LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXV, Issue 9124, 4 August 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

" Let me have audience for a word or two." —Shafenptrt. A correspondent, over the signature of "Senectus," the other day protested in a sort of wailing way against the ringing of St. Matthew's Church bell on Sundays. He says, "It is a source of great annoyance to residents in th 9 vicinity." Why, "Senectus" must be even more crotchety and sensitive than the fair protress against the Mount Eden rifle range. But, outside his own personal predilections and whims, how has he ascertained that residents in the vicinity find this bell-ringing a great annoyance? I admit that after protracted Saturday evening festivities the clanging of bells may have the tendency to interrupt that perfect repose which is so essential to recuperation. Still, I think that people generally like the sound of church bolls. There is something in it pleasantly suggestive of the dear old spot across the sea—something which tells of respite from carbine - care and mundane worry, and invites to peace and rest for a

time.

Hear, sensitive Mr. "Senectus," You, surely, could never expect us To'muttlo our bell Cause you do not feel well Through last evening's—well, let's say delectus.

This protracted peace is going to be sadly disappointing to the Frozen Meat Export Company (Limited). Every now and again tilt; 'hopes of shareholders and directors have been raised by prospects of a European war, only to be cruelly dashed by news of pacific character. Someone (was it, Shakspere or Socrates?) once made the observation that " Hope deferred maketh the heart sad," or words somewhat to that fleet. War deferred means, to the Frozen Meat. Export- Company, all that the apothegm implies. ell, it is roughvery rough 011 the company. Here has the Board been, for long weary mont hs, looking forward to the good time coming when British and Continental commissariats would be cabling orders to clear all colonial markets of tinned meats —price no object, only quantity. Whenever the cablegrams hinted at clash of arms, the directors would feel encouraged and cheered in their arduous uphill work.

One member of the Board of Directors, I am told, abstains, on conscientious ground?, from joining in that part of the Litany which says, "Give peace in our time. O Lord," feeling, as any honest church-goer would, that the sentiment was not in harmony with the hopes and desires of his company. Most of our readers will, no doubt, recollect that when the great Russian war scare occurred a few years ago, a genial, but by no means verdant, resident of our marine suburb " made friends of the Mammon of unrighteousness or, in other words, cultivated the Treasury Department with such conspicuous success, that he felt free to do the "Continong" and various other foreign parts for a year or so. The only one mistake the Government made was in not appointing our genial friend at a modest- salary of £1500 a year, with travelling expenses, to lecture on "North New Zealand as a desirable field for speculation in land-blocks with sea frontage."

Ye? ! my friend's face was a perfect wargauge, and he might be described as a sort of peripatetic barometer in that respect. If you saw Mr. walking down the Devonport Wharf to the ferry-boat, with a glad, joyous expression on his jolly visage, you would know, although you had not yet seen your morning paper, that war was imminent" according to Reuter. But if an aspect of settled gloom, and a sort of broken-spirited air pervaded his erstwhile beaming countenance, you would know that depressing cablegrams had come to hand, purporting that peace was likely to be preserved. This was certainly the sorest trial ray well-nourished and genial friend had, because one result of these provoking pacific cablegrams might any day be ■■ negotiation for purchase considered broken off." However, the scare lasted long enough for substantial financial results (as a former chairman of the Harbour Board would say) to follow.

I was at a loss to account, for Father Hackett's discourse of the other Sunday evening, and how it was that the ancient feud between Catholics and Masons should have blazed forth at this particular time. Perhaps I am wrong in applying the word feud. The Roman Catholic Church denounces the Masons, but the latter never retaliate. Any Roman Catholic may become a Freemason to-morrow, and 1 venture to say that in no lodge will he ever hear a word spoken in disparagement of his church. It is said that it has all arisen from one man, who is a Roman Catholic and a Freemason, and who, it- seems, it was feared would become instrumental in inducing other young men to become Freemasons.

What strange maleficent influence impels clergymen more than other people to make wild assertions, and dabble in matters of which they are totally ignorant? First, we had Bishop Neville making unsupported charges of immorality against our public schools, which he had to retract. Now we have Archdeacon Stock plunging recklessly into a quagmire of wild assertion on the same subject, for which he will shortly have to cry " peccavi." Then we see Father Hackett putting his foot in it with his allegations against Freemasonry, of the principles and practice of which he is as ignorant as a Solomon Islander of the precession of the equinox. When is this sort of thing going to stop ?

When a person lays himself open to public comment, and renders himself amenable to Press criticism, by reason ,of his peculiar actions, he must expect notoriety of a more or less pleasant character — sometimes,especially less. Now, when " Mercutio" referred last week to a certain subordinate official in the Customs as having an affinity for bung-holes, lie did not mean to imply that Mr. Jack man's olfactory sense was in sympathetic accord with She odour proceeding from bung-holes, and yet that appears to have been the lig*it in which he regarded my remarks. Proceeding on this assumption, the eccentric gauger, as I am informed, has been roundly abusing " Mercutio " for taking an unwarrantable liberty with his name. He says that I may depart, with all f'ue despatch, to Sheol (this is the revised version of a phrase which is, usually, more concise).

" Bees" used to be quiJe an institution in the good old times. There were sewing bees, and weaving bees and spinning bees, and many other kinds. Sometimes they took the form of Dorcas meetings, when the feminine parishioners were wont to ply their nimble fingers and their equally nimble tongues on summer evenings. The latest illustration of this kind of tiling was supplied on Saturday last, but the feminine element was not required on the occasion. It was a painting bee, and was the outcome of a voluntary offer on the part of the vestry and parishioners of Epiphany Church to put in their leisure time on Saturday afternoon by painting the new fence. The act was purely spontaneous, gratuitous, and in good taste, and might, I think, be imitated with advantage by more pretentious churches, whose shepherds are perpetually worrying their flocks because funds are required for some purpose or other. The esteemed incumbent of Epiphany Church was most indefatigable in—keeping his eye on the workers, and seeing that there was no shirking or malingering, while the minister's churchwarden did good service at intervals by making remarks of an approving and encouraging nature.

I have a complaint to make to the railway authorities; and I am sure that in this case even Mr. Hudson, who, as a rule, thinks that the railway officials can do no wrong, will admit that I have a grievance. A lady, who has occasion to travel on the VVaikato line, tells me that she has frequently to make a long journey in the company of natives. She has no objection to Maoris simply as fellow-beings of another race ; but she complains that they and their clothes sometimes smell strongly of close confinement in a Maori whare, and that their movements are suggestive that they are not entirely without the need of Keating's insecticide. I tried to explain away all these disagreeable facts, when I was

met by another objection which I own staggered me, and made me at once promise to present a humble but firm petition to Mr. Hudson. She said that on one occasion she had made a long journey, and a Maori was in the carriage who had not a stitch upon him but a blanket ! I do not think that anything more awful could be imagined. Just reflect upon the dangers and risks which every moment were imminent ! A guard cannot be particular in inspecting every passenger, but it ought to be a rule that every man going into a railway carriage should have a pair of trousers on.

For steady persistence in the assertion of a claim, we have never known Mrs. Ann Robertson to be excelled. Conceiving herself to be the victim of a wrong at the hands of the late Robert Graham in regard to the ownership of Lake House, Ohinemuf she has for years pressed her claims in the Supreme Court in every form which the law permitted, and her presence became as familiar to the frequenters of the court as that of the court crier. And even when after all the property was put up for sale by order of the court, she was present, and entered her protest:. Some lines which recently appeared in Punch on the death of Miss Fray, a well-known frequenter of the law courts, are so applicable to Mrs. Robertson that I quote them : —

Nut as a mere hack bencher, To court she daily hied, Hut while the Judges tried her suits. She oft. the Judges tried. No end of actions she had brought, This enterprising dame, And though at last "put" out of court, She'll haunt it just the same.

It must be understood that I wish Mrs. Robertson long life, health, and happiness, although probably everybody does not coincide wit me. She now threatens aggression in two quarters. She is going to Uotorua with a bailiff, and will attempt to take possession of Lake House, claiming £I'2 per week rent ; also, she intends to go to ellington to press her case upon the members. It costs the colony about .I*s per week for policemen to keep Mr. and Mrs. Agnew from tormenting members in the precincts of the House. We hope that no further cost will be incurred to the country through Mrs. Ann Robertson going down to Wellington to enlighten members as to her title to Lake House, and her difficulties with the late Mr. Robert Graham. Mrs. Robertson is a most, indefatigable woman. She will tight and struggle as long as she lives, and when she is dead the words " Lake House will be found imprinted on her heart.

Judging by the article in the HF.RAT.nthe other day"on a case in the Resident .Magistrate's Court, where the Charitable Aid Hoard sought that young men who had incurred certain responsibilities by indulging in unlawful pleasures should find sureties for the regular payment of the consequent pecuniary indebtedness, the editor must be a somewhat unsophisticated person, He is astonished that three illegitimate children should have been foisted on the Charitable Aid Board to be maintained by the public. Why, that is nothing compared with the cases which are sought to be fathered upon the public. Anyone attending the weekly meetings of the Charitable Aid Hoard would be surprised indeed. lie would soon acquire very low ideas of human nature. It is the regular thing now when a young man finds himself in a ditlieulty to clear out for Sydney. Things are not very encouraging here, and any accident is sure to turn the scale. It seems to be supposed all over the colony that the Charitable Aid Board here are in a somewhat better position than similar bodies elsewhere, for we have immigrants in an interest ing condition from all quarters. The members of the committee who examine into such, cases declare that their views of human nature will become degraded, and that they' will soon be cynical and harsh. Perhaps it. will be said, as regards some of them, that they were never anything else. I understand that some of the members of committee have proposed that they should devolve a section of their dut upon a jury of ladies, who would have naturally less delicacj in putting many of the necessary questions. Not a jury of matrons should be chosen in this instance, but, say, a jury of elderly maiden ladies. They would save the ratepayers' money.

In the good old Rook, the Teacher enjoins upon his followers the wisdom, not to say consistency, of plucking the beam out of their own eyes before attempting to extract. the mote from the eyes of their brethren. This injunction has been called to my mind from the fact that the Salvation Army has. during the week, seen fit to charge a. defendant. with annoying them while engaged in public worship. Well, only on Sunday evening last, I heard and saw the Army band playing after ten o'clock at night at the bottom of Wellesleystreet ; also, I have, time and time again, been in places of public worship when the Army has come past, and by its noise disturbed the worship of those assembled. The Army has been remonstrated with for this, and for their noisy demonstrations, times without number, but without avail, for they apparently have neither thought nor care for others' comfort, nor respect for other people's religion. They know the feeling of the age is against anything savouring, even distantly, of persecution of theological opinion, and on this feeling in the public mind they presume, and torture and annoy others. \\ ith a record for disturbing and annoying others, such as the Salvation Army has, clioy should be the very last people in the world to talk of others annoying there. If they are occasionally disturbed, they should not be too ready to complain, for it is only the fulfilment of the saying of Him whom they profess to worship, that "As ye mete it to others so shall it be meted out to you ; ' mil " whatsoever ye sow that shall ye also reap/' Mercutio.