine» ways," answered the applicant. • time I failed I made a failure of it. Mr. Labouchere's recipe for roakii? modern English gentleman runS'MU- " Wash a large, red stockjobber ; brush trim ; baste all over with money ;ar S, in a luxurious West End house, surround with puff paste ; then serve up hot. >■ keep for months." f At an art exhibition" That pic:tur X.'s is a fearful daub, don t you' The gentleman addressed I be, , J , pardon, but lam the artist." " Oh, I fcC ten thousand pardons . The fac oao know anything about art-I just repeat what I hear everyone saying . ( " Madam, I-I must apologise M'" my seven children, (^ d l y , Her0 > you know—and— roor f „ii nlfc how old a trifle for you. And now tell m? ho are the poor little dears? Vj ß, £ id mum ! Well, Bill he s 32, n rv mll[l . . fl married. The over fives d,d |. ™ l mulB! Bill 'n Mary says I m too lazy to h, they're that ungrateful. Thank ye t, mum."