LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXVII, Issue 8288, 21 June 1890, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

"Let me have audience for a word or two." Hhakexpere. TnEKE is no change in humanity from of D lcl times, and all things connected with Vl r kind arc only modified as the centuries proceed. Tins line sweeping generalisation -~;us into one's head when looking at tho mushed representation of the ancient jester ,-i\.n by Mr. Elton in "The Yeomen of J| ie Guard." (Poor Mr. Elton came to grief while doing a piece of steeplechase riding lii the Ellerslie racecourse, but I hope he will soon be all right, so that the people of Auckland may have a chance of seeing a wonderful, a unique piece of acting.) Where has the Jester gone? In ancient tnr.es every monarch, every nobleman, and every gentleman of degree had a Jester, who made jokes, told stories, indulged in reflective remarks, and was privileged to fivak frankly about things. Sir Walter r-cott gives us a perfect picture in • ■ Ivanhoe," wherein Wamba, the jester, communicates more knowledge and shows lucre depth of reflection than the thickwitted warriors who abounded in those timet-. Shakespere is prolific in the professional jester. Besides the reminiscence of > oriek in " Hamlet," we have a most philseophic fool in "King Lear,'" Touchstone in '• As You Like It," and several others in the vast gallery, all men withdrawn from the current of action themselves, and making reflections on the passing show before them. Where has the Jester gone now. 1 suppose there is no getting away from the conclusion that printing in its multitudinous tonus has abolished the Jester, and swallowed him up as it has devoured so many other tilings. As I have said, his function was, to stand aside from action, not to be concerned in the responsibilities and struggles of life, and so to be able to give candid criticism. This is now done bv our humourists and novelists, with more or less success. The J ester some; itnes •Vdd the truth to his master when no other could venture to do it, and on the whole, in the Middle Ages, he had an important function. [He was the representative; at that time oi the liberty of the press, so that 1 and all my brethren must look back to him with respect. 1 wonder how it would Jo to revive the institution to some extent. For instance, could one not be attached to the House of Representative* ? If so shrewd a fellow as King heat's fool had been privileged in 1870, when the House all '• ->: mad about public works, lie might have saved the* country by his jibes. At the present time he Mould perhaps MW-o-md the conundrum. "Why is ■fir Harry Atkinson like Pharaoh?*' and «hen everybody cave it up the answer would be obvious, " Because he cannot stop the exodus.*' This sort of thing might be somewhat trying, but it would vary tne proceedings in the House of Representatives, and perhaps attract attention to a truth.

An old sea song was quoted the other day in the Hkkvld, beginning " Fifteen men on the dead man's chest.'' This song is given on various occasions in Stevenson's "'Treasure Island," but no explanation is made about the phraseology. Now, the words " Head Man's Client "ought to have capital letters. The line does not. mean that fifteen sailors were sitting with a rot-tie of rum on tire box of a dead num. Dead Man's Chest, is the name of some islands somewhere about the West Indies, on which a number of desperate filibusters and castaways ha.l got with a supply ot ram.

Tat has lately been some discussion about book canvassing, and about whether or not persons have been induced to put their names to paper, involving considerable liability, through misrepresentation. 1 observe that in New South Wales, where there has been the same trouble, Dr. Creed, a member of the Legislative Council, eiigcestß that a very common sense precaution should be adopted. His proposal is, that the publishers of these subscript volumes or pictures be compelled to print across the order forms a plain notification in red ink of the amount tor which the signer renders himself liable. his will prevent any misunderstanding that might otherwise be caused by the mention of periodical payments of os or 10s per week in the body of the instrument.

In this column lately a paragraph appeared in which some fault was found with the grammatical structure of a resolution laid before the Board of Education by the chairman, Mr. Udy. The accusation was, it seems, founded either upon a mistake ot the compositor or in the copy made of the motion. As we printed the motion it read :-" That, on and after Ist day 01 July,' ISOO, a rental be charged for all teachers' residences, based upon the annual lettin" value of. and the salaries of such teachers, "etc. The country teachers, endeavouring to construe this language nrictlv. as they would do a sentence in "Ct=ar" if " Cfflsar" is ever read now, with all'these new-fangled notions about, and they wanted to know how thenannual value to let was arrived at. But a small change would make it all rignt. The words in our report of the meetino- should have been " present annual letting value thereof." So that the official documents of the Board of Education are as yet immaculate in their grammar.

In reference to a paragraph in my last Week's column, a correspondent writes :— ' ; I think your comment upon ' the revolt of the worldly ' i- calculated to do 'Another Christian ' opponent an injustice, by leadin" readers to infer that he would only etas* as Christians those whom you term the religious world—' men who go regularly to church, who take part in religious societies, and spend much of their leisure •time in'religious concerns.' Now to a careful reader of ' ThetaV letters it must he evident that he holds no such narrow creed He would not unchristiamse a man merely because Ins nature had never been deeply stirred. To many such he would perhaps, consider applicable the words ol our Lord ' to whom little is forgiven the same loveth little.' Nor would he ask for a great display of religious acts or feelings. He would hold that a man s position is determined not by what he says he believes, D even perhaps thinks he believes, but by what he believes in his inmost heart and acts on. He would probably regard many of ' the great mass of society' as better Christians than many of the ' religious world. But the position he took up and maintained unflinchingly throughout the controversy was that one who refused to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ could not be a Christian. Perhaps in no previous age has there been such a deliberate, intelligent rejection of Christ as Lord and Saviour Is this nob dangerously like ' the spirit of the Anti-Christ?' And in a so-called christian community is there not need for such a protest as ' Theta's' ''"

It micdit naturally be thought that mooting-." of the Board of Education would be very dreary, and principally occupied with matters of departmental routine. On the contrary, they are frequently enlivened with genuine flashes ot wit and humour, and with droll incidents. Let me give a few of the latter which took place recently :—A lady teacher in the country asked that she might be "removed to some place'nearer civilization—say, V\ aikomiti." Some of the members of the Board thoughtthat in asking togo toWaikomiti she was getting beyond he confinesof civilization and on to those of the next world. An irate parent in a country district wrote more in Borrow than in anger in the interest 01 his offspring educationally. His grievance was one of the most remarkable _ that has yet come under the notice of the Board. It seems-, that the teacher, according to his averment, also occupied the post of midwife for the district, and her services were often invoked «t inconvenient seasons, and without regard to school hours or school timetables. That was not the worst of it. His little daughter could give him the names of ;.ii the ladies in the district who would require the services of Mrs. during the next six months! The members of the Board are all " family men," and took in the situation at once. In the interest of "unborn millions" it was unanimously decided that the letter be referred to the district school committee to ask for such explanations and to take such action as •tke« might deem necessary.

Another good thing was some correspondence in reference to the disputed election of a. school committee. It appeared that a Chinaman, who claimed to be a British subject, had been denied alike the right of nomination or even of voting - , lie appealed to the committee on "the man and a brother" lines somewhat as follows : " Me allee same as Englishman; mo have black hair allee same as . .Mo no Hkeo ; too muchec talkee, and no doey ; me no likee him !"

Occasionally some parsons consider themselves at "bun worries." Perhaps the most conspicuous instance of the kind that I have noticed lately is that of a parson down South who was assisting at the induction of a clerical brother. He said he received the earliest part of his training in public speaking as a " bullock puncher " in the district where the new pastor was born. " Bullocks," he said, "required some very firm and plain speaking sometimes, and" if some of their ministers had a similar training they might possibly be able to speak out plainer from the pulpit than they did." i have no doubt a parson of this stamp could also do a little " mule-exhorting." ' We have always had in Auckland too many people who are, to use. the vague and fashionable phr<v?e, " engaged in business." There arc too many gentlemen here who won't work. They will scheme, and contrive, and speculate, but they are determined to abolish, as far as they are concerned, the very idea of earning their bread by the sweat of their brow. And the mortifying thing is that while things are prosperous these men lead tho most delicious kind of existence. Earth for them is a paradise, a paradise of a Mahomedan kind, but still the paradise they care for. They have a villa in the suburbs ; they hold honoured positions in many festive gatherings. If good times continued, and money Mere always flush in the community, they would piss through life honoured and envied of the unfortunates who have to bear the heat and burden of the day. But sometimes there comes a keen and nipping frost, ami they have to go, and it is found that for years they have been living on contrivances. It is then also found that they have thought their paradise incomplete without a plurality of wives. Are not hard times a blessing every few years, just to clear out a few of these fellows? I note that another smart business man lias folded his tent like the Arab, and has stolen silently away, nor lost, but gone before. He had the Grippe, but it was of the funds, and everybody, wise after the event, wonders how the}" were "done brown." Some citizens were perched on the tailboard of a tramcar the other day discussing the burning question of "another good man gone wrong," when one of them remarked, " Which of us will be the next?" "Oh," said the Diogenes of the party, "as to that, old man, speak for yourself." Mi'.kcutio.