LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXV, Issue 9196, 27 October 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

"Let me have audience tor a wont or two." —Shakspere, In a paragraph last week, " lilercutio" suggested that as Mr. Hannaford had had much to do with the erection of the Freshwater Baths, he might favour his fellowcitizens with a few notions as to how they can be utilised and mado attractive. I did not think that Mr. Hannaford was the man to decline a challenge of thi3 sort, but I was scarcely prepared for tho way in which ho takes it up. He says ho has over and over again shown how tho baths could be made more popular, bub as it has been all without avail, he declines to do so any more, as it would be time thrown away. " What is the use," he says, " of piping to men oblivious of the poetry of motion ':" Ho goes on to show how tho Council have utterly ruined the Market-place by making it a huge dep6t for rags, bottles, bones, masks, and fireworks. Bub Mr. Hannaford is nothing if not a patriot, as witness his anxiety to mate hearts that beat as one, bub who, except; for his endeavours, would for ever beat separately.

The Taranaki peoplo arc now turning round upon us. They say that tlio Auckland newspapers frequently ciiart' them about their breakwater, which, after having .■ad expended upon ib a large sum of money, is of very little use, but we say nothing: about our own dock, which also haa cost much money, and, as yet, has been of very littlo good to the port. We acknowledge that there are some resemblances, bub there arc also somodillbrence3. We can keep our own white elephant* ourselves, although we admit that wo do somewhat grudge the amount of food which it devours. But the Taranaki breakwater devours the substance of Waitara and of a large extent of inland country, and in all probability it will have to get "the colony to feed it. If not, then the Taranaki peoplo threaten that they may have to repudiate all responsibility for the animal. We have no doubt that if we wait our dock will bo found to be a powerful means of placing Auckland in a premier place among bha ports of Australasia. Tho Taranaki brcukwater will hardly be able to maintain itself against the etorms of the ocean.

The crowds which have attended the lectures of Miss Finkelstein show whnt an interest there i 3 still taken in all that relates to the history, manners, and customs of the people who gave us the .Scripture?. Might I suggest that our preachers should take a lesson from this ? Why should they not, instead of dealing entirely with doctrines, read up on the subject of Oriental customs, and by that mean 3 enliven their sermons, and throw light on obscure passages of Scripture ? 2s ay, could we not go a little further without any profanity? At church soirees, and at entertainments connected with congregations, there is often difficulty in finding means of keeping an audience interested. Could not those con-

nected with churches take a hint from Misd Finkelstein? "Passion Plays," we know, were sanctioned for many centuries by the Church as a means of teaching the facts of Scripture. Something of the sorb might be revived. We might have Abraham sitting at his tent door on the plains of Mamre, and the whole scene brought before the view. We might have a representation of Pharoah's daughter on the banks of tho Nile finding Miaes in the bullrushes, and committing him to Miriam and his mother. There is no end to the making of books, and we have a copious supply of workti upon Palestine and alt that i-- connected with it. But then people will not read them. There are innumerable scenes in .Scripture which would admit of splendid and instructive tableaux without in theslightest degree verging on the profane.

While I am in the way of giving hints to managers of churches, I may draw their attention to the fact that the Rev. Mr. lsitt, who is now stationed at Sydenham, near Ghristchurch, lias actually established a gymnasium in eonnection with the We.sleyan Church property. The Rev. Air. Hill has done good work in this way in Auckland, but we have not yet got the length of having a gymnasium as an adjunct to any church. The Rev. Mr. Hill, however, did something else, and what I think is considerably better, and somewhat more akin to the ordinary duties of a clergy-man—-he gave lessons in cookery, and had the courage to attempt practical exemplifications on the .stage in the presence of a number of ladies. He even condescended to show them how to make porridge. Clergymen, without going the length of establishing gymnasiums where young people may indulge themselves in exhilarating exercises, might fairly enlarge on the theme that cleanliness is next to godliness, and show how a large part of the Scripture is occupied with Divine laws set forth to enable His chosen people to preserve their health.

gjLocal gossip has been busy during the week over an interesting event which takes place this afternoon "in St. Sepulchre's Church, namely, the marriage of the retiring Lady Superintendent of the District Hospital, Miss Crisp, to Dr. Bond, formerly house surgeon of the institution. Since the introduction of the "sweet hospital nursu graduate " into the institution, there have Been two or three love idylls there, some nurses carrying off their patients in due season, not to the morgue, but to tho hymeneal altar, the old adage holding good, "Pity is akin to love." Thejecord has

now been broken by the lady superintendent carrying oil" the ex-house surgeon, and, presumably, she bus been carolling of late in the big house on the hill tho fines of the divine, William—

'• My i!iij.'o ] make a choir, as cloth Hie prisoned bird, And sing my liuiHaji) freely." Though t!io wedding takes place ab the Bethel in the Kybor Pass, it will not be by any means a sepulchral arrangement. The nursing stall:", it is understood, will be present in ['iree, in uniform, and will set their mob caps as coquettishly as usual. Colonel Haultain, who is not-, us a rule, disposed to "give away " anybody, has gallantly undertaken to fulfil that delicate function in l-ocrard to the fair bride, who in her whole professional career has never experienced that novel operation. Her training is nob likely to be lost even now, however, for it goes without saying that the doctor will be her " ward." All that remains for me now to say, in the role of " a heavy father," is " Bless you, my children !"

Somo inquiry had been made on the Rialto, where the political quidnuncs most do congregate, as to why the face of " The People's William"—and when I use the phrase "T.P.W.," I do nob mean the G.0.M., but the great political agitator, "Billy" Hodge—is no longer to be seen there, and why tarry his charioo wheels. Ib seems that he has temporarily retired from public life, having , been wounded in the foot, if not in the tendon Achilles. Ab one time it was thought that the foot would have to coino off, bub tho surgeon drew,the line ab the big toe. Some of air. Hodge's quondam political associates say it is hardly likely that he will re-enter public life, inasmuch as he will be unablo to " too tho line." He is loud in his praise of hospital management after his prolonged stay of three months in the institution, but although susceptible to feminine blandishments, scarcely so ecstatic in his utterances as Constable Christie, who, on leaving tho hospital, crisply remarked of tho nursing staff, "They wero simply angels, barring the wings."

"One touch of nature makes tho whole world kin." The other day ono of the tramcur drivers, Mr. John Donovan, who has been "on tho road" from the earliest days of the Tramway Company, took it into his head to run in double harness on a fresh circuit. Times are quiet, bub they do not dull the edge of friendship among tramway men, and accordingly tho edalF and employes nuido him during tho past week it presentation of a dining-room suite. I have no doubt that John will drivo tho matrimonial team as snfely and smoothly as ho has done tho tramcars, evon though ho will have to handle more " ribbon , ) " than formerly.

An amusing incident occurred at the opening of the season of the Auckland Bowling Club last- Saturday. A batch of new members were proposed for ballot, among them the keeper of Safety Villa, Mount Eden, at which there was some joking, and a suggestion that the line should be drawn, us we all know whab we are, but Heaven knows what we may be. Others thought, on the contrary, that it was just as well to have a friend ub Court. The joker of the Club, in ordinary, observed that there should be no difficulty with regard to Mr. Reston's admission, as members would never know him intimately unless they got " bowled out." This viow of the matter re-assured.,members, and they cheerfully " run him in."

Miss von Finlcelstoin, in her "True Life of Jacob," cleared up a good many points in tho history of the patriarch, but her explanation a* to why Jacob wopt after kissing Rachel at the well was eminently unsatisfactory. She said ib was for joy. It is just as likely that it was because Rachel told him to "lot well alone/' and put the kisses back where he took them from. Then the lady exalted her favourite character by asking how many young men in her auditory would act as Jacob did with Laban, "do seven years" for a girl, and regard ib as only " a low days." Why, the modern Adonis would "go one better" on Jacob. Ho would simply tell tho old man, when the latter came to talk matrimonial biz, that he was willing to be "a lifer" with that/ girl.

A correspondent sends me the following, bub as Mr. Lawry is the mildest-mannered man that ever sought a scar, or drew a honorarium, his supposition is wildly improbable, although the point of tho conundrum is not by any means lost: —" Suppose the member for Franklin North developed tlio propensities of a cannibal, and devoured the Bard of Otahuhu, why would Mr. W. R. Wills bo for ever afterwards handed down as Now Zealand's greatest pool.? You give it up? Well, because he would always be spoken of as the Pool, Lawry* ale,' , Ha! no ! ha! AJkrcutio.