CURIOUS SCENE IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXV, Issue 9124, 4 August 1888, Page 6

CURIOUS SCENE IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.

[Friday Evening, August 3, 1888.] The House was sitting. The usual member was making the usual speech, when suddenly the Great Angel of Truth descended amongst the representatives of the colony of New Zealand, awoke their slumbering consciences, and lightly touched with his wand each member on the tongue. A curious and instructive scene followed. We will merely chronicle a few speeches from some of the more prominent men, omitting their real names, and simply distinguishing them by letters from the alphabet :~— Mr. A. was addressing the House, and said : "I do not know what has just com« over me, but I feel that for once, at least, I must really speak the truth. (Applause.) With deep shame I confess that I have all along been acting against my conscience. I knew that we were not doing right in the matter of our railways. (I will mention none particularly.) They have, I own, been all laid down on the same wicked, disgraceful lines of jobbery and private interest!" [Here Mr. A. sat down, too much overcome with remorse and repentance to continue.] Mr. B. caught the Speaker's eye, and proceeded to unburden his mind: "My trouble is the fearful waste of public money on our present educational system. (Hear ! hear.) 1 deeply deplore the fact that it is in great, measure owing to the cowardice I have, alas ! always displayed. I have been urged over and over again to retrench in this direction. But what could I do ? Nearly all my constituents were either teachers themselves, or else fathers, brothers, uncles, or cousins of those engaged in cramming our young people with —in most cases—utterly useless learning. If I reduce the expenses, I offend all these kind relations and friends." [Hero Mr. B. sobbed bitterly, and had to sit down.] Mr. C rose up with a weary, careworn look, and said, "It is the Civil Service that is the bugbear of my conscience. (Moans and groans). I have retrenched any number of poor, under-paid clerks, and cast them adrift on the world. But, oh! I could not equally reduce our generous allowance to others ! You all know how I was returned '. How a friend would come up smiling to me: ' Well, old man, I can get you ten or twelve votes,' and then would follow the inevitable ' By-the-bye, there's my son. Jack. He's no good at all. Can you find him a place somewhere'! Not much brain-work, you know, and a decent screw.' And of course when I took my seat I had numbers of promises of that sort to fulfil. You all had. Yes, now—l can't tell why I am confessing all this—now, I feel as if I could never do such things again. I am truly sorry now." [Mr. C. here collapsed in a state of indescribable wretchedness.] .Mr. 1). attempted to speak, but was so overcome with emotion that he had to allow another member to bewail his shortcomings. Mr, E. said, most earnestly :—"Gentlemen, —On behalf of myself and colleague do I entreat your pardon, and that oi the country, for the time I have wasted myself in the House, and caused so many of you to waste also. Alas ! I confess that it was not. love for New Zealand ; it was not patriotism that prompted my opposition to all measures proposed by the other party for the relief of my over-taxed, suffering, and depressed country. Oh ! must I tell you? Must I proclaim my own infamy ? It was because I loved the sound of my own voice ! Because I liked the honourable position of M.H.R. (Most Horrid Rulers, that we are.) Because I was too lazy to earn my own living by fair work, and gladly threw myself on the country for support. Not for the good I might do her, but for the goods I could get for myself and family." [Entirely prostrated by the remembrance of these terrible facts, Mr. E. sank exhausted on his seat. ] Mr. F. remarked in a husky voice, as though contending with deep feeling, that there was one thing he felt moved to say. The House was now, he felt assured, truly sorry, most humbly repentant, for its past conduct, and desirous to amend, lit* knew, he said, that he was standing on old established forms, and sitting on ancient ceremonies in proposing' in this impromptu manner, a sweeping reform. But they must act now, whilst their hearts and consciences were tender and in a pliable state. So he begged to propose the abolition of two-thirds of the present Houses of Parliament. Those who remained to be chosen— the Northern members by the Southern, and vice versa. They were to devote their whole time to the work, and receive sufficient salary to enable them to live comfortably, but not extravagantly." This grand measure was instantly carried, and the Speaker expressed his wish to make a few remarks. He said: —"I congratulate you all most heartily. Now lam indeed convinced that we . hall prosper. Many a time, sitting here, listening to the debates, have I felt inclined to rise and ask you all how you dared act as you were doing ! You seemed, sometimes, to have lost all sense or feeling of the reason you were chosen to legislate for this most important colony. Self-inte-rest predominated over everything else ! You seemed utterly indifferent to the welfare of this highly-favoured land. Particularly favoured by the most completely de-void-of-common-sense Government possible. But now I hope for better things. Forget yourselves in your country '. Seek not your own, but the general good ; so shall we be blessed above all other nations !" He ceased speaking, and the whole House immediately dissolved in tears. L.F. R.