LADIES COLUMN.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXVI, Issue 9325, 30 March 1889, Page 4 (Supplement)

LADIES COLUMN.

ETIQUETTE -OF CARD LEAVING. So many queries reach mo respecting fcho etiquette of card leaving that ib sedms .many persons experience considerable diffi* culty€n ascertaining the correct course to . pdrsue in the matter. A few hints on the . su&ject will, therefore, doubtless prove ac- ; • to my readers. The "origin of ' the • custom of leaving cards 'is due to the fact tlrqft it is not judicious to twist to servants' mommies; tho primary ,ÜBo#,of : a visiting' • Cajd iS,' then, to "notify to a friend or ..acquaintance when "you call the circumstance your having ~ paid a visit. When a married lady ' YjeitSi another ' who does nob i happen to bo at homo she loaves one card' of Jier own for. the lady, and two of her' husband'sone for, the' lady and one for .the master of the house. If her cards bear her husband's name as well as her own-—, as, fq£ instance, Mr.'and Mrs.' John Smith ( she leaves one of these for 'thoJady and, one of her husband's "cards;'for.the gentle-* n&n.*' If there is a lady "staying 'in" 'the house for whom the , call is 'intended,' she also leaves a card for hbr,:.jbr'i£ th'ero aro grown-up* daughters of ( the*'house a card should bo left for also, one card sufficing for any number ; and, if there are : grown-up sons living' at home, one for each whom her husband happens to know. This, miosis, however, rfot strictly observed, tho istamber of cardsleft seldom exceeding two* of each kind. Young ladies- should nob 1 have cards of thoir own. ' When bhoy come out their names aro inscribed below mother's on-her card; if they, have no mother, tho'n i thoir names aro , on- thpir father's card, or else on that of whatever friond ov, relative takes thom into socioty. ' It? cannot be too emphatically asserted that under no ( ,circum tan .wh ate verbs' it. perrfeissablo t'o send 'bards by post, except in .< such cases as the following In the event of illness in the lipase, or in the case of -an accident or' death, it is _ the custom for friends to call and leave'cards with' "kind inquiries" or to inquire" written'on them, afid, when tho illness has passed, over and the patient is convalescent, or tho mourners have recovered sufficiently to meet thoir it is then usual to ' send by post •,vffi|irj^.'cards with "-Mr.* arid Mrs. Smith .return thanks for kind inquiries," or something ' to 'that effect. _ And it is customary for the recipients of' these cards to call ; soon' after their receipt. It is, however, not correct to send visiting cards "to inquire" by post. ' Another particular in which mistakes aro often mado is in the case of wedding cards. When ' wedding cards are received it is incorrect to return tho cards of; the recipient in an envelope, and, as it has boon stated above, it is never permissablo to send visiting cards by post, except-in the cases mentioned. Brides wait to be called upon, and friends of either bride or bridegroom* call when they know the young couple havo returned. ' lb should also bo remembered that a bfido ought to return her wedding visits within a very short time after receiving them. Indeed, all formal calls should be J paid promptly.- For 'instance, after any, entertainment the guests should call upon tho hostess' in the course of a few days or on her first day at-home, if she has a reception day ; and ib should always bo borno in mind that the' return visit to a' first call should bo paid as soon 'as practicable. Great care should be exercised in the matter of ,returning visits punctually, a3 people are very apt to take offence'if their calls remain unreturned. The hours for making formal visits aro from three to six in the summer, and from three till five in the winter. Of course,' the frequency of calls entirely on tho decree of , intimacy existing between the ladies concerned, and, therefore,-no rnlo can belaid down in this respect. Ladies with largo circles of acquaintances find visiting books of great assistance. In these they enter the names and addresses of all ladies on their visiting list, with their days "at home," and the dates of visits received and returned. There are several methods of keeping a book of this kind, but ono of tho best ways is to merely write the names on the page, dividing tho opposite leaf into two columns, headed respectively " called" and "returned," affixing the dates when • occasion offers. In conclusion, it may be stated in reply to questions received on the subject that it is not at all 1 good form to i have either Indies' or gentlemen's cards inscribed with the Christian name without * the prefix of "Miss" or "Mr.," for, although Bome eccentric beings, who pride themselves on their originality, have " Alary Jones" or "Charles Smith" printed on their cards, as the caso may bo, ib is decidedly bad form.—" Iris," in tho Leader.