LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXIX, Issue 8812, 27 February 1892, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

■■rjivo roe audience for a word or two." —Shakettptre. Thf.kk are some people who think that t lir ideas as to the government of the universe should prevail with the Deity, and "hat Hp should interfere to punish those w hom they think wrong. The old satirist apeak? of people who (Mnipounil for sins they are inclined to l',y (burning those they have no uiiiiil to. gut these people don't merely "damn" in n general way, but want to employ all lie powers of Omnipotence. The Herald of ln-t week contained an advertisement, of which this was the conclusion: — "Stay V ,,v from Ellerslio to day in behalf of the colony's welfare, present and future. God wulins:, let the rain pour." Now, my dear friend, that was not the way to do it. The rain hud poured on the previous day, and the Saturday was rather dull and threatening, so that many were prevented from going, «• Mereutio" being one of these. But the enforced absence from litis cause could not do the persons concerned any good. The pious gentleman who wrote that advertisement out;ht to pray that the minds of the people should be so enlightened that they would see the enormous sin they were guilty of in going to the races. " Let the rain pour !" Why, the wish is not only anti-Christian, but, malevolent. Suppose the rain had come down hard when the people were assembled, a certain proportion might have got wet through, and would have had colds, rheumatism, la grippe, Ac., and possibly some of them might have died. And what, according to this gentleman's idea, would their fate have been then ?

But, as a matter of fact, the races came off, itnl were, with a few drawbacks, thoroughly enjoyed. Hut then when 1 came down to town on Saturday morning, I found a notice on the board at the llkkald office suiting that owing to the rain, prayed for bv the author of the above quoted advertisement, a Wesleyan Sunday-school picnic had had to bo abandoned. Great, 110 doubt, was the disappointment amongst the lambs of the flock. The style of the man who prayed that it might rain on Saturday last, in order that, those who attended the race meeting might be deprived of all enjoyment, was in somewhat worse spirit than the disciples who asked Jesus that tire should come down from heaven to consume the people of a Samaritan village who would not receive them. Jesus sternly rebuked these malevolent ami short-siglited disciples. The people of that village had rejected the message which Jesus and his disciples brought, and 110 doubt were greatly to blame. But in this instance all the people who went to the races on Saturday, or who would have gone, were guilty of no greater crime than to differ from the author of the advertisement as to what it was lawful for them to do. Ido not denounce him in the strong language used in the Bible towards the self-righteous, but I would urge him to endeavour to change the hearts of men rather than to invoke either tire from heaven or rain.

It is dillicult to understand Mr. Ballance's idea of what constitutes the people. During the session he had a number of telegrams from the Chambers of Commerce throughout the colony in reference to the taxation proposal*. lie had, on the other side, certain resolutions from Auckland which the HtRAi-i'showed at the time were passed at a Keetingof four persons. Mr. Ballance told the House that they must not pay any attention to the Chambers of Commerce, who were composed of men who had always been antagonistic to the people. They must :ake public sentiment to bo expressed by :r.e Auckland telegram from four individuals. The Chambers of Commerce were savagely snubbed, while the Liberal Association, or whatever it was. were gushed over. We have lately had quite a repetition of these tactics. The press of Auckland ex pressed strong disapproval of lie* Ministerial changes, as taking away the influential position held by the Auckland representative in the Cabinet. The Auckland members united in a telegram of strong protest. Mr. Baliance takes no notice of this. Then Mr. W. J. Napier telegraphs— a man who is in 110 representative capacity —and .Mr. Ballance salutes him as the. man whom tho people of Auckland will be delighted to have as a spokesman. To his message the Premier replies that he is glad to hear that the people of Auckland are delighted at the accession of Mr. Carroll to the Ministry. Thus, even the Auckland members, who are supporters ci the Ministry, are put in the shade.

Clergymen, when assembled together, as we have seen lately", sometimes show their teeth at each other. I have heard, however, that two clerical gentlemen, when proceeding to Wellington lately, met with accidents which prevented them, if they had been disposed, from making any demonstrations of this kind for a time. Clergyman A. was in the habit of taking out hi- teeth when he retired to rest, and placing them in a tumbler of water till the morning. He did so on board of the steamer, and slept the sleep of the jn?t in his berth. The steward, bust|ing round the cabins in the morning, saw in the uncertain light a tumbler half full of water. Things had to be cleaned up, and ho simply chucked the contents of the tumbler overboard. That clergyman was placed in Such a position that he could not venture to address an assemblage, and of course he could nut fulfil certain preaching engagements. In his church gathering, his voice was mute. It is said, however, that when he discovered what had happened he used some language considerably overproof, although his enunciation was anything but distinct.

Curiously enough, clergyman B sustained "is accident on the same voyage. He had been very sick between the Manukau and New Plymouth, and when he reached the latter port he thought his troubles were ov er. He had only to go on shore in the boat, and make the rest of his journey by rail. Unfortunately, after he got in the boat, the sea was still rough He leant over the gunwale to discharge his bile into the ocean, when suddenly his teeth shot out,and sank to the bottom of the harbour. He also was mute at Wellington, as the dentist took several days to repair the damage.

A witty and cynical Premier of England -I think it was Lord Melbourne —used to Say that " a patriot was a fellow who wanted to bo made an exciseman." One is a l't to say that a labour agitator is a man yho wants to get a job from a Liberal Ministry, and is content with being made a harder in a gaol. The Ministers are evidently facing tha difficulty, and endeavour'"K to make as much room as possible. Everybody who can be " retired " is being pensioned off, and their places are being jillt'l with men " of the right colour." Hero 18 Mr. Bust, one of the leaders of the great strike, and who has been a prominent politician since, who has been made a warder *t the Hokitika gaol, and who has sworn to no further concern in politics, not 'hough the Tory party were to gain the JPPer hand, and to impose the yoke of Ell »ery upon unborn millions. This is the ml of his zeal for the working mail. Was 18 object from the beginning ?

The other day I remarked that owing to ° e , nu ®bcrof our benevolent organisations, Sfl l- "valry existing between them, oething like " body snatching" was going over the interesting subjects of charity, the n ' vas brought up the other day at l. . °' ICQ Court, and the case very fitly ilChar> te fi th -' 8, e Inspector of the but th ® AW oar was there to see to her, Bom ? officer of the Salvation Army Rescue bird »T L ot l ' ie Btarfc of him. The early Partv k i worm > however, and another Ma y ?;U got the start of both. Mr. Oliver ftuthn'rit- Presiding justice, fearful that the Mitt RiL' 68 °* t ' ie Charitable Aid Board and , "vacua Homo would come to logger-

heads in the desire to obtain possession of the woman, handed Iter over to the custody of the "other party,"and loft thorn lamenting.

The Charitable Aid Bo;«d are just now troubled about Ginx's Biroy. It appears that a young woman had given a hostage to fortune, and, as usual, the Board was appealed to, and enquiries were made as to he putative father, and the little affair was aired in the courts. Subsequently a childless con plo heard of the baby, and adopted it through the medium of one of the labour offices, a document being drawn up by which they accepted the new obligations to the child. By and bye the woman who adopted the child dies, an her husband not being so strong on keeping other people's babies as his childless wife, failed to see the force of maintaining it. He leaves the colony, the child being placed in the care of a friend, who *n due course comes to the Board to know .it they are to do with it, and to ascertain who is to maintain it. A reference to the so-called legal agreement shows that, from n legal point of view, it is not worth the paper it is written on. The Board's inspector is now roaming round to find the parents, and in the meantime Ginx's baby awaits developments.

The annual report of tlio Auckland Burns' Club is light and entertaining reading. It appears that "the churches have been cutting the ground from under the feet of the Club, but whether in the matter of haggis, whisky, or the Highland fling is not quite clear. "We have some reason for congratulation," says the versatile secretary, " when wo consider that the Burns' Club has been the means of introducing to the churches a pleasant and profitable helping hand on the narrow and versatile road to Heaven." It" the immortal Bobbie could read that extract from the report, how lie would snicker ! The Burns Club have evidently laid to heart the injunction, •' Cie us a gude conceit o oorsels."

An amusing incident occurred on tho wharf at the departure of His Excellency the Governor, Lord Onslow. A frisky dame, who seemed to be " under tho influence," waltzed up to little lluia, and said, " Be a good boy, grow up to bo a man, and come back and rule us as your father did." Lord Onslow, who overheard the remark, was greatly tickled, and the lady gave him a parting shot as he went over the Mararoa's gangway : " You know that we have treated you well, and don't you forget it 1" No doubt it was the recollection of the above touching episode which led Lord Onslow to bury his face in his handkerchief and go below when the torpedo boat left the Mararoa.

The anti-racing feeling displayed by some people in Auckland, as embalmed in the advertisement in the ITkicau), appears to be shared by some Dunedinites, at the autumn meeting there. It is said in the telegraphic report that "on the sandhills behind the grandstand were somo enthusi asts bearing a large placard on which 'Flee from the wrath to come' and ' Hell' were very prominent. They sang several hymns, but it was noticeable that they took up a position on the hill which enabled them to get a good view of the races !" This is very good, and beats the story of the Cotnish parson who, whileholding service, heard a sniff that a ship had come ashore, and was a good thing for the wreckers. Slowly descending from the pulpit, ho continued his impressive exhortations up the aisle till he got a good show for the door, when he emphatically exclaimed, " Boys, let's all start fair ! "

That was a delightful row between the "senior member" and the Mayor over precedence in the procession at the departure of Lord Onslow. It is said in some old chronicles that the first shall be last, and the last shall be first ; and he that would be the greatest among you let him be the least. The "senior member" is not that sot of man. By the way, at the banquet to Lord Onslow tho "senior member" was knight-in-waiting to the Countess of Galloway, who is said to be half-sister to Lord Salisbury, the Premier of England. It may interest the " senior member " to know that his predecessor at Lady Galloway's side at a banquet, was no less a personage than tho Emperor of Germany. Lady Galloway takes a keen interest in politics, and is a thorough paced Conservative, but she had a good quarter of an hour with the " senior member."

At the time of the Rev. C. H. Spurgeon's death, Bishop Cowie received an invitation to the memorial service at the Auckland Baptist Tabernacle. Owing to his absence from Auckland he was unable to be present, but it is not generally known that he sent a reply to the church secretary (Mr. S. H. Matthews), which is of so kmd and sympathetic and generous a tone, regarding a brother minister of another denomination, that I think it should be put on record. The Bishop says in his note : " Accept my best thanks for your kind invitation to the memorial service. No one thinks more highly than 1 do of the gifts of mind and h&art and speech possessed by the late Rev. G. H. Spurgeon, and of the manner in which he used them for the advantage of his fellow-men. I was accustomed to hear him preach to large audiences, long before he had the Tabernacle to preach in ; and in those early days of his career expected him to exercise the wide influence for good that in due time he did. I feel tho deepest sympathy for Mrs. Spurgeon and all the members of tho family, and pray that they may be the better able to bear their loss, by the knowledge that he whom they miss so grievously has now heard from the Master the satisfying welcome, 1 Good and faithful servant, enter thou into the joy of the Lord.'" Mkkccjtio.