HUMOUR AT SCHOOL.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 8472, 24 January 1891, Page 2 (Supplement)

HUMOUR AT SCHOOL.

Mr. H. J. Barker has an apparently inexhaustible store of stories of the wit and humour of schoolchildren. He contributes a paper on this subject to Chambers' Journal, from which we take the following extracts :— London schoolmistress had been trying her firstclass girls in the chapters of Genesis which deal with the reconciliation of Joseph to his consciencestricken brethren. After the lesson she gave a recapitulatory oral examination. By means of question and answer" she elicited from the girls how Joseph told his brethren that they must return to Canaan and bring back their aged father; and, finally, how the great waggons were brought out for the journey. " And now," continued the mistress, "what did kind Joseph give to his brothers before they started?" "Some good advice," responded one of the girls. " Joseph, knowing that his brothers were not accustomed to the use of waggons, thoughtfully said to them, ' See that ye fall not out by the way !' " The first essay which I present is the effusion of a girl in attendance at a poor school at the East End. The subject for composition was " Dreams." " Dreams are those queer short tales which come into your head when you are asleep. The boys have them as well as girls and women. They are nob true. If you have had a good supper, they are rather longer, and nob quite as true. Meat or fried fish makes them very long. When you have no supper at all, you either do not dream, or else you can't remember them. We generally dream some dreams over and over again. I have two short dreams which I have had a many Mines ; but my brother has more which he can remember, and my mother has one nightmare, she says. Ido not know why my father never says he has any dreams, except ib is because they are so long he hasn't the time bo remember them." During an examination in Mew Testament history a north-country diocesan inspector received a very practical reply from one of the girls in a church school. In the course of hi? examination he pub certain questions to the class on the twenty-second chapter of St. Luke's Gospel. In this chapter there is an account of the manner in which Christ and His disciples kept the passover. Presently he asked, " What was this unleavened bread which Christ so frequently mentions?" The question appeared to puzzle the class considerably. At length one plump little girl in the body of the class eyed the inspector courageously, and elevated her hand. " Well," said the inspector, " what do you say unleavened bread is, my little girl ?" "Please, sir," she replied, without shifting her eyes from his face for one moment, " it'll mean home-made 1" "Home-made?" the gentleman ejaculated. " Well, yes, my child, I suppose it would bo home-made. Bub explain to me your answer more fully." " Why, sir," the little dame glibly responded, " Jesus was always a saying, ' Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees;' and He knew if He could only get his followers to make their own bread, the wicked Pharisees would never have a hand in it, but would have to throw their nasty old leaven away 1"