CONUNDRUMS WHOLESALE.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXIX, Issue 9023, 31 October 1892, Page 3

CONUNDRUMS WHOLESALE.

In reply to our advertisement " Kangaroo," who, unless he is uncommonly active, could not keep pace with his own conundrums, sends us the following. He little thinks we have over 2000 already, or he would doubtless have spared us the threat to send along another batch. If our readers want to know who are the punsters, riddle makers, acrostic compilers, and puzzle inventors of I*l ew Zealand, let them offer a prize, as we have done, and if they have the same luck nothing but suicide or the madhouse will save them. Doctors, clergymen, lawyers, officersof the fleet, ladies under and over 17 (or 70 for that matter), children in their teens, and out of them; white, black, bond, and free will all contribute their quota, at least we have contributions from them all; and yet in the majority of cares they ha% missed the cardinal condition of our offer, which was that the Water bury watch should be the theme, and nob a conundrum on a watch, with Waterbury added, bub really unattached ! We have ' had riddles turned out on the co-operative principle, the outcome of evening parties, Bible classes, or other meetings of the sexes. Others have been evolved over the | dinner tables of our hotels, in friendly rivalry amongst the guests. Some are sent in, carefully enveloped in perfumed wrappers, with monogram and nom de plume all au fait. Others are juvenile, badly spelt and penned in honest round hand betweer set pencil lines. A few are illegible as a whole or in part, and harder to "climb" than a monkey's puzzle. Bub none forget to add the address where the Golden Waterbury is to be sent, and by the strangest of coincidences there is no ambiguity or unintelligibility about that part of the epistle. Oh,' no, that is all right. One or two have brought their's round, and after commending their efforts to our kind consideration have suggested an adjournment to Wains, or have "winked the other eye." We remained of course immaculate; the best proof of this being that the prizes have not yet been awarded. Some contributors suggested that " Civis" should be the judge ! Now we should like to know who " Civis" is Are almost certain that he is a contributor, and that this suggestion came from him. Shouldn't wonder. Happy thought; can't trust " Civis." Must get some other humourist, possibly Miss Morrison or H. S. Fish. However, we have digressed,, and now give way to Kangaroo :— 1. Why is the old series Waterbury like a kangaroo —Answer : Because it possesses a tremendous spring. v 2. Why is the sale of the Waterbury Watch like a kangaroo Answer Because it progresses by leaps and bounds. 3. Why are the Waterbury agents like a kangaroo —Answer : Because they never get their tails between their legs. 4. Why is the Waterbury Watch like the sun ? Answer: Because you can depend upon it being up to time. 5. What is the difference between the Waterbury Watch and most of our goldmining companies ? . , , Answer: The one is wound up, started, goes till it runs down, and you have a capital watch; the other is started, you have to watch your capital going tdl it. run down, and then— wound up. You know. - Agent) Waterbury Watch Co. " ' .. I pub the " cons." first), because I reckon that's the place they should occupy in your list of prizes. I reckon, like the baby, they can't be beat. So kindly' send on the " ticker ab your' earliest ' convenience. If these don't, take the .cake (watch, I mean) just say so. ? I have a few more by me, ana can trot them oub to suib ; in fact, I could do 'em by contract. . " Barkis is willin',' so just say the word and oblige , " Kangaroo."